Hestzhyen
@hestzhyen.bsky.social
Venting and ship nonsense (伯チヒ | アベミハ | 空陸, 全🔄)
He/They | 🏳️⚧️ | 20↑
He/They | 🏳️⚧️ | 20↑
Moving yet again, this time to Mastodon. Not only do I vehemently disagree with BSky's censorship of art and artists, the fact that they host a transphobe with a major account and refuse to ban them because they play the "dog whistle" game correctly is too much. Same name, new home.
October 19, 2025 at 10:18 PM
Moving yet again, this time to Mastodon. Not only do I vehemently disagree with BSky's censorship of art and artists, the fact that they host a transphobe with a major account and refuse to ban them because they play the "dog whistle" game correctly is too much. Same name, new home.
Hokazono sure does write a lot of excellent Doomed Yaoi premises for a guy also publishing in Weekly Shounen Jump... all these passionate and extraordinary bonds between guys and not a single het romantic interest in sight (except for Samura's dead wife, who was too good for him anyway)...
Hmm...
Hmm...
October 19, 2025 at 4:31 PM
Hokazono sure does write a lot of excellent Doomed Yaoi premises for a guy also publishing in Weekly Shounen Jump... all these passionate and extraordinary bonds between guys and not a single het romantic interest in sight (except for Samura's dead wife, who was too good for him anyway)...
Hmm...
Hmm...
I wonder if it's okay to say I wish I was into the same ships as most of the others I hang with. It would be nice if it was FushiUru or something that put my brain in a vice grip... it'd get the rest more excited to see something from me. But it's just the basic bitch vanilla ship, so who cares.
October 18, 2025 at 7:41 PM
I wonder if it's okay to say I wish I was into the same ships as most of the others I hang with. It would be nice if it was FushiUru or something that put my brain in a vice grip... it'd get the rest more excited to see something from me. But it's just the basic bitch vanilla ship, so who cares.
According to my therapist, it's okay to be in "survival mode" for the next while... don't put so much pressure on myself, just focus on the absolute basics like sleeping, eating, and taking showers.
I haven't suffered or experienced enough to warrant it IMO, but I want to live, so I'll accept it.
I haven't suffered or experienced enough to warrant it IMO, but I want to live, so I'll accept it.
October 17, 2025 at 6:30 PM
According to my therapist, it's okay to be in "survival mode" for the next while... don't put so much pressure on myself, just focus on the absolute basics like sleeping, eating, and taking showers.
I haven't suffered or experienced enough to warrant it IMO, but I want to live, so I'll accept it.
I haven't suffered or experienced enough to warrant it IMO, but I want to live, so I'll accept it.
And just like that, I'm back where I was. Losing control of everything and wishing I was dead so I would stop existing/feeling.
Can't blame my mom for alcoholism or my brother for opiate addiction when I'm trying to numb myself too. Just with fantasy instead of drugs. So much better... ha ha...
Can't blame my mom for alcoholism or my brother for opiate addiction when I'm trying to numb myself too. Just with fantasy instead of drugs. So much better... ha ha...
October 17, 2025 at 5:52 AM
And just like that, I'm back where I was. Losing control of everything and wishing I was dead so I would stop existing/feeling.
Can't blame my mom for alcoholism or my brother for opiate addiction when I'm trying to numb myself too. Just with fantasy instead of drugs. So much better... ha ha...
Can't blame my mom for alcoholism or my brother for opiate addiction when I'm trying to numb myself too. Just with fantasy instead of drugs. So much better... ha ha...
Reposted by Hestzhyen
When we write or draw porn or erotica, we get banned from having a bank account and our livelihoods get seized even if we give it away for free.
When billionaires steal what we've written or drawn to churn out a slop-approximate of porn, they're allowed to charge for it.
When billionaires steal what we've written or drawn to churn out a slop-approximate of porn, they're allowed to charge for it.
Oh good, ChatGPT is getting "erotica for verified adults" later this year
October 14, 2025 at 7:50 PM
When we write or draw porn or erotica, we get banned from having a bank account and our livelihoods get seized even if we give it away for free.
When billionaires steal what we've written or drawn to churn out a slop-approximate of porn, they're allowed to charge for it.
When billionaires steal what we've written or drawn to churn out a slop-approximate of porn, they're allowed to charge for it.
