Sarah Sweeney
@heysweeney.bsky.social
Writer (Vogue SlackJaw McSweeney’s NYT The Bold Italic) | Voice actor (hi, I’m the voice of Skyrizi, but I want to be your animation friend)
www.sweeneyproject.com
www.sweeneyproject.com
Pinned
Sarah Sweeney
@heysweeney.bsky.social
· Oct 16
My Time With Angela Lansbury
In honor of Angela Lansbury’s centennial, the star’s former assistant recalls a part-time job that blossomed into a 15-year friendship.
www.vogue.com
This is the story of the part-time assistant job that became a 15-year friendship—and a lesson in love. Read my Vogue debut on what would’ve been Angie’s 100th birthday.
www.vogue.com/article/my-t... 
www.vogue.com/article/my-t... 
::scrolls the length of a memoir before the big reveal: how much butter this potato recipe calls for::
November 27, 2025 at 7:07 PM
::scrolls the length of a memoir before the big reveal: how much butter this potato recipe calls for::
Pretty sure Vegas is just a town of women whose feet are sore.
Heels, this is a stiletto heels observation.
Heels, this is a stiletto heels observation.
November 22, 2025 at 5:29 AM
Pretty sure Vegas is just a town of women whose feet are sore.
Heels, this is a stiletto heels observation.
Heels, this is a stiletto heels observation.
Reposted by Sarah Sweeney
A New Yorker lands in Las Vegas
::checks hotel distance from airport::
Ohh, 1.5 miles. I could walk it.
::checks hotel distance from airport::
Ohh, 1.5 miles. I could walk it.
November 20, 2025 at 3:20 AM
A New Yorker lands in Las Vegas
::checks hotel distance from airport::
Ohh, 1.5 miles. I could walk it.
::checks hotel distance from airport::
Ohh, 1.5 miles. I could walk it.
A New Yorker lands in Las Vegas
::checks hotel distance from airport::
Ohh, 1.5 miles. I could walk it.
::checks hotel distance from airport::
Ohh, 1.5 miles. I could walk it.
November 20, 2025 at 3:20 AM
A New Yorker lands in Las Vegas
::checks hotel distance from airport::
Ohh, 1.5 miles. I could walk it.
::checks hotel distance from airport::
Ohh, 1.5 miles. I could walk it.
You’re not gonna believe me, guy seated behind me on this flight, but the screen you’re jamming your finger into is connected to my seat which is connected to my skull
November 20, 2025 at 2:03 AM
You’re not gonna believe me, guy seated behind me on this flight, but the screen you’re jamming your finger into is connected to my seat which is connected to my skull
@daveweasel.bsky.social hey man, long time no twitter, good to see you again
November 19, 2025 at 2:27 AM
@daveweasel.bsky.social hey man, long time no twitter, good to see you again
As far as corporate America goes, we’re done for the year, right?
November 18, 2025 at 4:14 PM
As far as corporate America goes, we’re done for the year, right?
Reposted by Sarah Sweeney
We hope your decorative gourds are still kicking ass on your porch or mantel or in your all-gourd reenactments of 'Diff’rent Strokes' eps. #BLAMMO
It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
First published on October 9, 2009, this classic by Colin Nissan is our most-read article of all time. We’re celebrating the 16th anniversary of th...
buff.ly
November 17, 2025 at 2:00 AM
We hope your decorative gourds are still kicking ass on your porch or mantel or in your all-gourd reenactments of 'Diff’rent Strokes' eps. #BLAMMO
Heading home, can you guys remind me there’s a salad in my backpack?
November 11, 2025 at 11:02 PM
Heading home, can you guys remind me there’s a salad in my backpack?
Reposted by Sarah Sweeney
*walks into a Bath & Body Works* one working body please
November 5, 2025 at 7:15 PM
*walks into a Bath & Body Works* one working body please
Reposted by Sarah Sweeney
Horror shouldn’t be a genre allowed on flights. Like, hey seatmate, I can’t go read in the other room while you watch your stabby stab 10-inches from my face.
October 29, 2025 at 12:37 AM
Horror shouldn’t be a genre allowed on flights. Like, hey seatmate, I can’t go read in the other room while you watch your stabby stab 10-inches from my face.
Reposted by Sarah Sweeney
Nothing compares to diffusing a bomb quite like the anxiety I feel holding Cmd+Q to close Chrome.
October 30, 2025 at 1:48 AM
Nothing compares to diffusing a bomb quite like the anxiety I feel holding Cmd+Q to close Chrome.
