Hearty White
@heartywhite.bsky.social
Host of Miracle Nutrition on WFMU
Uses The Three Stooges to explain paradoxes
Inspirational Revolutionary Dada
Relational morality performance art
Shemp Jive!
Uses The Three Stooges to explain paradoxes
Inspirational Revolutionary Dada
Relational morality performance art
Shemp Jive!
If you're wondering what those gaps are in my resume, that was when you were carrying me.
November 14, 2025 at 1:07 PM
If you're wondering what those gaps are in my resume, that was when you were carrying me.
In case I ever run for office, I want to get ahead of some character issues that might come out during the campaign. So here it goes: sometimes I accidentally interupt people in conversation if I get really excited about a subject.
November 14, 2025 at 12:50 PM
In case I ever run for office, I want to get ahead of some character issues that might come out during the campaign. So here it goes: sometimes I accidentally interupt people in conversation if I get really excited about a subject.
My radio program is on tonight, so you'll have to tell folks you can't go to that thing you're trying to get out of going to.
November 13, 2025 at 4:17 PM
My radio program is on tonight, so you'll have to tell folks you can't go to that thing you're trying to get out of going to.
For years I've been trying to make people older than me laugh, but that group has been steadily shrinking in numbers.
November 13, 2025 at 12:16 PM
For years I've been trying to make people older than me laugh, but that group has been steadily shrinking in numbers.
Nixon was like, "I'm gonna resign and just concentrate on my fragrance line". Top Nixon perfumes:
1. NiXoN Rested Absolut
2. NiXoN Frost pour homme
3. NiXoN Tanned
4. NiXoN Ready
5. NiXoN détente chine
6. NiXoN Coldest Warrior
7. NiXoN ME and BEBE Rebozo in Key Biscayne
1. NiXoN Rested Absolut
2. NiXoN Frost pour homme
3. NiXoN Tanned
4. NiXoN Ready
5. NiXoN détente chine
6. NiXoN Coldest Warrior
7. NiXoN ME and BEBE Rebozo in Key Biscayne
November 12, 2025 at 8:48 PM
Nixon was like, "I'm gonna resign and just concentrate on my fragrance line". Top Nixon perfumes:
1. NiXoN Rested Absolut
2. NiXoN Frost pour homme
3. NiXoN Tanned
4. NiXoN Ready
5. NiXoN détente chine
6. NiXoN Coldest Warrior
7. NiXoN ME and BEBE Rebozo in Key Biscayne
1. NiXoN Rested Absolut
2. NiXoN Frost pour homme
3. NiXoN Tanned
4. NiXoN Ready
5. NiXoN détente chine
6. NiXoN Coldest Warrior
7. NiXoN ME and BEBE Rebozo in Key Biscayne
Having dinner with a well-known physicist/space biologist, and I'm going to have lots of questions about the crew of 3I/ATLAS!
November 12, 2025 at 8:14 PM
Having dinner with a well-known physicist/space biologist, and I'm going to have lots of questions about the crew of 3I/ATLAS!
Past presidental perfumes ranked:
1. NiXoN!
2. NiXoN! Intense
3. Obama Hope Extreme
4. Jimmy Carter Says YES
5. Bush Encore
6. Truman's Fleur de Feu
7. Calvin Coolidge's Cul lege
8. La Nuit de Johnson
1. NiXoN!
2. NiXoN! Intense
3. Obama Hope Extreme
4. Jimmy Carter Says YES
5. Bush Encore
6. Truman's Fleur de Feu
7. Calvin Coolidge's Cul lege
8. La Nuit de Johnson
November 12, 2025 at 3:28 PM
Past presidental perfumes ranked:
1. NiXoN!
2. NiXoN! Intense
3. Obama Hope Extreme
4. Jimmy Carter Says YES
5. Bush Encore
6. Truman's Fleur de Feu
7. Calvin Coolidge's Cul lege
8. La Nuit de Johnson
1. NiXoN!
2. NiXoN! Intense
3. Obama Hope Extreme
4. Jimmy Carter Says YES
5. Bush Encore
6. Truman's Fleur de Feu
7. Calvin Coolidge's Cul lege
8. La Nuit de Johnson
Iso-euginol smells like Havdalah.
November 12, 2025 at 1:44 PM
Iso-euginol smells like Havdalah.
Might do a show on Big Smell, the handful of giant, international corps that make aroma chemicals.
November 12, 2025 at 1:09 PM
Might do a show on Big Smell, the handful of giant, international corps that make aroma chemicals.
