Jane Torbeck
@janetorbeck.bsky.social
Just chunter on about whatever I fancy- books, horror, fitness, food, games, weird perfume.
If you liked a fart joke I made on the internet, maybe you’ll enjoy my daft comedy-horror novel Gymkharnage: A Pony Book https://mybook.to/jQesg
If you liked a fart joke I made on the internet, maybe you’ll enjoy my daft comedy-horror novel Gymkharnage: A Pony Book https://mybook.to/jQesg
This may not be the most sophisticated post I’ve ever made, but this absolutely perfect description of a fart has me wheezing. I can hear this exact sound, as if the echoes of this poor soul’s monstrous fart will reverberate forever.
November 8, 2025 at 10:23 AM
This may not be the most sophisticated post I’ve ever made, but this absolutely perfect description of a fart has me wheezing. I can hear this exact sound, as if the echoes of this poor soul’s monstrous fart will reverberate forever.
We Love You, Bunny. A Bunny prequel in which the Mean Girls hivemind transforms their first unfortunate bunny into a beautiful, tragic himbo axeman, who embarks on a weird, touching and sometimes murderous journey to find autonomy & also delicious flowers. Surreal, hilarious, dark & slyly clever 🩸📚💙
November 4, 2025 at 3:54 AM
We Love You, Bunny. A Bunny prequel in which the Mean Girls hivemind transforms their first unfortunate bunny into a beautiful, tragic himbo axeman, who embarks on a weird, touching and sometimes murderous journey to find autonomy & also delicious flowers. Surreal, hilarious, dark & slyly clever 🩸📚💙
Probably should have run yesterday’s 5k slower considering I haven’t run 5k in months, but my new colleagues all run like majestic gazelles and there was pressure to also win a certified fast person T-shirt for the group photo (I am a certified fast person! With sore legs, but also a free T-shirt 👍)
November 1, 2025 at 4:44 PM
Probably should have run yesterday’s 5k slower considering I haven’t run 5k in months, but my new colleagues all run like majestic gazelles and there was pressure to also win a certified fast person T-shirt for the group photo (I am a certified fast person! With sore legs, but also a free T-shirt 👍)
#sotd is What I Did On My Holidays by 4160 Tuesdays, a delightfully weird & happy seaside fragrance. I mostly get a vanilla-mint, like peppermint rock, plus lavender, a waft of candyfloss, a bit of saltwater & seaweed and a dollop of coconutty sun cream. Sweet, nostalgic & lighthearted #fragrancesky
October 22, 2025 at 4:20 PM
#sotd is What I Did On My Holidays by 4160 Tuesdays, a delightfully weird & happy seaside fragrance. I mostly get a vanilla-mint, like peppermint rock, plus lavender, a waft of candyfloss, a bit of saltwater & seaweed and a dollop of coconutty sun cream. Sweet, nostalgic & lighthearted #fragrancesky
Working overseas for a few months, and every time I grab my bucket of iced coffee and climb into my massive American hire car, I sing. “Twelve yards long, two lanes wide, 65 tons of American pride! Canyonero! Canyonerooooo”
m.youtube.com/watch?v=PI_J...
m.youtube.com/watch?v=PI_J...
The Simpsons - Canyonero
YouTube video by Waluigi
m.youtube.com
October 19, 2025 at 2:55 PM
Working overseas for a few months, and every time I grab my bucket of iced coffee and climb into my massive American hire car, I sing. “Twelve yards long, two lanes wide, 65 tons of American pride! Canyonero! Canyonerooooo”
m.youtube.com/watch?v=PI_J...
m.youtube.com/watch?v=PI_J...
Old Soul by Susan Barker. Unsettling & sinister testimonies of lives torn apart over the years & across the world by an ageless woman. She takes their photo, they die with their organs & features mirrored. Plot is focused more on the destructive reverberations of the woman’s unnatural existence 🩸📚💙
October 19, 2025 at 3:59 AM
Old Soul by Susan Barker. Unsettling & sinister testimonies of lives torn apart over the years & across the world by an ageless woman. She takes their photo, they die with their organs & features mirrored. Plot is focused more on the destructive reverberations of the woman’s unnatural existence 🩸📚💙
Genuinely tickled that @mikebrooks668.bsky.social is getting excellent feedback on his new novel Voidscarred, and my contribution was not to the ‘extremely intelligent conversation’ about subterranean engineering, but to the sexy wild space elves not smelling like Sauvage or whatever. I’M HELPING! 🤗
Thank you! I must credit fellow author @janetorbeck.bsky.social who also does a lot of perfume stuff, who was very helpful when I asked “what would a sexy wild space elf smell like?”
