Biggest insider trading market manipulation scheme in history.

They aren't even bothering to hide it.

Well all these other guys might be stabbing me but at least I can still rely on my good friend Brutus

[if Chuck Schumer replaced Liam Neeson in Taken]

CHUCK SCHUMER: [on phone] I don’t know who you are or what you want, but I will find you and I will help you kill my daughter

Evidence that coffee is superior to tea is that when a coffee goes cold, it's still pretty good. A tea is only in its sweet spot for a couple of minutes, otherwise it's either too hot or too cold.

the feds: stop trying to turn this guy into some cool antihero with a badass public image

also the feds: *treat him like they’ve captured the joker*

every job is at best tolerable until you drop dead or retire, except congressperson, which from the way they cling to power must feel like riding down a water slide 24/7

It's a shame how little social media seems to prioritize "having a nice time chatting with people and making silly jokes and sharing interesting things".

What if I told you that the only reason I am bald is that I’m afraid of a Ratatouille situation? What if I told you that I’d have so much hair if not for the fear of a rat using me like a puppet? These are modes of control, Neo. This is how they manipulate us. Ratatouilles, Neo. Rats that pull hair.