Reposted by Henry3000
I’m sick of reaching the bottom and getting nothing from it. Searching the depths, but all for naught. Maybe it’s time I finally crack open a new jar of peanut butter
September 12, 2025 at 2:15 PM
I’m sick of reaching the bottom and getting nothing from it. Searching the depths, but all for naught. Maybe it’s time I finally crack open a new jar of peanut butter
Reposted by Henry3000
[meeting]
Boss: Anything you want to add?
Me: [furrows brow in vain attempt to look thoughtful]
Boss: Why did you say "furrows brow in vain att
Boss: Anything you want to add?
Me: [furrows brow in vain attempt to look thoughtful]
Boss: Why did you say "furrows brow in vain att
August 4, 2025 at 9:06 PM
[meeting]
Boss: Anything you want to add?
Me: [furrows brow in vain attempt to look thoughtful]
Boss: Why did you say "furrows brow in vain att
Boss: Anything you want to add?
Me: [furrows brow in vain attempt to look thoughtful]
Boss: Why did you say "furrows brow in vain att
Reposted by Henry3000
Set phasers to unbearable lightness of being
August 4, 2025 at 8:49 PM
Set phasers to unbearable lightness of being
Reposted by Henry3000
Reading posts is one form of escape and slowly drowning in quicksand is another.
August 4, 2025 at 3:31 PM
Reading posts is one form of escape and slowly drowning in quicksand is another.
I loved your metaphor. You really painted a picture with words. Sadly, that doesn't make your idea any less dumb.
August 2, 2025 at 7:56 PM
I loved your metaphor. You really painted a picture with words. Sadly, that doesn't make your idea any less dumb.
Reposted by Henry3000
Writing "Nana's Ride" on the back of my wheelchair in dayglow face paint.
July 31, 2025 at 9:07 PM
Writing "Nana's Ride" on the back of my wheelchair in dayglow face paint.
Reposted by Henry3000
But who will protect the pocket protectors?
July 27, 2025 at 11:41 AM
But who will protect the pocket protectors?
Reposted by Henry3000
Nephew: Do you like Minecraft?
Me: [trying to seem cool] I am interested in how mines are built, yes.
Me: [trying to seem cool] I am interested in how mines are built, yes.
July 15, 2025 at 10:58 PM
Nephew: Do you like Minecraft?
Me: [trying to seem cool] I am interested in how mines are built, yes.
Me: [trying to seem cool] I am interested in how mines are built, yes.
Reposted by Henry3000
“Please release my son’s files.”
Signed,
Epstein’s mother
Signed,
Epstein’s mother
July 23, 2025 at 3:14 PM
“Please release my son’s files.”
Signed,
Epstein’s mother
Signed,
Epstein’s mother
Reposted by Henry3000
If you rewrite Kentucky Rain to be about a taco bar, then you've written a song called KenTaco Rain, and you're a friggin' genius. And, yes, I am.
July 22, 2025 at 1:29 PM
If you rewrite Kentucky Rain to be about a taco bar, then you've written a song called KenTaco Rain, and you're a friggin' genius. And, yes, I am.
Our world might just be
computer code but we gotta look after it. After all, it's the only simulation we have running.
computer code but we gotta look after it. After all, it's the only simulation we have running.
July 16, 2025 at 7:43 PM
Our world might just be
computer code but we gotta look after it. After all, it's the only simulation we have running.
computer code but we gotta look after it. After all, it's the only simulation we have running.
Reposted by Henry3000
just ate a frank. sorry. i meant a Frank. didn’t relish it but i mustered the courage to do it. took about 5 minutes (Ballpark™️ estimate)
July 16, 2025 at 3:10 PM
just ate a frank. sorry. i meant a Frank. didn’t relish it but i mustered the courage to do it. took about 5 minutes (Ballpark™️ estimate)
Reposted by Henry3000
When I see a guy wearing a knit winter cap in Phoenix, in July, I imagine he could wring a cup of sweat out of it.
July 16, 2025 at 6:56 PM
When I see a guy wearing a knit winter cap in Phoenix, in July, I imagine he could wring a cup of sweat out of it.
Reposted by Henry3000
reading between the lines (2 weeks late) has always been my forte
July 14, 2025 at 4:11 AM
reading between the lines (2 weeks late) has always been my forte
Reposted by Henry3000
Star: “I’m a luminous celestial body visible in the night sky.”
Shooting star: “I own 3 handguns and an assault rifle. ‘Merica!”
Shooting star: “I own 3 handguns and an assault rifle. ‘Merica!”
July 16, 2025 at 2:36 PM
Star: “I’m a luminous celestial body visible in the night sky.”
Shooting star: “I own 3 handguns and an assault rifle. ‘Merica!”
Shooting star: “I own 3 handguns and an assault rifle. ‘Merica!”
Reposted by Henry3000
The gluten free hoagie roll I used on the sandwich I just ate was so dry that my mouth is now Arizona.
July 16, 2025 at 5:01 PM
The gluten free hoagie roll I used on the sandwich I just ate was so dry that my mouth is now Arizona.
Reposted by Henry3000
Mr. Jones and me. We very rarely communicate anymore except for about important sporting events or consequential elections.
Na, na, na, na, na, na.
Na, na, na, na, na, na.
July 15, 2025 at 7:47 PM
Mr. Jones and me. We very rarely communicate anymore except for about important sporting events or consequential elections.
Na, na, na, na, na, na.
Na, na, na, na, na, na.
Reposted by Henry3000
Nothing but respect for 5' 3" jesus
July 16, 2025 at 7:02 PM
Nothing but respect for 5' 3" jesus
Reposted by Henry3000
first the robots sweep our floors, then they mow our lawns, and next thing we know they’re taking our ladies out to dinner because you’re too drunk watching the Cubs game
July 13, 2025 at 11:30 PM
first the robots sweep our floors, then they mow our lawns, and next thing we know they’re taking our ladies out to dinner because you’re too drunk watching the Cubs game
Reposted by Henry3000
If I end up using a mobility scooter, I’m totally bringing back jousting
July 15, 2025 at 2:37 PM
If I end up using a mobility scooter, I’m totally bringing back jousting
Reposted by Henry3000
🎶We gonna rock down to Electric Avenue🎶
Though not right now, I can't find my Discman.
Though not right now, I can't find my Discman.
July 15, 2025 at 3:46 PM
🎶We gonna rock down to Electric Avenue🎶
Though not right now, I can't find my Discman.
Though not right now, I can't find my Discman.
Reposted by Henry3000
Him: Well if you want my advice-
Me: Let me stop you right there.
Me: Let me stop you right there.
July 15, 2025 at 5:09 PM
Him: Well if you want my advice-
Me: Let me stop you right there.
Me: Let me stop you right there.
Reposted by Henry3000
Please do not be a li’l stinker, I am very sensitive and delicate.
July 15, 2025 at 7:03 PM
Please do not be a li’l stinker, I am very sensitive and delicate.
Reposted by Henry3000
Being a parent is mostly just saying the same thing over & over again. It's just saying the same thing over & over again. Over & over again. No matter how old your kids are.
July 16, 2025 at 12:29 PM
Being a parent is mostly just saying the same thing over & over again. It's just saying the same thing over & over again. Over & over again. No matter how old your kids are.
Reposted by Henry3000
Kind of like performance art, but it’s just me completely falling to pieces.
July 16, 2025 at 9:05 AM
Kind of like performance art, but it’s just me completely falling to pieces.