Neil Parmesan
@ktoab.bsky.social
Mollusk aficionado. All we are saying is give Pete some pants.
Pinned
Neil Parmesan
@ktoab.bsky.social
· Jan 9
Thinking of opening a chain of gyms for Christian cultists called "Jehovah's Fitness".
"conjoined twin separator cream" yields zero Google shopping results. Saved you the trouble.
March 11, 2025 at 3:22 AM
"conjoined twin separator cream" yields zero Google shopping results. Saved you the trouble.
Impress your date after they passionately tell you about their thesis regarding the ethical implications of genetic engineering by blurting out "I SEEN A APE".
March 9, 2025 at 12:53 AM
Impress your date after they passionately tell you about their thesis regarding the ethical implications of genetic engineering by blurting out "I SEEN A APE".
I'd rather dump angry beetles down the front of my tighty whities than listen to "Lay Down Sally".
March 1, 2025 at 4:24 AM
I'd rather dump angry beetles down the front of my tighty whities than listen to "Lay Down Sally".
"If I could save bime in a tottle." - dyslexic Jim Croce
February 24, 2025 at 7:33 PM
"If I could save bime in a tottle." - dyslexic Jim Croce
Reposted by Neil Parmesan
here’s to hoping I will not be too much of a dumb fuck today
(morning prayer)
(morning prayer)
February 5, 2025 at 2:03 PM
here’s to hoping I will not be too much of a dumb fuck today
(morning prayer)
(morning prayer)
I wanna live with a cinnamon, girl.
Commas are important.
Commas are important.
February 20, 2025 at 3:51 AM
I wanna live with a cinnamon, girl.
Commas are important.
Commas are important.
Would love to retire but the cruel joke is that I'm now too old to supplement my income by shaking my money maker weekends at The Dirty Manhole.
February 20, 2025 at 3:43 AM
Would love to retire but the cruel joke is that I'm now too old to supplement my income by shaking my money maker weekends at The Dirty Manhole.
Nothing is really inedible if you put your entire being into it.
February 13, 2025 at 3:56 AM
Nothing is really inedible if you put your entire being into it.
You're missing out on a lot of opportunities if you don't keep a bullhorn next to you in the car.
February 11, 2025 at 4:24 PM
You're missing out on a lot of opportunities if you don't keep a bullhorn next to you in the car.
Reposted by Neil Parmesan
I just got served an eviction notice on my blanket fort. The landlord wants to level everything and put in a sectional.
February 9, 2025 at 8:15 PM
I just got served an eviction notice on my blanket fort. The landlord wants to level everything and put in a sectional.
Reposted by Neil Parmesan
Reposted by Neil Parmesan
Drumpf announced 25% tariffs on all steel and aluminum coming into the US Monday, along with retaliatory tariffs to be announced later so if you haven’t gotten your pitchfork yet you might want to run out and grab one.
February 9, 2025 at 10:55 PM
Drumpf announced 25% tariffs on all steel and aluminum coming into the US Monday, along with retaliatory tariffs to be announced later so if you haven’t gotten your pitchfork yet you might want to run out and grab one.
"I guess maybe them biscuits and gravy had turned" thought farmer Jed as he threw up into his straw hat at the Walmart.
February 9, 2025 at 10:21 PM
"I guess maybe them biscuits and gravy had turned" thought farmer Jed as he threw up into his straw hat at the Walmart.
Reposted by Neil Parmesan
Never carry too many grudges at once, make a few trips so you don't throw your back out.
December 24, 2024 at 9:17 AM
Never carry too many grudges at once, make a few trips so you don't throw your back out.
I'll be on the veranda thinking about the atrium and considering improvements to the vestibule.
February 9, 2025 at 5:50 PM
I'll be on the veranda thinking about the atrium and considering improvements to the vestibule.
Reposted by Neil Parmesan
Fuck that guy. Let’s all chip in and buy X. We’ll turn it into a water park or maybe a Costco
February 5, 2025 at 8:30 PM
Fuck that guy. Let’s all chip in and buy X. We’ll turn it into a water park or maybe a Costco
Reposted by Neil Parmesan
We had this guy tune our piano by ear. He spent four years at our house one night.
February 5, 2025 at 4:03 AM
We had this guy tune our piano by ear. He spent four years at our house one night.
Reposted by Neil Parmesan
I'm thinking of having myself coppiced in the early spring and sprouting fresh from the ankles.
February 5, 2025 at 10:20 PM
I'm thinking of having myself coppiced in the early spring and sprouting fresh from the ankles.
Reposted by Neil Parmesan
Got kicked out the coven again for trying to roast marshmallows over the sacrificial fire.
February 5, 2025 at 11:21 AM
Got kicked out the coven again for trying to roast marshmallows over the sacrificial fire.
I'll be attending the big Diction Expo 2025 this weekend. Featured speakers include Bob Dylan and Sylvester Stallone.
February 5, 2025 at 7:41 PM
I'll be attending the big Diction Expo 2025 this weekend. Featured speakers include Bob Dylan and Sylvester Stallone.
I try to avoid politics here but Jesus fucking Christ fuck this South African billionaire Nazi idiot of a president and his idiot chimp boy Trump.
February 5, 2025 at 3:30 AM
I try to avoid politics here but Jesus fucking Christ fuck this South African billionaire Nazi idiot of a president and his idiot chimp boy Trump.
Reposted by Neil Parmesan
She sent me off brand emojis, and now I’m re-evaluating my life
February 4, 2025 at 2:43 PM
She sent me off brand emojis, and now I’m re-evaluating my life