Julie Harris
@jhwordsmith.bsky.social
Relationship Scientist | TEDx Speaker (TED.com Editor’s Pick) | Author, Editor & Experience Designer | https://consciousrelationshipdesign.substack.com/
"We're not really diverse" appeared on a sticky note during one of my workshops last week.
Uncomfortable? Yes. Important? Absolutely.
This is what Brené Brown calls "rumbling" - having the brave conversations instead of avoiding them.
That's where transformation happens.
And that's what I do.
Uncomfortable? Yes. Important? Absolutely.
This is what Brené Brown calls "rumbling" - having the brave conversations instead of avoiding them.
That's where transformation happens.
And that's what I do.
a quote about a single idea can transform a world
ALT: a quote about a single idea can transform a world
media.tenor.com
November 10, 2025 at 9:14 AM
"We're not really diverse" appeared on a sticky note during one of my workshops last week.
Uncomfortable? Yes. Important? Absolutely.
This is what Brené Brown calls "rumbling" - having the brave conversations instead of avoiding them.
That's where transformation happens.
And that's what I do.
Uncomfortable? Yes. Important? Absolutely.
This is what Brené Brown calls "rumbling" - having the brave conversations instead of avoiding them.
That's where transformation happens.
And that's what I do.
Designing relationships ≈ designing anything worth keeping: prototype, test, learn, repeat. ✍️💛
#ConsciousRelationshipDesign
#ConsciousRelationshipDesign
November 7, 2025 at 10:38 AM
Designing relationships ≈ designing anything worth keeping: prototype, test, learn, repeat. ✍️💛
#ConsciousRelationshipDesign
#ConsciousRelationshipDesign
We design our work, our homes, our time — why not our relationships?
Conscious Relationship Design Coaching = curiosity, communication, evolution. 💛
3 free 30-minute sessions next week. DM “design” for info.
#ConsciousRelationshipDesign #Coaching
Conscious Relationship Design Coaching = curiosity, communication, evolution. 💛
3 free 30-minute sessions next week. DM “design” for info.
#ConsciousRelationshipDesign #Coaching
November 6, 2025 at 10:00 AM
We design our work, our homes, our time — why not our relationships?
Conscious Relationship Design Coaching = curiosity, communication, evolution. 💛
3 free 30-minute sessions next week. DM “design” for info.
#ConsciousRelationshipDesign #Coaching
Conscious Relationship Design Coaching = curiosity, communication, evolution. 💛
3 free 30-minute sessions next week. DM “design” for info.
#ConsciousRelationshipDesign #Coaching
Writing is research, listening, sailing, walking, disappearing — then a page appears. ✍️💛
#WritingCommunity #ConsciousRelationshipDesign #BookWriting
#WritingCommunity #ConsciousRelationshipDesign #BookWriting
November 5, 2025 at 1:32 PM
Writing is research, listening, sailing, walking, disappearing — then a page appears. ✍️💛
#WritingCommunity #ConsciousRelationshipDesign #BookWriting
#WritingCommunity #ConsciousRelationshipDesign #BookWriting
Editing isn’t grammar — it’s diplomacy.
Dozens of voices, one shared rhythm. 🌍✍️
Seeking someone to work on a complicated, multi-voiced project? DM me.
🥷
#Editing #Communication
Dozens of voices, one shared rhythm. 🌍✍️
Seeking someone to work on a complicated, multi-voiced project? DM me.
🥷
#Editing #Communication
November 3, 2025 at 11:00 AM
Editing isn’t grammar — it’s diplomacy.
Dozens of voices, one shared rhythm. 🌍✍️
Seeking someone to work on a complicated, multi-voiced project? DM me.
🥷
#Editing #Communication
Dozens of voices, one shared rhythm. 🌍✍️
Seeking someone to work on a complicated, multi-voiced project? DM me.
🥷
#Editing #Communication
“As the digital and human realms intertwine, the potential for AI to enrich our relationships is profound — and imminent.” 🤖💙
consciousrelationshipdesign...
#Writing #ConsciousRelationshipDesign #FutureOfLove
consciousrelationshipdesign...
#Writing #ConsciousRelationshipDesign #FutureOfLove
October 31, 2025 at 10:00 AM
“As the digital and human realms intertwine, the potential for AI to enrich our relationships is profound — and imminent.” 🤖💙
consciousrelationshipdesign...