October 14, 2025 at 8:02 AM
Genuinely tickled that @mikebrooks668.bsky.social is getting excellent feedback on his new novel Voidscarred, and my contribution was not to the ‘extremely intelligent conversation’ about subterranean engineering, but to the sexy wild space elves not smelling like Sauvage or whatever. I’M HELPING! 🤗
Tipped 50% at the car wash out of shame and guilt as I watched them spray off moss chunks and dislodge evil ooze from the wheel arches.
Realised it’s the first time I’ve taken my car for a proper wash.
I’ve owned it for over TEN YEARS.
(my car is a very forgiving grey and it rains a lot here? 😅)
Realised it’s the first time I’ve taken my car for a proper wash.
I’ve owned it for over TEN YEARS.
(my car is a very forgiving grey and it rains a lot here? 😅)
October 11, 2025 at 12:20 PM
Tipped 50% at the car wash out of shame and guilt as I watched them spray off moss chunks and dislodge evil ooze from the wheel arches.
Realised it’s the first time I’ve taken my car for a proper wash.
I’ve owned it for over TEN YEARS.
(my car is a very forgiving grey and it rains a lot here? 😅)
Realised it’s the first time I’ve taken my car for a proper wash.
I’ve owned it for over TEN YEARS.
(my car is a very forgiving grey and it rains a lot here? 😅)
Took part in a Crystal Maze experience for my birthday. My band of creaky millennials didn’t exactly clean the place out of crystals, but Richard O’Brien didn’t lock me in an Aztec temple and leave me for dead, so at least I can finally put that childhood fear to rest 💎
October 8, 2025 at 10:09 AM
Took part in a Crystal Maze experience for my birthday. My band of creaky millennials didn’t exactly clean the place out of crystals, but Richard O’Brien didn’t lock me in an Aztec temple and leave me for dead, so at least I can finally put that childhood fear to rest 💎
Staying near a restaurant I love & agonising over whether to go for known favourites (Xinjiang big plate chicken or Geleshan chicken) or try something new. Had my eye on the beancurd with salted duck egg yolk for ages, but that winter special sounds phenomenal on a miserable, wet & windy day.
October 4, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Staying near a restaurant I love & agonising over whether to go for known favourites (Xinjiang big plate chicken or Geleshan chicken) or try something new. Had my eye on the beancurd with salted duck egg yolk for ages, but that winter special sounds phenomenal on a miserable, wet & windy day.
Had a leaving do last night, at which I had a whopping 3x half-pints and am consequently not even remotely hungover, but I’ve already committed to wallowing on the couch all day feeling like a tragic martyr, so I see no reason to change my plans.
October 1, 2025 at 8:48 AM
Had a leaving do last night, at which I had a whopping 3x half-pints and am consequently not even remotely hungover, but I’ve already committed to wallowing on the couch all day feeling like a tragic martyr, so I see no reason to change my plans.
Had a pleasingly nostalgic day at Blackpool Pleasure Beach with my siblings. It’s a bit rough round the edges & there is some risk of getting violently mugged by the most incredibly beefy seagulls I have ever seen (making some impressive gains on a diet of pure chips), but the rides are still good!
September 29, 2025 at 8:13 AM
Had a pleasingly nostalgic day at Blackpool Pleasure Beach with my siblings. It’s a bit rough round the edges & there is some risk of getting violently mugged by the most incredibly beefy seagulls I have ever seen (making some impressive gains on a diet of pure chips), but the rides are still good!
Last year I bought Silent Hill 2 and got asked if it was a Christmas present for my son, today I bought Silent Hill f and got IDed under a Challenge 25 policy.
September 26, 2025 at 3:28 PM
Last year I bought Silent Hill 2 and got asked if it was a Christmas present for my son, today I bought Silent Hill f and got IDed under a Challenge 25 policy.
