Jonathan Eaton
@jonbrak.bsky.social
Artist, filmmaker, podcaster, aging gamer, shaking my fist at clouds
Cactusrodeo.com
Cactusrodeo.com
I've never been more excited to eat tacos than when I skip lunch. Today...I am so excited to eat tacos. It's a Thanksgiving miracle.
November 26, 2025 at 10:11 PM
I've never been more excited to eat tacos than when I skip lunch. Today...I am so excited to eat tacos. It's a Thanksgiving miracle.
Smoked olives have ruined me for regular olives.
November 26, 2025 at 1:38 AM
Smoked olives have ruined me for regular olives.
Welcome to Derry is so dumb. A lot of people seemed to hate Alien Earth, which I thought was fantastic, and they love the It show. So, am I crazy? What's happening?
November 25, 2025 at 6:21 PM
Welcome to Derry is so dumb. A lot of people seemed to hate Alien Earth, which I thought was fantastic, and they love the It show. So, am I crazy? What's happening?
I don't mean to sound hyperbolic, but the worst thing the tech world has ever done to anyone above the age of 35 is make the default scrolling on touch pads mimic phones. I can't rewire my brain, guys.
November 24, 2025 at 2:32 PM
I don't mean to sound hyperbolic, but the worst thing the tech world has ever done to anyone above the age of 35 is make the default scrolling on touch pads mimic phones. I can't rewire my brain, guys.
Remember when Scully canonically got a tramp stamp ouroburos tattoo halfway through season 4 of X-Files? That means she has that tattoo, canonically, through 7 more seasons and 2 movies.
November 12, 2025 at 4:40 AM
Remember when Scully canonically got a tramp stamp ouroburos tattoo halfway through season 4 of X-Files? That means she has that tattoo, canonically, through 7 more seasons and 2 movies.
AND ANOTHER THING Mike Flanagan literally made me gasp in terror by hiding ghosts in plain sight during emotional character driven scenes. Andy Muschietti is just, like, throwing a big goopy naked dude at me yelling "hargleblargle!!" as loud as he can.
November 11, 2025 at 3:41 PM
AND ANOTHER THING Mike Flanagan literally made me gasp in terror by hiding ghosts in plain sight during emotional character driven scenes. Andy Muschietti is just, like, throwing a big goopy naked dude at me yelling "hargleblargle!!" as loud as he can.
Andy Muschietti's entire vision of horror seems to just be whatever bullshit passes for creepy pasta. If I have to see one more cgi monster with real long skinny legs and arms and gross teeth I'm going to punch a hole in the wall.
November 11, 2025 at 3:39 PM
Andy Muschietti's entire vision of horror seems to just be whatever bullshit passes for creepy pasta. If I have to see one more cgi monster with real long skinny legs and arms and gross teeth I'm going to punch a hole in the wall.
If I had the time and motivation, I'd write an essay on the Horror aesthetics of Mike Flanagan vs Andy Muschietti. Specifically, why Flanagan knows how to present something horrific to us, while Muschietti knows what perpetually online 10 year olds think is scary.
November 11, 2025 at 3:38 PM
If I had the time and motivation, I'd write an essay on the Horror aesthetics of Mike Flanagan vs Andy Muschietti. Specifically, why Flanagan knows how to present something horrific to us, while Muschietti knows what perpetually online 10 year olds think is scary.
I'm watching Silent Hill Revelation because I'm furloughed and a masochist, and my favorite thing about bad video game adaptations is when the person making it says they're a huge fan of the game series and reassures fans it'll be faithful, and then they take a massive shit on the franchise.
November 4, 2025 at 1:54 PM
I'm watching Silent Hill Revelation because I'm furloughed and a masochist, and my favorite thing about bad video game adaptations is when the person making it says they're a huge fan of the game series and reassures fans it'll be faithful, and then they take a massive shit on the franchise.
I've been watching Rocky Horror for most of my almost 41 years on earth, and I only just now wondered if "didn't we pass a castle a few miles back?" was supposed to be funny considering how much more likely you are to pass a castle in England (where Rocky Horror was written)
November 1, 2025 at 1:11 AM
I've been watching Rocky Horror for most of my almost 41 years on earth, and I only just now wondered if "didn't we pass a castle a few miles back?" was supposed to be funny considering how much more likely you are to pass a castle in England (where Rocky Horror was written)
I've been filling the void inside me currently with, among other things, video games! Everyone at Bethesda who worked on Starfield should play Outer Worlds 2 and then have to write and essay on what they did that was bad
October 30, 2025 at 1:47 PM
I've been filling the void inside me currently with, among other things, video games! Everyone at Bethesda who worked on Starfield should play Outer Worlds 2 and then have to write and essay on what they did that was bad
I would like the government to reopen please, so (among other things) I can just, like, do my job and get paid. I'm pretty tired of living in survival mode and feeling no joy.
