Dick Pussy, Professional Shitkicker
@koyaanisgoatse.bsky.social
5 Seconds of Summary Judgment
Ruin a band with law
FOIA Fighters
FOIA Fighters
September 23, 2025 at 10:56 PM
5 Seconds of Summary Judgment
guy who thinks "the lion sleeps tonight" is an early example of jungle music
Guy who thinks it's jungle music if it's got, like, bird sounds in it
July 17, 2025 at 9:12 PM
guy who thinks "the lion sleeps tonight" is an early example of jungle music
i cum like a water balloon with a hole poked in it
July 10, 2025 at 3:20 AM
i cum like a water balloon with a hole poked in it
i probably think of this tweet at least once a month
July 9, 2025 at 2:15 AM
i probably think of this tweet at least once a month
Reposted by Dick Pussy, Professional Shitkicker
“What’s up?” Oh thanks for asking. I’m making a smell out of my ass that’s like the bottom of a garbage can.
June 30, 2025 at 6:09 PM
“What’s up?” Oh thanks for asking. I’m making a smell out of my ass that’s like the bottom of a garbage can.
"what happened to the antique louis XV chair from 1852?"
"oh, you mean my gooning chair?
"oh, you mean my gooning chair?
When NC's Democratic lt. gov. Rachel Hunt took office in January, she arrived at her historic office—the restored 140-year-old Hawkins-Hartness House—and found it virtually empty. Who had taken all the furniture?
Solving the mystery might mean doing something no one wanted to do: call Mark Robinson
Solving the mystery might mean doing something no one wanted to do: call Mark Robinson
3 NC lieutenant governors, a historic house, and a case of missing furniture
Several state government agencies have been engaged in a low-profile effort to replace furniture taken from the Hawkins-Hartness House, the Raleigh landmark that houses the lieutenant governor's offic...
www.wral.com
June 23, 2025 at 5:05 AM
"what happened to the antique louis XV chair from 1852?"
"oh, you mean my gooning chair?
"oh, you mean my gooning chair?
wife caught me snacking on the flavored condoms again
May 20, 2025 at 4:46 AM
wife caught me snacking on the flavored condoms again
the new pope seems promising but I’m not sure how this will go over
May 8, 2025 at 7:06 PM
the new pope seems promising but I’m not sure how this will go over
A Mrs Dalloway comes across the sky.
It was a bright, cold day in April, and the clocks were striking Mrs Dalloway
Improve a first line by substituting Mrs Dalloway.
"The sweat wis lashing oafay Mrs Dalloway; she wis trembling."
"I was making the rounds of the Sacrifice Poles when I heard that Mrs Dalloway had escaped."
"It was a queer, sultry summer, the summer they electrocuted Mrs Dalloway..."
"The sweat wis lashing oafay Mrs Dalloway; she wis trembling."
"I was making the rounds of the Sacrifice Poles when I heard that Mrs Dalloway had escaped."
"It was a queer, sultry summer, the summer they electrocuted Mrs Dalloway..."
March 31, 2025 at 1:04 AM
A Mrs Dalloway comes across the sky.
very carefully
how the fuck do you milk a chimpanzee
March 14, 2025 at 5:23 PM
very carefully
this kind of walkable, mixed-use urbanism is literally illegal to build in most American cities
February 18, 2025 at 2:49 AM
this kind of walkable, mixed-use urbanism is literally illegal to build in most American cities
no you cannot have free feet pics. and 27 others liked your post
February 16, 2025 at 7:40 PM
no you cannot have free feet pics. and 27 others liked your post
getting the shakes and sweating because I can't say a racial slur
February 9, 2025 at 8:28 AM
getting the shakes and sweating because I can't say a racial slur
[ZZ Top voice]
La Grange, North Carolina
Population: 2,473
Photos from Google Places API
Link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/La_Grange,_North_Carolina
Population: 2,473
Photos from Google Places API
Link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/La_Grange,_North_Carolina
February 8, 2025 at 7:57 PM
[ZZ Top voice]
a big reason why final fantasy 7 holds up is the lessons we can learn from its characters
Cloud: be yourself and you can save the world, even if you're nobody special
Tifa: inner strength is as important as physical strength
