Jason Roeder
@jasonroeder.bsky.social
Former senior editor, The Onion.
jasonroeder.net
Out now! "Griefstrike! The Ultimate Guide To Mourning."
McSweeney's: http://shorturl.at/bmqOY
Amazon: http://shorturl.at/fjPS7
jasonroeder.net
Out now! "Griefstrike! The Ultimate Guide To Mourning."
McSweeney's: http://shorturl.at/bmqOY
Amazon: http://shorturl.at/fjPS7
Reposted by Jason Roeder
Chuck Schumer Helps Pull Democrats Back From Brink Of Courage
November 10, 2025 at 5:02 AM
Chuck Schumer Helps Pull Democrats Back From Brink Of Courage
There's always one of him...
October 31, 2025 at 3:31 PM
There's always one of him...
Reposted by Jason Roeder
Q: Do you feel Israel was justified with striking when it did?
TRUMP: Striking where?
Q: In Gaza. Today. And overnight.
TRUMP: I'd have to get back to you on that
TRUMP: Striking where?
Q: In Gaza. Today. And overnight.
TRUMP: I'd have to get back to you on that
October 20, 2025 at 1:17 AM
Q: Do you feel Israel was justified with striking when it did?
TRUMP: Striking where?
Q: In Gaza. Today. And overnight.
TRUMP: I'd have to get back to you on that
TRUMP: Striking where?
Q: In Gaza. Today. And overnight.
TRUMP: I'd have to get back to you on that
Reposted by Jason Roeder
Every Republican on the Sunday shows should be forced to watch the Air Feces One video and then be asked, “Is the President sane?”
October 19, 2025 at 4:01 AM
Every Republican on the Sunday shows should be forced to watch the Air Feces One video and then be asked, “Is the President sane?”
Reposted by Jason Roeder
Make your plans for #NoKings. October 18th. Free speech is action. Please join in. You'll see me at one of the events.
www.nokings.org
www.nokings.org
No Kings
As the president escalates his authoritarian power grab, the NO KINGS non-violent movement continues to rise stronger. We are united once again to remind the world: America has No Kings and the power ...
www.nokings.org
October 11, 2025 at 1:18 PM
Make your plans for #NoKings. October 18th. Free speech is action. Please join in. You'll see me at one of the events.
www.nokings.org
www.nokings.org
It is 2040.
I'm in a warehouse ventilated by one window fan, keying every joke I've ever written into an AI called Yuk. A track-mounted robotic arm arrives at my workstation to shoot a nutrient gel directly down my throat. I'm paid monthly in access to premium pornography and DraftKings credits.
I'm in a warehouse ventilated by one window fan, keying every joke I've ever written into an AI called Yuk. A track-mounted robotic arm arrives at my workstation to shoot a nutrient gel directly down my throat. I'm paid monthly in access to premium pornography and DraftKings credits.
October 7, 2025 at 6:23 PM
It is 2040.
I'm in a warehouse ventilated by one window fan, keying every joke I've ever written into an AI called Yuk. A track-mounted robotic arm arrives at my workstation to shoot a nutrient gel directly down my throat. I'm paid monthly in access to premium pornography and DraftKings credits.
I'm in a warehouse ventilated by one window fan, keying every joke I've ever written into an AI called Yuk. A track-mounted robotic arm arrives at my workstation to shoot a nutrient gel directly down my throat. I'm paid monthly in access to premium pornography and DraftKings credits.
Reposted by Jason Roeder
Last week Jesse Watters spoke to man named Eric who claimed he was formerly a member of antifa. Two years ago Watters interviewed Ramon "Mundo" Mendoza, a former Mexican Mafia member. Some folks thought the men looked similar. This is a side by side comparison. 🤷♀️
October 6, 2025 at 7:45 AM
Last week Jesse Watters spoke to man named Eric who claimed he was formerly a member of antifa. Two years ago Watters interviewed Ramon "Mundo" Mendoza, a former Mexican Mafia member. Some folks thought the men looked similar. This is a side by side comparison. 🤷♀️
Reposted by Jason Roeder
A look at the new Programme 4 telecast, coming to a candlelit lounge or paneled rumpus room near you!
October 3, 2025 at 1:11 PM
A look at the new Programme 4 telecast, coming to a candlelit lounge or paneled rumpus room near you!
Reposted by Jason Roeder
MADELEINE DEAN: The president is unhinged. He's unwell
JOHNSON: A lot of folks on your side are too
D: Oh my god, please. That performance in front of the generals?
J: I didn't see it
D: It's so dangerous! Our allies are looking elsewhere. Our enemies are laughing. You have a POTUS who's unwell.