#Writing #ConsciousRelationshipDesign #FutureOfLove
consciousrelationshipdesign...
#Writing #ConsciousRelationshipDesign #FutureOfLove
FOCUS • SCOPE • BOUNDARIES
When those align, you don’t just do more — you matter more. 🌿
DM “clarity” for next week’s free 30-minute diagnostic sessions. Limited to 3.
#Productivity #DeepWork
When those align, you don’t just do more — you matter more. 🌿
DM “clarity” for next week’s free 30-minute diagnostic sessions. Limited to 3.
#Productivity #DeepWork
October 30, 2025 at 10:00 AM
FOCUS • SCOPE • BOUNDARIES
When those align, you don’t just do more — you matter more. 🌿
DM “clarity” for next week’s free 30-minute diagnostic sessions. Limited to 3.
#Productivity #DeepWork
When those align, you don’t just do more — you matter more. 🌿
DM “clarity” for next week’s free 30-minute diagnostic sessions. Limited to 3.
#Productivity #DeepWork
Workshop prep = creative chaos in disguise.
Paris 7 Nov 💛
Needing a workshop to transform your team or surface and test your ideas? DM me. 😀
#Facilitation #DesignThinking #Cocreation #Collaboration
Paris 7 Nov 💛
Needing a workshop to transform your team or surface and test your ideas? DM me. 😀
#Facilitation #DesignThinking #Cocreation #Collaboration
October 29, 2025 at 9:58 AM
Workshop prep = creative chaos in disguise.
Paris 7 Nov 💛
Needing a workshop to transform your team or surface and test your ideas? DM me. 😀
#Facilitation #DesignThinking #Cocreation #Collaboration
Paris 7 Nov 💛
Needing a workshop to transform your team or surface and test your ideas? DM me. 😀
#Facilitation #DesignThinking #Cocreation #Collaboration
Wrapped the OECD Government at a Glance Southeast Asia 2025 report a week or so ago 🌏
150 pages · 80 figures and tables · one all-nighter.
Editing = design in service of clarity. ✍️ #EditingLife #OECD
150 pages · 80 figures and tables · one all-nighter.
Editing = design in service of clarity. ✍️ #EditingLife #OECD
October 27, 2025 at 11:00 AM
Wrapped the OECD Government at a Glance Southeast Asia 2025 report a week or so ago 🌏
150 pages · 80 figures and tables · one all-nighter.
Editing = design in service of clarity. ✍️ #EditingLife #OECD
150 pages · 80 figures and tables · one all-nighter.
Editing = design in service of clarity. ✍️ #EditingLife #OECD
Writing a book on Conscious Relationship Design - how we can design relationships and connection on purpose.
Looking for a few alpha readers.
Curious? DM me. 📚💛 #WritingCommunity #ConsciousRelationshipDesign
Photo by Sincerely Media on Unsplash.
Looking for a few alpha readers.
Curious? DM me. 📚💛 #WritingCommunity #ConsciousRelationshipDesign
Photo by Sincerely Media on Unsplash.
October 24, 2025 at 9:00 AM
Writing a book on Conscious Relationship Design - how we can design relationships and connection on purpose.
Looking for a few alpha readers.
Curious? DM me. 📚💛 #WritingCommunity #ConsciousRelationshipDesign
Photo by Sincerely Media on Unsplash.
Looking for a few alpha readers.
Curious? DM me. 📚💛 #WritingCommunity #ConsciousRelationshipDesign
Photo by Sincerely Media on Unsplash.
Prepping a workshop = curating energy.
Paris, 7 Nov → playing with goal and vision discovery with practical, concrete outcomes. 🎨🧠
#Facilitation #AWG
Photo by Walls.io on Unsplash.
Paris, 7 Nov → playing with goal and vision discovery with practical, concrete outcomes. 🎨🧠
#Facilitation #AWG
Photo by Walls.io on Unsplash.
October 23, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Prepping a workshop = curating energy.
Paris, 7 Nov → playing with goal and vision discovery with practical, concrete outcomes. 🎨🧠
#Facilitation #AWG
Photo by Walls.io on Unsplash.
Paris, 7 Nov → playing with goal and vision discovery with practical, concrete outcomes. 🎨🧠
#Facilitation #AWG
Photo by Walls.io on Unsplash.
Most of us are severely underqualified listeners - not because we don't hear words, but because we miss what lives in the spaces between them.