I can't watch the cartoon knowing the actual historical Scooby-Doo was super articulate and didn't have a wacky sidekick.
November 11, 2025 at 9:00 PM
I can't watch the cartoon knowing the actual historical Scooby-Doo was super articulate and didn't have a wacky sidekick.
Smelling alpha-ionone is like meeting a character actor who is in every film you love.
November 11, 2025 at 8:34 PM
Smelling alpha-ionone is like meeting a character actor who is in every film you love.
Experiencing Mandela Effect in real time as the interstellar object 31/ATLAS is now--and always has been apparently-- 3I/ATLAS. Right.
November 11, 2025 at 4:02 PM
Experiencing Mandela Effect in real time as the interstellar object 31/ATLAS is now--and always has been apparently-- 3I/ATLAS. Right.
I have worn a bowler hat unironically, and my justification is that more crazy, violent gunslingers in the american old west wore bowlers than they did cowboy hats.
November 11, 2025 at 2:49 PM
I have worn a bowler hat unironically, and my justification is that more crazy, violent gunslingers in the american old west wore bowlers than they did cowboy hats.
I was called "distinguished looking" again. Usually it's dapper. I need to switch to message tees and cargo shorts.
November 11, 2025 at 2:37 PM
I was called "distinguished looking" again. Usually it's dapper. I need to switch to message tees and cargo shorts.
One reason I don't do live performances is people aren't familiar with my work enough to come, then if they are familiar, they know to stay away.
November 10, 2025 at 2:06 PM
One reason I don't do live performances is people aren't familiar with my work enough to come, then if they are familiar, they know to stay away.
So Supertramp's argument against dreaming is that you can't put your hands in your head? So what? Weak. A lot more to dreaming than touching stuff.
November 10, 2025 at 1:17 PM
So Supertramp's argument against dreaming is that you can't put your hands in your head? So what? Weak. A lot more to dreaming than touching stuff.
I should do a whole show on Elsa Schiaparelli.
November 9, 2025 at 9:00 PM
I should do a whole show on Elsa Schiaparelli.
What did you smell today? I smelled synthetic civet. People are always jokingly saying something smells like ass, but this stuff smells like concentrated ass. If I were making a perfume called Elderly Sick Cat Sleeps on Your Face, this would be my top note.
November 7, 2025 at 5:29 PM
What did you smell today? I smelled synthetic civet. People are always jokingly saying something smells like ass, but this stuff smells like concentrated ass. If I were making a perfume called Elderly Sick Cat Sleeps on Your Face, this would be my top note.
If you're in the Lexington, KY, area at precisely the right time, please consider wandering in!
November 7, 2025 at 3:30 PM
If you're in the Lexington, KY, area at precisely the right time, please consider wandering in!
You see, the club that had a drink named after me closed. Feels like having your Hollywood handprint paved over.
November 7, 2025 at 1:10 PM
You see, the club that had a drink named after me closed. Feels like having your Hollywood handprint paved over.
I think if you have a small to medium sized business, you should start a Radio Hall of Fame Award and maybe make your favorite southern dada Hearty buddy your first recipient!
November 7, 2025 at 12:56 PM
I think if you have a small to medium sized business, you should start a Radio Hall of Fame Award and maybe make your favorite southern dada Hearty buddy your first recipient!
I'm a merciful, forgiving guy, but some heinous, horrible things should be punished with something more than "You can't call yourself prince or live in a castle."
November 6, 2025 at 11:53 PM
I'm a merciful, forgiving guy, but some heinous, horrible things should be punished with something more than "You can't call yourself prince or live in a castle."
If you like MGMT, Benzyl salicylate, and me, tonight's Miracle Nutrition is for you! I talk about memory, emotional accords, love, and intent on @wfmu.bsky.social WFMU at 6pm eastern. You're gonna like the way you imagine yourself smelling.
November 6, 2025 at 9:53 PM
If you like MGMT, Benzyl salicylate, and me, tonight's Miracle Nutrition is for you! I talk about memory, emotional accords, love, and intent on @wfmu.bsky.social WFMU at 6pm eastern. You're gonna like the way you imagine yourself smelling.
I was re-watching Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, and at least that Child Catcher didn't cover his face like a coward.
November 6, 2025 at 6:15 PM
I was re-watching Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, and at least that Child Catcher didn't cover his face like a coward.
I feel like most famous people are from Cleveland.
November 6, 2025 at 1:07 PM
I feel like most famous people are from Cleveland.