Garic Goblinhewer
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historydwarf.bsky.social
Garic Goblinhewer
@historydwarf.bsky.social
A dwarf in a sea of Internet trolls. My account is pure, like fresh fallen snow on Christmas. If your first interaction with me is a DM, please do not expect a response.
Ah, I see the misunderstanding. He referred to reporter Katie Rogers as “Uggy” because she always wore Uggs in the press briefings.
November 27, 2025 at 1:07 AM
Widespread outrage at Campbell’s and promises to only eat organic.

The organic:
November 25, 2025 at 10:05 PM
MTG out? Just throwing my whole 2025 bingo card in the trash already.
November 22, 2025 at 2:23 AM
Did you know if you Google “how high am I”, it will give your elevation above sea level and won’t judge you?
November 19, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Dr. Alan Grant on the hunt.
October 31, 2025 at 10:10 PM
Steak ‘n Shake’s choice to align themselves with the Maga movement certainly is a business decision one could choose to make. I hope they remember that many places serve burgers and fries.
October 23, 2025 at 1:24 PM
Proud to contribute to the White House account being one of most blocked accounts on Bluesky.
October 20, 2025 at 10:52 AM
Maga after millions march in the streets in protest: “You did nothing, Trump’s still your president, libs.”
Maga raising 30K signatures to protest Bad Bunny at the Super Bowl: “Fuck yeah, that’ll show ‘em. Murica!”
October 19, 2025 at 5:00 PM
OAN and Newsmax websites can be accessed for free while The Atlantic, CNN, and New York Times are mostly behind a paywall. I can’t see any problems arising from this.
October 18, 2025 at 10:49 PM
Reposted by Garic Goblinhewer
October 14, 2025 at 8:49 PM
I remember that strange week of December 4, 2024 where, for a few days, everyone recognized there wasn‘t as much a left vs. right problem as there was up vs. down.
Of course, after Luigi Mangione was caught, it was very easy for the narrative to revert. I’m sure the 1% gave a sigh of relief.
October 1, 2025 at 5:19 PM
CK technically died but was revived and was in a coma, coming out on September 13 (3 days). He is secretly working underground to take down the worldwide cabal and will re-emerge with JFK Jr. to be the next political powerhouse team. (Am I doing the crazy conspiracy thing right? 😂😂😂)
September 23, 2025 at 10:55 AM
I just took two Tylenol. When can I expect the autism to hit?
September 22, 2025 at 10:23 PM
I don’t want to hear anyone talking about crisis actors, FBI shooter, and Reichstag event in the same paragraph.
September 10, 2025 at 9:09 PM
I believe Donald Trump to be an opportunistic white nationalist. I believe JD Vance to be an unabashedly white nationalist.
September 10, 2025 at 7:53 PM
I don’t fully understand the Cracker Barrel fervor. Are people that upset over a restaurant changing direction, being different than what they grew up with? I am 57 years old and many restaurants I grew up with are gone and those that aren’t, are different. An excuse for political posturing?
August 24, 2025 at 8:00 PM
The Irish have the best tenors, coffee, and goodbyes.
August 24, 2025 at 2:34 PM
This rodeo-inspired latte menu looks to me like it is listing sex positions.
August 23, 2025 at 4:56 PM
So I’m torn. Do I take the family to Epcot or do I save a little money by just flying to the actual countries?
August 22, 2025 at 4:16 PM
Sour Patch under black light
August 16, 2025 at 12:41 AM
I just had a TikTok ad pop up advertising “Retro military realistic latex mask, 1940s Halloween costume headgear”.
Yes, it was a Hitler mask. Who in the world is the target audience for this?
August 9, 2025 at 7:01 PM
Finally a guy on the spectrum such as myself finds a workout supplement made for him.
July 30, 2025 at 12:07 AM
Hitting a little hard today, not sure why.
July 21, 2025 at 12:59 PM
Breaking news from Republican leadership: There was no island and Jeffrey Epstein was just three racoons in a trench coat.
July 18, 2025 at 1:56 AM
My garden gives me a little solace in the summer. Something I actually like taking care of and that gives me something back.

Hoping none of my kids read this.
July 9, 2025 at 11:51 AM