This month: what neurodivergent relationship patterns can teach us about conscious design. 🔗 open.substack.com/pub/consc...
Alpha readers wanted - DM me.
This month: what neurodivergent relationship patterns can teach us about conscious design. 🔗 open.substack.com/pub/consc...
Alpha readers wanted - DM me.
October 22, 2025 at 10:02 AM
Most of us are severely underqualified listeners - not because we don't hear words, but because we miss what lives in the spaces between them.
This month: what neurodivergent relationship patterns can teach us about conscious design. 🔗 open.substack.com/pub/consc...
Alpha readers wanted - DM me.
This month: what neurodivergent relationship patterns can teach us about conscious design. 🔗 open.substack.com/pub/consc...
Alpha readers wanted - DM me.
Just edited a book with nearly 280,000 teachers' voices from 50 countries.
Editing = the art of quiet translation. 🌍✏️ #EditingLife #OECD #Teachers #TALIS
www.oecd.org/en/publicati...
Editing = the art of quiet translation. 🌍✏️ #EditingLife #OECD #Teachers #TALIS
www.oecd.org/en/publicati...
Results from TALIS 2024
The OECD Teaching and Learning International Survey (TALIS) is the world’s largest survey of teachers and principals. In 2024, educators from 55 education systems provided information about what they ...
www.oecd.org
October 20, 2025 at 10:52 AM
Just edited a book with nearly 280,000 teachers' voices from 50 countries.
Editing = the art of quiet translation. 🌍✏️ #EditingLife #OECD #Teachers #TALIS
www.oecd.org/en/publicati...
Editing = the art of quiet translation. 🌍✏️ #EditingLife #OECD #Teachers #TALIS
www.oecd.org/en/publicati...
🎯 My TEDx talk hit #1 Editor's Pick last week!
25k+ views in 6 days.
The response? People are thinking about how they can DESIGN their relationships instead of accepting default scripts.
Watch: youtu.be/USeLTbvHdnw
#ConsciousRelationshipDesign #TED #Relationships
TED: Ideas Change Everything
25k+ views in 6 days.
The response? People are thinking about how they can DESIGN their relationships instead of accepting default scripts.
Watch: youtu.be/USeLTbvHdnw
#ConsciousRelationshipDesign #TED #Relationships
TED: Ideas Change Everything
Why we need to talk about sexual desires | Julie Harris | TEDxMünster
YouTube video by TEDx Talks
youtu.be
September 1, 2025 at 9:55 AM
🎯 My TEDx talk hit #1 Editor's Pick last week!
25k+ views in 6 days.
The response? People are thinking about how they can DESIGN their relationships instead of accepting default scripts.
Watch: youtu.be/USeLTbvHdnw
#ConsciousRelationshipDesign #TED #Relationships
TED: Ideas Change Everything
25k+ views in 6 days.
The response? People are thinking about how they can DESIGN their relationships instead of accepting default scripts.
Watch: youtu.be/USeLTbvHdnw
#ConsciousRelationshipDesign #TED #Relationships
TED: Ideas Change Everything
You don't love all your partners equally.
You don't give all your friends equal attention.
You never will.
Stop pretending.
Start designing for it.
consciousrelationshipdesign.substack.com/p/who-gets-y... #consciousrelationshipdesign
You don't give all your friends equal attention.
You never will.
Stop pretending.
Start designing for it.
consciousrelationshipdesign.substack.com/p/who-gets-y... #consciousrelationshipdesign
August 16, 2025 at 4:26 PM
You don't love all your partners equally.
You don't give all your friends equal attention.
You never will.
Stop pretending.
Start designing for it.
consciousrelationshipdesign.substack.com/p/who-gets-y... #consciousrelationshipdesign
You don't give all your friends equal attention.
You never will.
Stop pretending.
Start designing for it.
consciousrelationshipdesign.substack.com/p/who-gets-y... #consciousrelationshipdesign
Me: gives TEDx talk about desire & #consciousrelationshipdesign
Life: "Cool. Now do it."
Me: "Wait, what—"
Life: "DO. IT."
[12 mos. of spectacular failing ensues]
Anyway, I'm back with stories and a huge wallop of humility.
Full debrief: consciousrelationshipdesign.substack.com/p/ive-been-f...
Life: "Cool. Now do it."
Me: "Wait, what—"
Life: "DO. IT."