I think I'm getting sick. I can't afford that when Bachitober's only halfway done... _(´ཀ`」 ∠) _
October 16, 2025 at 12:20 AM
I think I'm getting sick. I can't afford that when Bachitober's only halfway done... _(´ཀ`」 ∠) _
Rating/Ship: E/ChihiSojo
Character(s): Chihiro, Sojo
Tag(s): Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Canon-Typical Violence, Dubious Consent, Foe Yay, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Sewer Rat Annoys Bedraggled Kitty Cat Until the Cat Fucks Him
Summary: Sojo catches Chihiro after the fight
Character(s): Chihiro, Sojo
Tag(s): Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Canon-Typical Violence, Dubious Consent, Foe Yay, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Sewer Rat Annoys Bedraggled Kitty Cat Until the Cat Fucks Him
Summary: Sojo catches Chihiro after the fight
October 15, 2025 at 10:40 AM
Rating/Ship: E/ChihiSojo
Character(s): Chihiro, Sojo
Tag(s): Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Canon-Typical Violence, Dubious Consent, Foe Yay, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Sewer Rat Annoys Bedraggled Kitty Cat Until the Cat Fucks Him
Summary: Sojo catches Chihiro after the fight
Character(s): Chihiro, Sojo
Tag(s): Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Canon-Typical Violence, Dubious Consent, Foe Yay, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Sewer Rat Annoys Bedraggled Kitty Cat Until the Cat Fucks Him
Summary: Sojo catches Chihiro after the fight
M/Gen
Character(s): Soya (& his immediate family)
Tag(s): Child Abuse, Abusive Parents, Pre-Canon, Origin Story, All Hurt No Comfort, Experimental Style
Summary: Love is what binds them. Love is earned. Love is painful. Love is...
archiveofourown.org/works/72464331
Character(s): Soya (& his immediate family)
Tag(s): Child Abuse, Abusive Parents, Pre-Canon, Origin Story, All Hurt No Comfort, Experimental Style
Summary: Love is what binds them. Love is earned. Love is painful. Love is...
archiveofourown.org/works/72464331
Breaking Point - Hestzhyen - Kagurabachi (Manga) [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
archiveofourown.org
October 14, 2025 at 7:37 AM
M/Gen
Character(s): Soya (& his immediate family)
Tag(s): Child Abuse, Abusive Parents, Pre-Canon, Origin Story, All Hurt No Comfort, Experimental Style
Summary: Love is what binds them. Love is earned. Love is painful. Love is...
archiveofourown.org/works/72464331
Character(s): Soya (& his immediate family)
Tag(s): Child Abuse, Abusive Parents, Pre-Canon, Origin Story, All Hurt No Comfort, Experimental Style
Summary: Love is what binds them. Love is earned. Love is painful. Love is...
archiveofourown.org/works/72464331
What do I have to write to inspire someone else to write something based on it... guess I need to have worthwhile creative ideas first...
I think I'll finish this Bachitober stuff, do the Secret Santa stuff I signed up for, then stop for a while. Nothing I do really matters anyway. It's trash.
I think I'll finish this Bachitober stuff, do the Secret Santa stuff I signed up for, then stop for a while. Nothing I do really matters anyway. It's trash.
October 13, 2025 at 8:22 PM
What do I have to write to inspire someone else to write something based on it... guess I need to have worthwhile creative ideas first...
I think I'll finish this Bachitober stuff, do the Secret Santa stuff I signed up for, then stop for a while. Nothing I do really matters anyway. It's trash.
I think I'll finish this Bachitober stuff, do the Secret Santa stuff I signed up for, then stop for a while. Nothing I do really matters anyway. It's trash.
T/Gen (Chihiro & Shiba)
Character(s): Shiba
Tag(s): Pre-Canon, Grief/Mourning
Summary: Shiba writes a letter to Chihiro that he will never send on the first anniversary of Rokuhira Kunishige's death.
archiveofourown.org/works/72396401
Character(s): Shiba
Tag(s): Pre-Canon, Grief/Mourning
Summary: Shiba writes a letter to Chihiro that he will never send on the first anniversary of Rokuhira Kunishige's death.
archiveofourown.org/works/72396401
Ignorance is Bliss - Hestzhyen - Kagurabachi (Manga) [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
archiveofourown.org
October 13, 2025 at 4:46 AM
T/Gen (Chihiro & Shiba)
Character(s): Shiba
Tag(s): Pre-Canon, Grief/Mourning
Summary: Shiba writes a letter to Chihiro that he will never send on the first anniversary of Rokuhira Kunishige's death.
archiveofourown.org/works/72396401
Character(s): Shiba
Tag(s): Pre-Canon, Grief/Mourning
Summary: Shiba writes a letter to Chihiro that he will never send on the first anniversary of Rokuhira Kunishige's death.
archiveofourown.org/works/72396401
I'm getting greedy, no good... I hope someone will list one of my fics as their favourite for whatever reason... mood, characterisation, whatever. Something they like to come back to over and over again... but that means I need to become a writer who can make works like that in the first place.
