If anyone wants to know my age, I am ‘eating a bunch of grapes first thing in the morning will ruin my entire day’ years old.

Step through the doors of the Church of Vampirentology! Chapters 2&3 of CURSES! spinoff ALL WRONG! are up now and FREE to read! Find the visual novel on Storyloom right here: storyloom.com/stories/a35e...

#visualnovel #comedy #fantasy #choices

PRO TIP: if you shout “never surrender” in defiance of authorities, you should do so BEFORE surrendering to said authorities and then— and this is important— DON’T surrender

I wish I was the kind of guy who looked good in a trench coat, but let’s get real, I can’t even pull off shirts

hurriquake™

People who run in mirror mazes as children are the people who “invest” in NFTs as adults

FUN FACT: Jewface made his first appearance in Batman #18 next to The Green Globalist, Media Maid, and The Space Laser

Also, Twitter is a Nazi hellhole

Sen. Feinstein looks like a vampire that's been starved of blood for centuries, but sure, let's put her in charge of counterterrorism and border security and human rights and whatnot

CRICKET: ...and so it is with a profound sense of duty that I stand before you today to announce my candidacy for President...

*crickets*

CRICKET: You're too kind...

*crickets*

CRICKET: Okay calm down...

*crickets*

CRICKET: STOP IT I CAN'T HEAR MYSELF THINK

Hello Jews of Bluesky. If you would like to be included in the new JewSky Plus feed repost this! And if you ever want to be removed from it, undo the repost!

https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:24atmhsxslaeuvf2gcmv7fh3/feed/jewsky-plus

She makes a great few points, no? So I have to ask: What the hell is wrong with half the voters?

Yes, she’s been indicted, but I still can’t imagine a lower point for Jenna Ellis than being farted on twice by Rudy Giuliani at a Michigan election fraud hearing

Look, I’ve lived an excellent life and have few complaints. But sometimes, for any number of reasons that would be unfair to him, I still wish that @neilhimself.neilgaiman.com was my dad

Stir-fried foods are just a part of the left's wok agenda

I went to an AI image generator and all I got was this lousy T-shirt

Turns out Young Buns was a terrible name for my animated feature about teenage rabbits in the old west

Just got my 23andMe results and I am 99% Ashkenazi Jew, 1% everything bagel