JOHNSON: A lot of folks on your side are too
D: Oh my god, please. That performance in front of the generals?
J: I didn't see it
D: It's so dangerous! Our allies are looking elsewhere. Our enemies are laughing. You have a POTUS who's unwell.
October 2, 2025 at 12:40 AM
MADELEINE DEAN: The president is unhinged. He's unwell
JOHNSON: A lot of folks on your side are too
D: Oh my god, please. That performance in front of the generals?
J: I didn't see it
D: It's so dangerous! Our allies are looking elsewhere. Our enemies are laughing. You have a POTUS who's unwell.
JOHNSON: A lot of folks on your side are too
D: Oh my god, please. That performance in front of the generals?
J: I didn't see it
D: It's so dangerous! Our allies are looking elsewhere. Our enemies are laughing. You have a POTUS who's unwell.
Dave Chappelle takes a long, meaningful drag on his cigarette:
"Crazy out there, man, crazy. All I know is that virtue can only prevail over wickedness and idolatry if we heed at all times the wisdom of His Royal Highness Mohammed bin Salman."
"Crazy out there, man, crazy. All I know is that virtue can only prevail over wickedness and idolatry if we heed at all times the wisdom of His Royal Highness Mohammed bin Salman."
September 30, 2025 at 6:05 PM
Dave Chappelle takes a long, meaningful drag on his cigarette:
"Crazy out there, man, crazy. All I know is that virtue can only prevail over wickedness and idolatry if we heed at all times the wisdom of His Royal Highness Mohammed bin Salman."
"Crazy out there, man, crazy. All I know is that virtue can only prevail over wickedness and idolatry if we heed at all times the wisdom of His Royal Highness Mohammed bin Salman."
Reposted by Jason Roeder
Trump comments on the opposition: "I thought [I] would be met with fury on the left, but they're sort of giving up."
"I really thought that we were gonna have to sort of fight it through. There's been no fight."
"I really thought that we were gonna have to sort of fight it through. There's been no fight."
September 30, 2025 at 5:08 PM
Trump comments on the opposition: "I thought [I] would be met with fury on the left, but they're sort of giving up."
"I really thought that we were gonna have to sort of fight it through. There's been no fight."
"I really thought that we were gonna have to sort of fight it through. There's been no fight."
Reposted by Jason Roeder
Pete Hegseth accidentally flipping a skateboard into his nuts on live TV
September 29, 2025 at 1:48 PM
Pete Hegseth accidentally flipping a skateboard into his nuts on live TV
Reposted by Jason Roeder
AOC: We should be clear about who Charlie Kirk was. A man who believed that the civil rights act that granted black Americans the right to vote was a mistake… His rhetoric and beliefs were ignorant, uneducated, and sought to disenfranchise millions of Americans.
September 19, 2025 at 4:19 PM
AOC: We should be clear about who Charlie Kirk was. A man who believed that the civil rights act that granted black Americans the right to vote was a mistake… His rhetoric and beliefs were ignorant, uneducated, and sought to disenfranchise millions of Americans.
Reposted by Jason Roeder
Q: Do you think it would've been fitting to lower the flags to half staff when Melissa Hortman, the Minnesota House Speaker, was gunned down by an assassin?
TRUMP: I'm not familiar. The who?
TRUMP: I'm not familiar. The who?
September 15, 2025 at 9:35 PM
Q: Do you think it would've been fitting to lower the flags to half staff when Melissa Hortman, the Minnesota House Speaker, was gunned down by an assassin?
TRUMP: I'm not familiar. The who?
TRUMP: I'm not familiar. The who?
Reposted by Jason Roeder
Elizabeth Warren on people who say Dems needs to tone down their rhetoric: "Oh, please. Why don't you start with the president of the United States? And every ugly meme he's posted and every ugly word."
September 11, 2025 at 12:28 AM
Elizabeth Warren on people who say Dems needs to tone down their rhetoric: "Oh, please. Why don't you start with the president of the United States? And every ugly meme he's posted and every ugly word."
Reposted by Jason Roeder
Periodic reminder that we at @mcsweeneys.net ’s have no writing staff (save for the great @shadesofgreaves.bsky.social), and rely on unsolicited submissions for our humor & satire. We respond to each every submission within 7.39 days (but usually much sooner).
www.mcsweeneys.net/pages/guidel...
www.mcsweeneys.net/pages/guidel...