October 12, 2025 at 4:26 PM
I'm getting greedy, no good... I hope someone will list one of my fics as their favourite for whatever reason... mood, characterisation, whatever. Something they like to come back to over and over again... but that means I need to become a writer who can make works like that in the first place.
T/Gen
Character(s): Hakuri
Tag(s): Pre-Canon, Character Study, Angst and Humour, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Minor Original Character(s)
Summary: ...Hakuri does his best to figure out the basics of survival in a world he knows almost nothing about.
archiveofourown.org/collections/...
Character(s): Hakuri
Tag(s): Pre-Canon, Character Study, Angst and Humour, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Minor Original Character(s)
Summary: ...Hakuri does his best to figure out the basics of survival in a world he knows almost nothing about.
archiveofourown.org/collections/...
Great No-Thing - Hestzhyen - Kagurabachi (Manga) [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
archiveofourown.org
October 12, 2025 at 6:20 AM
T/Gen
Character(s): Hakuri
Tag(s): Pre-Canon, Character Study, Angst and Humour, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Minor Original Character(s)
Summary: ...Hakuri does his best to figure out the basics of survival in a world he knows almost nothing about.
archiveofourown.org/collections/...
Character(s): Hakuri
Tag(s): Pre-Canon, Character Study, Angst and Humour, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Minor Original Character(s)
Summary: ...Hakuri does his best to figure out the basics of survival in a world he knows almost nothing about.
archiveofourown.org/collections/...
T/Gen
Character(s): Soya, Hakuri
Tag(s): Pre-Canon, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Sick Character
Summary: ...Sometimes weakness remains buried deep within though- this time in the form of a lullaby whose words are long forgotten.
archiveofourown.org/works/722681...
Character(s): Soya, Hakuri
Tag(s): Pre-Canon, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Sick Character
Summary: ...Sometimes weakness remains buried deep within though- this time in the form of a lullaby whose words are long forgotten.
archiveofourown.org/works/722681...
Broken Lullaby - Hestzhyen - Kagurabachi (Manga) [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
archiveofourown.org
October 11, 2025 at 3:29 AM
T/Gen
Character(s): Soya, Hakuri
Tag(s): Pre-Canon, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Sick Character
Summary: ...Sometimes weakness remains buried deep within though- this time in the form of a lullaby whose words are long forgotten.
archiveofourown.org/works/722681...
Character(s): Soya, Hakuri
Tag(s): Pre-Canon, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Sick Character
Summary: ...Sometimes weakness remains buried deep within though- this time in the form of a lullaby whose words are long forgotten.
archiveofourown.org/works/722681...
T/Gen
Character(s): Sazanami Enji
Tag(s): Character Study - Angst - Post-Canon
Summary: Enji reflects on the fate of the Sazanami clan months after the last-ever Rakuzaichi
archiveofourown.org/collections/...
Character(s): Sazanami Enji
Tag(s): Character Study - Angst - Post-Canon
Summary: Enji reflects on the fate of the Sazanami clan months after the last-ever Rakuzaichi
archiveofourown.org/collections/...
Onward Towards Our Noble Death - Hestzhyen - Kagurabachi (Manga) [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
archiveofourown.org
October 10, 2025 at 4:21 AM
T/Gen
Character(s): Sazanami Enji
Tag(s): Character Study - Angst - Post-Canon
Summary: Enji reflects on the fate of the Sazanami clan months after the last-ever Rakuzaichi
archiveofourown.org/collections/...
Character(s): Sazanami Enji
Tag(s): Character Study - Angst - Post-Canon
Summary: Enji reflects on the fate of the Sazanami clan months after the last-ever Rakuzaichi
archiveofourown.org/collections/...