October 29, 2025 at 4:59 PM
I would like the government to reopen please, so (among other things) I can just, like, do my job and get paid. I'm pretty tired of living in survival mode and feeling no joy.
I cannot listen to a single bro (there are no women saying this) tell me how great AI is when all of my devices barely work anymore. Sorry you can't write a screenplay because you're untalented. AI won't make you successful, just fucking dumber.
October 29, 2025 at 12:05 AM
I cannot listen to a single bro (there are no women saying this) tell me how great AI is when all of my devices barely work anymore. Sorry you can't write a screenplay because you're untalented. AI won't make you successful, just fucking dumber.
Not only does AI solve nothing and makes everything worse, but ALL technology is slowly sliding backwards because there's no more humans dedicated to maintaining it. But hey at least everything is also more expensive.
October 29, 2025 at 12:04 AM
Not only does AI solve nothing and makes everything worse, but ALL technology is slowly sliding backwards because there's no more humans dedicated to maintaining it. But hey at least everything is also more expensive.
I literally have to constantly restart my phone because basic shit like Google and the internet doesn't work. I would love for every single tech company to maintain their products instead of sucking AI's dick.
October 29, 2025 at 12:02 AM
I literally have to constantly restart my phone because basic shit like Google and the internet doesn't work. I would love for every single tech company to maintain their products instead of sucking AI's dick.
I'll never be unamused at dudes who are SUPER INTO GRILLING and then you find out they use propane. Yes, I am judgemental about this.
October 4, 2025 at 4:48 PM
I'll never be unamused at dudes who are SUPER INTO GRILLING and then you find out they use propane. Yes, I am judgemental about this.
1 month later, a new and delicious fermented hot sauce is made!
September 25, 2025 at 2:59 PM
1 month later, a new and delicious fermented hot sauce is made!
How do I relax? Oh you know, playing Silent Hill f by myself in the dark and keeping my heart rate elevated for extended periods of time.
#silenthill #silenthillf
#silenthill #silenthillf
September 25, 2025 at 2:56 PM
How do I relax? Oh you know, playing Silent Hill f by myself in the dark and keeping my heart rate elevated for extended periods of time.
#silenthill #silenthillf
#silenthill #silenthillf
I feel like the best indicator the economy is bad is that there's a ton of 12 foot skeletons at Home Depot. That shit sells out in JULY
September 19, 2025 at 4:55 PM
I feel like the best indicator the economy is bad is that there's a ton of 12 foot skeletons at Home Depot. That shit sells out in JULY
I'd like to personally thank Denis Villeneuve for having to explain to other nerds that Dune just isn't my thing for the rest of my fucking life.
September 9, 2025 at 5:51 PM
I'd like to personally thank Denis Villeneuve for having to explain to other nerds that Dune just isn't my thing for the rest of my fucking life.
Yeah, but how do YOU do freelance work? Not with a pickle and a martini?!
September 8, 2025 at 10:32 PM
Yeah, but how do YOU do freelance work? Not with a pickle and a martini?!
As Weezer would say, crab at the booty, taint gonna do no good
September 8, 2025 at 8:57 PM
As Weezer would say, crab at the booty, taint gonna do no good
"Man I love your hookah pipe, where did you get it?"
"...a gas station"
"...a gas station"
September 6, 2025 at 3:31 PM
"Man I love your hookah pipe, where did you get it?"
"...a gas station"
"...a gas station"
This is such a mild take and I'm sure I'm not the first person to say this, but The Black Parade was Bohemian Rhapsody for millennials.
September 5, 2025 at 9:23 PM
This is such a mild take and I'm sure I'm not the first person to say this, but The Black Parade was Bohemian Rhapsody for millennials.
Also i never went to summer camp, either as a kid or a counselor, but all movies and TV have led me to believe every single person there is fucking. How true is that?
August 28, 2025 at 1:42 PM
Also i never went to summer camp, either as a kid or a counselor, but all movies and TV have led me to believe every single person there is fucking. How true is that?