[12 mos. of spectacular failing ensues]
Anyway, I'm back with stories and a huge wallop of humility.
Full debrief: consciousrelationshipdesign.substack.com/p/ive-been-f...
I've been failing ... spectacularly
And ... I'm back, with stories from the field, to tell
consciousrelationshipdesign.substack.com
July 25, 2025 at 9:36 AM
Me: gives TEDx talk about desire & #consciousrelationshipdesign
Life: "Cool. Now do it."
Me: "Wait, what—"
Life: "DO. IT."
[12 mos. of spectacular failing ensues]
Anyway, I'm back with stories and a huge wallop of humility.
Full debrief: consciousrelationshipdesign.substack.com/p/ive-been-f...
Life: "Cool. Now do it."
Me: "Wait, what—"
Life: "DO. IT."
[12 mos. of spectacular failing ensues]
Anyway, I'm back with stories and a huge wallop of humility.
Full debrief: consciousrelationshipdesign.substack.com/p/ive-been-f...
Bella De Paulo’s latest piece isn’t shocking. It raises the exact questions we explore in Conscious Relationship Design.
What if marriage were not the pinnacle, a resolution, an endpoint?
medium.com/fourth-wave/year...
#CRD #BellaDePaulo #SingleAtHeart
What if marriage were not the pinnacle, a resolution, an endpoint?
medium.com/fourth-wave/year...
#CRD #BellaDePaulo #SingleAtHeart
Year after Year, Married People Become Less Satisfied with Life
Are they missing their single lives?
medium.com
May 31, 2025 at 9:00 AM
Bella De Paulo’s latest piece isn’t shocking. It raises the exact questions we explore in Conscious Relationship Design.
What if marriage were not the pinnacle, a resolution, an endpoint?
medium.com/fourth-wave/year...
#CRD #BellaDePaulo #SingleAtHeart
What if marriage were not the pinnacle, a resolution, an endpoint?
medium.com/fourth-wave/year...
#CRD #BellaDePaulo #SingleAtHeart
Reposted by Julie Harris
New study suggests that individuals who practice BDSM tend to have healthier psychological profiles on average than non-practitioners, exhibiting more secure attachment styles, lower rejection sensitivity, and higher levels of well-being. www.psypost.org/bdsm-practit...
BDSM practitioners exhibit higher secure attachment and lower neuroticism
A new study from Spain replicates earlier findings showing BDSM practitioners score higher in psychological well-being and secure attachment.
www.psypost.org
May 28, 2025 at 11:27 AM
New study suggests that individuals who practice BDSM tend to have healthier psychological profiles on average than non-practitioners, exhibiting more secure attachment styles, lower rejection sensitivity, and higher levels of well-being. www.psypost.org/bdsm-practit...
Currently absconding to a secret hideaway and an experiment: a 1-week silent #writing retreat. What would you like me to write about next:
Navigating ethical non-monogamy: Its very best, its very worst
Visiting an afternoon libertine club in Paris
Women's play: In private and public
#CRD #research
Navigating ethical non-monogamy: Its very best, its very worst
Visiting an afternoon libertine club in Paris
Women's play: In private and public
#CRD #research
May 24, 2025 at 9:00 AM
Reposted by Julie Harris
The number of adult virgins is at a record high. Many of these folks would like to be having sex, but cannot find a partner--they are involuntarily celibate. In today's show, we're diving into the psychology of incels with @williamcostello.bsky.social www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/podcast...
Episode 399: The Psychology of Incels (Essential Listen) - Sex and Psychology
Incels are a growing segment of the population, but they aren’t exactly who we think they are. In this episode, we go inside the minds of incels.
www.sexandpsychology.com
May 23, 2025 at 1:08 PM
The number of adult virgins is at a record high. Many of these folks would like to be having sex, but cannot find a partner--they are involuntarily celibate. In today's show, we're diving into the psychology of incels with @williamcostello.bsky.social www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/podcast...
Marriage hack: Live on different continents 🌏
She moved 10,000 miles away from her husband at 56.
15 years later? Still happily married.
Would you? Could you?
Read more and comment here! substack.com/@jhwordsmith...
She moved 10,000 miles away from her husband at 56.
15 years later? Still happily married.
Would you? Could you?
Read more and comment here! substack.com/@jhwordsmith...
April 29, 2025 at 12:49 PM
Marriage hack: Live on different continents 🌏
She moved 10,000 miles away from her husband at 56.
