You have to be the femlin you want to see in the world

I always forget how BIG cyber trucks are, it’s like when you look up how big Pokémon are and find out a golbat is your height.

“Can you believe that Americans don’t know what a tariff is?” Baby I like the news and history and I could have barely given you the basic theory behind a tariff

I think I’m going to start carrying around a parasol and saying “you forget yourself, sir” when someone says something uncouth

i just slammed down into the hardwood, and got up wheezing “my pastaaaaa” like I was marleys ghost off to teach angel hair the true meaning of Christmas

I love when an ad says “learn more” instead of “buy now”, yeah man, educate me on the business of “giant worm plushie”

Anyone else feeling like this frog melting into a 19th century French vase

(Ernest Carrière, 1858 - 1908)

Not sure if anyone else has heard of this new trend “curling into a ball and being gently rocked like a baby”? It’s all the rage

The thing about living in a modern context is that i don’t know how to put lover of hotdogs and free Palestine in the same bio. I’m both undermining my love of the dog and cheapening my passion for freedom

Everytime you speak of hotdogs with love in your heart just know that it was my footsteps in the sand