E/HakuHiro (Reversible)
Azami, Char, Chihiro, Hakuri, Hinao, Shiba
Aphrodisiac, Established Relationship, Fluff, Outdoor Sex, Reversible Couple, Anal Sex, Public Hand Jobs
Hakuri receives the two best possible things could have wished for on his birthday...
archiveofourown.org/works/72169501
Azami, Char, Chihiro, Hakuri, Hinao, Shiba
Aphrodisiac, Established Relationship, Fluff, Outdoor Sex, Reversible Couple, Anal Sex, Public Hand Jobs
Hakuri receives the two best possible things could have wished for on his birthday...
archiveofourown.org/works/72169501
Spring Dawn - Hestzhyen - Kagurabachi (Manga) [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
archiveofourown.org
October 9, 2025 at 8:25 AM
E/HakuHiro (Reversible)
Azami, Char, Chihiro, Hakuri, Hinao, Shiba
Aphrodisiac, Established Relationship, Fluff, Outdoor Sex, Reversible Couple, Anal Sex, Public Hand Jobs
Hakuri receives the two best possible things could have wished for on his birthday...
archiveofourown.org/works/72169501
Azami, Char, Chihiro, Hakuri, Hinao, Shiba
Aphrodisiac, Established Relationship, Fluff, Outdoor Sex, Reversible Couple, Anal Sex, Public Hand Jobs
Hakuri receives the two best possible things could have wished for on his birthday...
archiveofourown.org/works/72169501
Stupid idea:
Magic in KB that forces two people to do a stupid, tacky porn scenario to be freed of it. Pizza delivery, room you can't leave until you fuck, etc. The twist? It only works on couples that already bone.
BOOM! An antagonistic, pathetic incel enemy appears before HakuHiro! Oh no~
Magic in KB that forces two people to do a stupid, tacky porn scenario to be freed of it. Pizza delivery, room you can't leave until you fuck, etc. The twist? It only works on couples that already bone.
BOOM! An antagonistic, pathetic incel enemy appears before HakuHiro! Oh no~
October 9, 2025 at 2:59 AM
Stupid idea:
Magic in KB that forces two people to do a stupid, tacky porn scenario to be freed of it. Pizza delivery, room you can't leave until you fuck, etc. The twist? It only works on couples that already bone.
BOOM! An antagonistic, pathetic incel enemy appears before HakuHiro! Oh no~
Magic in KB that forces two people to do a stupid, tacky porn scenario to be freed of it. Pizza delivery, room you can't leave until you fuck, etc. The twist? It only works on couples that already bone.
BOOM! An antagonistic, pathetic incel enemy appears before HakuHiro! Oh no~
Changes were made after learning that I was a whole damn month off on some friend's birthdays... orz
Revised Bachitober schedule (in sum, more porn has been been added)
Revised Bachitober schedule (in sum, more porn has been been added)
October 7, 2025 at 9:49 PM
Changes were made after learning that I was a whole damn month off on some friend's birthdays... orz
Revised Bachitober schedule (in sum, more porn has been been added)
Revised Bachitober schedule (in sum, more porn has been been added)
To think someone was so inspired by something I wrote that they wanted to make such amazing art of it... I'm so moved and humbled...! Thank you! I'll keep going and do my best!
October 7, 2025 at 7:47 PM
To think someone was so inspired by something I wrote that they wanted to make such amazing art of it... I'm so moved and humbled...! Thank you! I'll keep going and do my best!
G/Gen (Char & Hakuri)
Char, Chihiro, Hakuri, Hinao, Shiba
Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Char PoV
Hakuri's pretty weird and Char's not sure why that makes her so uneasy. It should be enough that he's nice, silly, and makes her laugh, right...?
archiveofourown.org/works/72078361
Char, Chihiro, Hakuri, Hinao, Shiba
Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Char PoV
Hakuri's pretty weird and Char's not sure why that makes her so uneasy. It should be enough that he's nice, silly, and makes her laugh, right...?
archiveofourown.org/works/72078361
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon - Hestzhyen - Kagurabachi (Manga) [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
archiveofourown.org
October 7, 2025 at 7:46 PM
G/Gen (Char & Hakuri)
Char, Chihiro, Hakuri, Hinao, Shiba
Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Char PoV
Hakuri's pretty weird and Char's not sure why that makes her so uneasy. It should be enough that he's nice, silly, and makes her laugh, right...?
archiveofourown.org/works/72078361
Char, Chihiro, Hakuri, Hinao, Shiba
Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Char PoV
Hakuri's pretty weird and Char's not sure why that makes her so uneasy. It should be enough that he's nice, silly, and makes her laugh, right...?