Guidelines for McSweeney’s Internet Tendency Submissions - McSweeney’s Internet Tendency
www.mcsweeneys.net
September 8, 2025 at 11:37 PM
Periodic reminder that we at @mcsweeneys.net ’s have no writing staff (save for the great @shadesofgreaves.bsky.social), and rely on unsolicited submissions for our humor & satire. We respond to each every submission within 7.39 days (but usually much sooner).
www.mcsweeneys.net/pages/guidel...
www.mcsweeneys.net/pages/guidel...
Reposted by Jason Roeder
Protesters Urged Not To Give Trump Administration Pretext For What It Already Doing
Protesters Urged Not To Give Trump Administration Pretext For What It Already Doing
LOS ANGELES—Responding to escalating clashes between civilian activists and militarized immigration authorities, Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass publicly urged protesters Monday not to give the Trump adm...
theonion.com
September 6, 2025 at 10:29 PM
Protesters Urged Not To Give Trump Administration Pretext For What It Already Doing
Reposted by Jason Roeder
"It is past time for both Hakeem Jeffries and Chuck Schumer to step down and step aside. This fascist moment, this age of Trump, demands outspoken, unrelenting and fearless opposition... we all deserve better."
I make the case, in my latest for The Guardian, for new leadership:
I make the case, in my latest for The Guardian, for new leadership:
It’s time for Chuck Schumer and Hakeem Jeffries to step down | Mehdi Hasan
This fascist moment, this age of Trump, demands outspoken, unrelenting and fearless opposition. We all deserve better
www.theguardian.com
September 3, 2025 at 3:20 PM
"It is past time for both Hakeem Jeffries and Chuck Schumer to step down and step aside. This fascist moment, this age of Trump, demands outspoken, unrelenting and fearless opposition... we all deserve better."
I make the case, in my latest for The Guardian, for new leadership:
I make the case, in my latest for The Guardian, for new leadership:
Reposted by Jason Roeder
Trump is keeping his right hand below the table so the camera can't see it
August 26, 2025 at 4:27 PM
Trump is keeping his right hand below the table so the camera can't see it
Dems will never miss an opportunity to throw themselves at people who are plotting their extinction night and day.
August 22, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Dems will never miss an opportunity to throw themselves at people who are plotting their extinction night and day.
Reposted by Jason Roeder
So we hate doing stuff like this, but as social media platforms continue to throttle indie publishers like us, we rely now more than ever on our readers. If you can spare $3 or $5 or whatever a month, it would go a long way to help us keep on keeping on. buff.ly/E4eljl9
Get more from McSweeney's Internet Tendency on Patreon
Creating daily humor almost every day
buff.ly
August 19, 2025 at 12:30 AM
So we hate doing stuff like this, but as social media platforms continue to throttle indie publishers like us, we rely now more than ever on our readers. If you can spare $3 or $5 or whatever a month, it would go a long way to help us keep on keeping on. buff.ly/E4eljl9
Amazing that someone who doesn't drink can lose this much dignity in public.
August 16, 2025 at 9:27 PM
Amazing that someone who doesn't drink can lose this much dignity in public.
Today marks the official launch of Humor Consulting Technologies. We'll put our years of experience writing and editing humor to work for your project, no matter how large or small or detrimental to humanity.
Visit jasonroeder.net to find out more.
Visit jasonroeder.net to find out more.
July 30, 2025 at 1:40 AM
Today marks the official launch of Humor Consulting Technologies. We'll put our years of experience writing and editing humor to work for your project, no matter how large or small or detrimental to humanity.
Visit jasonroeder.net to find out more.
Visit jasonroeder.net to find out more.
I read this on paper, and it was great then.
StanLand Episode 1 — “The Scion, the Glitch, and the IKEA Wardrobe” — is out now!
A missing podcaster. A crumbling fantasy world. And too many vape shops. StanLand is a satirical audio series about what happens when capitalism invades the magical realm.
apple.co/3TJLvBO
A missing podcaster. A crumbling fantasy world. And too many vape shops. StanLand is a satirical audio series about what happens when capitalism invades the magical realm.
apple.co/3TJLvBO
StanLand
Comedy Podcast · Weekly Series · StanLand is a five-part satirical audio series featuring Rhea Seehorn, Bobby Moynihan, Steve Little, Timm Sharp, Jon Hamm, John Waters, and more.
When cynical podcaste...
apple.co
July 29, 2025 at 8:53 PM
I read this on paper, and it was great then.
Reposted by Jason Roeder
Fantastic Four’s Pedro Pascal Recalls Working With Trainer To Stretch Limbs 50 Feet theonion.com/fantast...
July 25, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Fantastic Four’s Pedro Pascal Recalls Working With Trainer To Stretch Limbs 50 Feet theonion.com/fantast...