15 years later? Still happily married.
Would you? Could you?
Read more and comment here! substack.com/@jhwordsmith...
She moved 10,000 miles away from her husband at 56.
15 years later? Still happily married.
Would you? Could you?
Read more and comment here! substack.com/@jhwordsmith...
💡What if marriage came with an upgrade option? We wrote a 20‑yr re‑eval clause—now 4‑ & 5‑yr “fixed‑term” contracts are buzzing.
Forever isn’t automatic; it’s designed.
How long would yours be? 👉 substack.com/profile/2949...
#ConsciousRelationshipDesign #MarriageDesign
Forever isn’t automatic; it’s designed.
How long would yours be? 👉 substack.com/profile/2949...
#ConsciousRelationshipDesign #MarriageDesign
April 20, 2025 at 12:07 PM
💡What if marriage came with an upgrade option? We wrote a 20‑yr re‑eval clause—now 4‑ & 5‑yr “fixed‑term” contracts are buzzing.
Forever isn’t automatic; it’s designed.
How long would yours be? 👉 substack.com/profile/2949...
#ConsciousRelationshipDesign #MarriageDesign
Forever isn’t automatic; it’s designed.
How long would yours be? 👉 substack.com/profile/2949...
#ConsciousRelationshipDesign #MarriageDesign
🤖❤️ What if AI could spot the tiny cracks in your relationship before you do? (No, this isn't dystopian - it's weirdly romantic)
Just designed the goofiest 7-day experiment: analyse your texts, add one micro-ritual, watch your connection shift. Consent required.
substack.com/@jhwordsmith...
Just designed the goofiest 7-day experiment: analyse your texts, add one micro-ritual, watch your connection shift. Consent required.
substack.com/@jhwordsmith...
Julie Harris on Substack
The One-Week AI Relationship Experiment That's Actually Fun (Promise!)
Let's debunk the dystopian elephant in the room first: no, this isn't about AI spying on your love life or replacing human conne...
substack.com
April 19, 2025 at 6:54 PM
🤖❤️ What if AI could spot the tiny cracks in your relationship before you do? (No, this isn't dystopian - it's weirdly romantic)
Just designed the goofiest 7-day experiment: analyse your texts, add one micro-ritual, watch your connection shift. Consent required.
substack.com/@jhwordsmith...
Just designed the goofiest 7-day experiment: analyse your texts, add one micro-ritual, watch your connection shift. Consent required.
substack.com/@jhwordsmith...
🔍 Which of these 9 relationship trends are reshaping how we love in 2025?
From intentional dating to human-AI connections, the way we build relationships is evolving faster than ever.
Dive into the full breakdown on Substack ↓
substack.com/profile/2949...
#CRD #RelationshipTrends
From intentional dating to human-AI connections, the way we build relationships is evolving faster than ever.
Dive into the full breakdown on Substack ↓
substack.com/profile/2949...
#CRD #RelationshipTrends
Julie Harris on Substack
🔥 9 Relationship Trends Reshaping How We Connect in 2025 🔥
Curious which of these are directly connected to Conscious Relationship Design? (Hint: It's more than you might think!)
Intentional Dating ...
substack.com
April 11, 2025 at 6:33 PM
🔍 Which of these 9 relationship trends are reshaping how we love in 2025?
From intentional dating to human-AI connections, the way we build relationships is evolving faster than ever.
Dive into the full breakdown on Substack ↓
substack.com/profile/2949...
#CRD #RelationshipTrends
From intentional dating to human-AI connections, the way we build relationships is evolving faster than ever.
Dive into the full breakdown on Substack ↓
substack.com/profile/2949...
#CRD #RelationshipTrends
Reposted by Julie Harris
Research finds that intelligence and kindness are the most desired traits in a partner, even in comparison to beauty, money, or health. This is true for both men and women and across sexual orientations. www.psypost.org/intelligence...
Intelligence and kindness are the most valued traits in romantic partners, study finds
New research finds that intelligence and kindness are the most valued traits in a partner, overshadowing physical attractiveness, health, and socioeconomic status.
www.psypost.org
April 6, 2025 at 7:47 PM
Research finds that intelligence and kindness are the most desired traits in a partner, even in comparison to beauty, money, or health. This is true for both men and women and across sexual orientations. www.psypost.org/intelligence...