archiveofourown.org/works/72078361
Day 6 - Death Smells of Sandalwood
T/SamuNori
Inori, Samura Seiichi
Pre-Canon, Divorce, Character Death, Character Study, POV Experimental
Love dies without being nurtured; for in arid soil can nothing grow.
archiveofourown.org/works/71629161
T/SamuNori
Inori, Samura Seiichi
Pre-Canon, Divorce, Character Death, Character Study, POV Experimental
Love dies without being nurtured; for in arid soil can nothing grow.
archiveofourown.org/works/71629161
Death Smells of Sandalwood - Hestzhyen - Kagurabachi (Manga) [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
archiveofourown.org
October 6, 2025 at 4:03 PM
Day 6 - Death Smells of Sandalwood
T/SamuNori
Inori, Samura Seiichi
Pre-Canon, Divorce, Character Death, Character Study, POV Experimental
Love dies without being nurtured; for in arid soil can nothing grow.
archiveofourown.org/works/71629161
T/SamuNori
Inori, Samura Seiichi
Pre-Canon, Divorce, Character Death, Character Study, POV Experimental
Love dies without being nurtured; for in arid soil can nothing grow.
archiveofourown.org/works/71629161
Day 5 - How the Steel was Tempered
M/HakuHiro, Chihiro&Shiba
Child Abuse, Self-Harm, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort
Red lines on top of raised ones, born of and hidden with shame. Yet sometimes the meaning of a scar is in the eye of the beholder.
archiveofourown.org/works/71967316
M/HakuHiro, Chihiro&Shiba
Child Abuse, Self-Harm, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort
Red lines on top of raised ones, born of and hidden with shame. Yet sometimes the meaning of a scar is in the eye of the beholder.
archiveofourown.org/works/71967316
How the Steel Was Tempered - Hestzhyen - Kagurabachi (Manga) [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
archiveofourown.org
October 6, 2025 at 2:07 AM
Day 5 - How the Steel was Tempered
M/HakuHiro, Chihiro&Shiba
Child Abuse, Self-Harm, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort
Red lines on top of raised ones, born of and hidden with shame. Yet sometimes the meaning of a scar is in the eye of the beholder.
archiveofourown.org/works/71967316
M/HakuHiro, Chihiro&Shiba
Child Abuse, Self-Harm, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort
Red lines on top of raised ones, born of and hidden with shame. Yet sometimes the meaning of a scar is in the eye of the beholder.
archiveofourown.org/works/71967316
HakuHiro wedding on the cover of WSJ, Azami lore, Azami looking hot as FUCK as he kicks Yura's ass, all signs pointing to Chihiro and Hakuri reuniting soon, even probably seeing Hiyuki and Shiba again before the year's over. I won so goddamn hard this week.
October 5, 2025 at 7:10 PM
HakuHiro wedding on the cover of WSJ, Azami lore, Azami looking hot as FUCK as he kicks Yura's ass, all signs pointing to Chihiro and Hakuri reuniting soon, even probably seeing Hiyuki and Shiba again before the year's over. I won so goddamn hard this week.
Monitor 1: 1k+ song playlist on shuffle, talking about neck pussies and armpitussies and other niche kinks that Mormon "smut" writers could never fathom
Monitor 2: writing a very serious hurt/comfort HakuHiro fic dealing with trauma from abuse and self-harm
Something something the duality of man?
Monitor 2: writing a very serious hurt/comfort HakuHiro fic dealing with trauma from abuse and self-harm
Something something the duality of man?
October 5, 2025 at 6:00 AM
Monitor 1: 1k+ song playlist on shuffle, talking about neck pussies and armpitussies and other niche kinks that Mormon "smut" writers could never fathom
Monitor 2: writing a very serious hurt/comfort HakuHiro fic dealing with trauma from abuse and self-harm
Something something the duality of man?
Monitor 2: writing a very serious hurt/comfort HakuHiro fic dealing with trauma from abuse and self-harm
Something something the duality of man?
God, I love space and astronomy... I don't care much for sci-fi, but incorporating magic into the exploration of space? Hell yeah. I have the "So You Want to Be A Wizard" series to thank for that, I think. It gripped my imagination so hard so see magic being used to explore outer space.
October 4, 2025 at 7:46 PM
God, I love space and astronomy... I don't care much for sci-fi, but incorporating magic into the exploration of space? Hell yeah. I have the "So You Want to Be A Wizard" series to thank for that, I think. It gripped my imagination so hard so see magic being used to explore outer space.