Barret: you can solve your problems by attaching a giant gun to your arm
Cloud: be yourself and you can save the world, even if you're nobody special
Tifa: inner strength is as important as physical strength
Barret: you can solve your problems by attaching a giant gun to your arm
February 6, 2025 at 4:37 AM
a big reason why final fantasy 7 holds up is the lessons we can learn from its characters
Cloud: be yourself and you can save the world, even if you're nobody special
Tifa: inner strength is as important as physical strength
Barret: you can solve your problems by attaching a giant gun to your arm
Cloud: be yourself and you can save the world, even if you're nobody special
Tifa: inner strength is as important as physical strength
Barret: you can solve your problems by attaching a giant gun to your arm
used to get my hair cut at a barber shop that had transparent plastic windows in their aprons. it was probably so people could look at their phone during their haircut, but my first thought was that it was there to prevent people from jacking off surreptitiously
February 2, 2025 at 12:07 AM
used to get my hair cut at a barber shop that had transparent plastic windows in their aprons. it was probably so people could look at their phone during their haircut, but my first thought was that it was there to prevent people from jacking off surreptitiously
they should invent a type of jail that you can do from home. heh, that's pretty good. [holds ice pack up to black eye where wife's boyfriend clocked me] owwwie
January 29, 2025 at 6:45 AM
they should invent a type of jail that you can do from home. heh, that's pretty good. [holds ice pack up to black eye where wife's boyfriend clocked me] owwwie
Due to an Abbott and Costello-esque misunderstanding of “Nuuk” during the U.S.-Denmark Greenland negotiations, we all have 90 seconds to find underground shelter
January 24, 2025 at 8:35 PM
Due to an Abbott and Costello-esque misunderstanding of “Nuuk” during the U.S.-Denmark Greenland negotiations, we all have 90 seconds to find underground shelter
a being such as garfield could only have arisen through an intelligent creator. and odie? a vile creature, who could only exist by the hand of Satan
January 19, 2025 at 4:35 AM
a being such as garfield could only have arisen through an intelligent creator. and odie? a vile creature, who could only exist by the hand of Satan
diarrhea
What’s a food that you are absolutely in the minority about disliking. I think my worst one is probably summer rolls. Oh and olives. Unless they’re blue cheese stuffed and in a dirty martini.
December 30, 2024 at 3:20 AM
diarrhea
following nearly 300,000 accounts and beaming psychic damage into my eyes a la clockwork orange and giving myself a new type of TBI
December 28, 2024 at 9:31 PM
following nearly 300,000 accounts and beaming psychic damage into my eyes a la clockwork orange and giving myself a new type of TBI
now introducing the new Ford Bubungo. the Ford Bubungo SUV is the car that's as adventurous as you are. Ford Bubungo: it'll tane you anywhere you want to go.
December 28, 2024 at 7:27 PM
now introducing the new Ford Bubungo. the Ford Bubungo SUV is the car that's as adventurous as you are. Ford Bubungo: it'll tane you anywhere you want to go.
doing Fairytale of New York at karaoke and adding in a bunch of anti-Irish slurs so people know I disapprove of the homophobic one
December 23, 2024 at 12:57 AM
doing Fairytale of New York at karaoke and adding in a bunch of anti-Irish slurs so people know I disapprove of the homophobic one
🚨 🚨 UH OH 🚨 🚨 CUMGRESS 🏛️😩 couldn’t 🙅♂️FINISH🙅♀️ and it’s time 📅😬 for a government 👀🤩🤩SLUTDOWN 😵💫😵💫😵 your FEDS with BENEFITS ✅✅😩👀 NEED somewhere to 🤠 SHACK 🏠🫣 👍👉THEY👈 are 🫠FURLOUGHED 👎🤒but 🙇YOU 💁♀️ can get 🤔🫣 FUR-LAID 🫃😤 📩SEND📫😎THIS😜 to 1️⃣0️⃣ 🗿HOES 🇺🇸 with 💸GUARANTEED BACKPAY💰🤑for 🤣🤣GUARANTEED🥰 BACKSHOTS 🤩🤩😍
December 20, 2024 at 5:13 PM
🚨 🚨 UH OH 🚨 🚨 CUMGRESS 🏛️😩 couldn’t 🙅♂️FINISH🙅♀️ and it’s time 📅😬 for a government 👀🤩🤩SLUTDOWN 😵💫😵💫😵 your FEDS with BENEFITS ✅✅😩👀 NEED somewhere to 🤠 SHACK 🏠🫣 👍👉THEY👈 are 🫠FURLOUGHED 👎🤒but 🙇YOU 💁♀️ can get 🤔🫣 FUR-LAID 🫃😤 📩SEND📫😎THIS😜 to 1️⃣0️⃣ 🗿HOES 🇺🇸 with 💸GUARANTEED BACKPAY💰🤑for 🤣🤣GUARANTEED🥰 BACKSHOTS 🤩🤩😍