Nothing compares to diffusing a bomb quite like the anxiety I feel holding Cmd+Q to close Chrome.
October 30, 2025 at 1:48 AM
Nothing compares to diffusing a bomb quite like the anxiety I feel holding Cmd+Q to close Chrome.
Why is Fear Factor still on? Like isn’t all ✨this✨ enough?
October 29, 2025 at 12:51 AM
Why is Fear Factor still on? Like isn’t all ✨this✨ enough?
Horror shouldn’t be a genre allowed on flights. Like, hey seatmate, I can’t go read in the other room while you watch your stabby stab 10-inches from my face.
October 29, 2025 at 12:37 AM
Horror shouldn’t be a genre allowed on flights. Like, hey seatmate, I can’t go read in the other room while you watch your stabby stab 10-inches from my face.
Baby on my flight who’s said calmly for the last 30 mins, “almost there, almost there, almost there.” Thank you, baby.
October 27, 2025 at 7:31 PM
Baby on my flight who’s said calmly for the last 30 mins, “almost there, almost there, almost there.” Thank you, baby.
Reposted by Sarah Sweeney
[showing my barber a photograph of their family] if you ever want to see them again you'll make my hair look nice.
October 26, 2025 at 8:13 PM
[showing my barber a photograph of their family] if you ever want to see them again you'll make my hair look nice.
Reposted by Sarah Sweeney
Your skeleton is just a gift that time slowly unwraps.
October 21, 2024 at 9:02 PM
Your skeleton is just a gift that time slowly unwraps.
Reposted by Sarah Sweeney
This is the story of the part-time assistant job that became a 15-year friendship—and a lesson in love. Read my Vogue debut on what would’ve been Angie’s 100th birthday.
www.vogue.com/article/my-t... 
www.vogue.com/article/my-t... 
My Time With Angela Lansbury
In honor of Angela Lansbury’s centennial, the star’s former assistant recalls a part-time job that blossomed into a 15-year friendship.
www.vogue.com
October 16, 2025 at 8:54 PM
This is the story of the part-time assistant job that became a 15-year friendship—and a lesson in love. Read my Vogue debut on what would’ve been Angie’s 100th birthday.
www.vogue.com/article/my-t... 
www.vogue.com/article/my-t... 
Reposted by Sarah Sweeney
THE INVENTOR OF VALET PARKING: what if I said that you could have your car stolen temporarily and you would have to pay someone to return it back to you
October 26, 2025 at 1:10 AM
THE INVENTOR OF VALET PARKING: what if I said that you could have your car stolen temporarily and you would have to pay someone to return it back to you
Reposted by Sarah Sweeney
Peak suburbia is visiting a CVS and deodorant isn’t locked behind plexiglass awaiting a clerk with a key
October 24, 2025 at 2:54 PM
Peak suburbia is visiting a CVS and deodorant isn’t locked behind plexiglass awaiting a clerk with a key
Peak suburbia is visiting a CVS and deodorant isn’t locked behind plexiglass awaiting a clerk with a key
October 24, 2025 at 2:54 PM
Peak suburbia is visiting a CVS and deodorant isn’t locked behind plexiglass awaiting a clerk with a key
Reposted by Sarah Sweeney
Dracula must hate it when sees a delicious neck but he *just* brushed his teeth
October 17, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Dracula must hate it when sees a delicious neck but he *just* brushed his teeth
This is a happy story if anyone needs that right now? Idk
This is the story of the part-time assistant job that became a 15-year friendship—and a lesson in love. Read my Vogue debut on what would’ve been Angie’s 100th birthday.
www.vogue.com/article/my-t... 
www.vogue.com/article/my-t... 
My Time With Angela Lansbury
In honor of Angela Lansbury’s centennial, the star’s former assistant recalls a part-time job that blossomed into a 15-year friendship.
www.vogue.com
October 16, 2025 at 9:18 PM
This is a happy story if anyone needs that right now? Idk
This is the story of the part-time assistant job that became a 15-year friendship—and a lesson in love. Read my Vogue debut on what would’ve been Angie’s 100th birthday.
www.vogue.com/article/my-t... 
www.vogue.com/article/my-t... 
My Time With Angela Lansbury
In honor of Angela Lansbury’s centennial, the star’s former assistant recalls a part-time job that blossomed into a 15-year friendship.
www.vogue.com
October 16, 2025 at 8:54 PM
This is the story of the part-time assistant job that became a 15-year friendship—and a lesson in love. Read my Vogue debut on what would’ve been Angie’s 100th birthday.
www.vogue.com/article/my-t... 
www.vogue.com/article/my-t...