You Weren’t Meant To Be Human. Raw, uncompromising & brutal horror about a pregnant trans man trapped by a cult serving an alien hive mind. A deeply troubled but tenacious protagonist clinging on by his fingernails with complex trauma that isn’t polished up to be all clean & unproblematic 🩸📚💙
September 21, 2025 at 3:48 PM
You Weren’t Meant To Be Human. Raw, uncompromising & brutal horror about a pregnant trans man trapped by a cult serving an alien hive mind. A deeply troubled but tenacious protagonist clinging on by his fingernails with complex trauma that isn’t polished up to be all clean & unproblematic 🩸📚💙
#sotd is an indie favourite- Gargoyle by Nui Cobalt. A soft, wistful blend of lavender, rain, cool stone and a very gentle cathedral incense. Very calm and tranquil, good choice for a quiet rainy evening #fragrancesky
September 15, 2025 at 5:10 PM
#sotd is an indie favourite- Gargoyle by Nui Cobalt. A soft, wistful blend of lavender, rain, cool stone and a very gentle cathedral incense. Very calm and tranquil, good choice for a quiet rainy evening #fragrancesky
Read A Magical Girl Retires by Park Seolyeon. Quick read about a weary millennial woman struggling with credit card debt, unrealised dreams and climate change anxiety who gets called to action as a magical girl even though she’s nearly 30. Whimsical, a little melancholic, but hopeful 🪐📚💙
September 13, 2025 at 6:53 PM
Read A Magical Girl Retires by Park Seolyeon. Quick read about a weary millennial woman struggling with credit card debt, unrealised dreams and climate change anxiety who gets called to action as a magical girl even though she’s nearly 30. Whimsical, a little melancholic, but hopeful 🪐📚💙
Some interesting new smells from UK brands Rosefox Candles and Diem. Particularly excited for Quiet Riot perfume (matcha, basil, mandarin) and Southern Gothic candle (saffron, sweet tea, peach). Not sure which Diem sample will be my #sotd just yet #fragrancesky
September 7, 2025 at 5:02 PM
Some interesting new smells from UK brands Rosefox Candles and Diem. Particularly excited for Quiet Riot perfume (matcha, basil, mandarin) and Southern Gothic candle (saffron, sweet tea, peach). Not sure which Diem sample will be my #sotd just yet #fragrancesky
The secret fear that I may actually be the person that YouTube recommendation algorithms think I am.
August 31, 2025 at 8:12 AM
The secret fear that I may actually be the person that YouTube recommendation algorithms think I am.
Following up Crow Country with Fear the Spotlight for more retro PlayStation survival horror fun ❤️
August 28, 2025 at 10:44 AM
Following up Crow Country with Fear the Spotlight for more retro PlayStation survival horror fun ❤️
Spotted some fairly bold Phlur and Byredo dupes in UK Primark, so my #sotd is about ten of these sampled at once #fragrancesky #perfumesky
August 25, 2025 at 1:47 PM
Spotted some fairly bold Phlur and Byredo dupes in UK Primark, so my #sotd is about ten of these sampled at once #fragrancesky #perfumesky
I have a brother that’s very difficult to buy Christmas presents for, but every so often I’ll see something ridiculous for sale and think “yeah, I reckon Josh WOULD quite like a mug depicting a medieval cat stealing someone’s dick while a nearby jester cheers it on”
August 24, 2025 at 12:43 PM
I have a brother that’s very difficult to buy Christmas presents for, but every so often I’ll see something ridiculous for sale and think “yeah, I reckon Josh WOULD quite like a mug depicting a medieval cat stealing someone’s dick while a nearby jester cheers it on”
Doing my Christmas shopping in August with an air of martyrdom and a face like a smacked bum, because I am working overseas from autumn and I know I will regret not being organised when I have to panic buy everything at the airport on my way back.
August 24, 2025 at 7:33 AM
Doing my Christmas shopping in August with an air of martyrdom and a face like a smacked bum, because I am working overseas from autumn and I know I will regret not being organised when I have to panic buy everything at the airport on my way back.
Everyone keeps talking about Dandelion Butter, and I was intrigued enough to look for a sample. Then I sailed well past the free shipping point and just kept going for a bit 🙂↔️ #fragrancesky
August 19, 2025 at 8:42 AM
Everyone keeps talking about Dandelion Butter, and I was intrigued enough to look for a sample. Then I sailed well past the free shipping point and just kept going for a bit 🙂↔️ #fragrancesky
#sotd is Solario by Osmofolia. Dry, woody & gloriously warm; mostly dried rose petals, amber, toasted saffron & sandalwood. Simple, uncomplicated & pleasantly reminiscent of basking in sunlight; I should probably ration my bottle carefully, but I want to wear this every day in summer #fragrancesky
August 15, 2025 at 5:11 PM
#sotd is Solario by Osmofolia. Dry, woody & gloriously warm; mostly dried rose petals, amber, toasted saffron & sandalwood. Simple, uncomplicated & pleasantly reminiscent of basking in sunlight; I should probably ration my bottle carefully, but I want to wear this every day in summer #fragrancesky
Got to admit that iced tea was a very good idea, well done Americans. I’ve been keeping a big flask of Lady Grey in the fridge to drink over loads of ice and orange slices, and it’s lovely in this heatwave.
August 13, 2025 at 4:42 PM
Got to admit that iced tea was a very good idea, well done Americans. I’ve been keeping a big flask of Lady Grey in the fridge to drink over loads of ice and orange slices, and it’s lovely in this heatwave.