DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT!
@haveajawbreaker.bsky.social
MDNI, i don't know how much nfsw i'll do on this account but the chance is always there, i'm lurking and i'm stalking when you least expect it
Pinned
MUSE DETAILS!
Candyman :)
He/It
Funny mutant guy from Lethal League (LLB specifically), frequent padded cell escaper, doesn't talk very much
7'1
Agender Pansexual
Candyman :)
He/It
Funny mutant guy from Lethal League (LLB specifically), frequent padded cell escaper, doesn't talk very much
7'1
Agender Pansexual
*the freak is breakdancing*
March 18, 2025 at 9:03 PM
*the freak is breakdancing*
*sitting crosslegged in the corner like a freak*
March 17, 2025 at 7:34 AM
*sitting crosslegged in the corner like a freak*
*whiffing a ball past the reader's head at the fucking speed of sound???*
March 17, 2025 at 7:00 AM
*whiffing a ball past the reader's head at the fucking speed of sound???*
// i'm gonna be so fr i accidentally logged out of all of my accounts and forgot to relog into most of them
March 17, 2025 at 6:19 AM
// i'm gonna be so fr i accidentally logged out of all of my accounts and forgot to relog into most of them
oh, don't worry about it! i'll find a spot.
[ He freezes. Well shit, now he's basically a culprit isn't he? Damn it. ]
* uh.
* uh.
wow!
*long pause.*
say, is there anywhere in here someone could hypothetically hide from the police?
*long pause.*
say, is there anywhere in here someone could hypothetically hide from the police?
January 1, 2025 at 4:19 PM
oh, don't worry about it! i'll find a spot.
wow!
*long pause.*
say, is there anywhere in here someone could hypothetically hide from the police?
*long pause.*
say, is there anywhere in here someone could hypothetically hide from the police?
[ He looks at the door, now back at the man. Now back at the door, now back at the man. Should he question what just happened? He isn't really paid enough for that. ]
* hi, welcome to the library.
* we sell books, we sell potions.
* hi, welcome to the library.
* we sell books, we sell potions.
*cue a strange man with a large yellow head sliding through a nearby wall. he didn't break it or anything, he just. phased through it.*
...hello!!
...hello!!
December 31, 2024 at 6:17 AM
wow!
*long pause.*
say, is there anywhere in here someone could hypothetically hide from the police?
*long pause.*
say, is there anywhere in here someone could hypothetically hide from the police?
clearly! it's nice to have knowledgeable friends.
indeed! I do know. I know a lot of things. 😊
hm...
*froggy blink...*
okay! you seem like you would know.
*froggy blink...*
okay! you seem like you would know.
December 23, 2024 at 2:14 AM
clearly! it's nice to have knowledgeable friends.
hm...
*froggy blink...*
okay! you seem like you would know.
*froggy blink...*
okay! you seem like you would know.
...you know what, don't worry about it! It means nothing. nothing at all! 😁
don't know what? is there some kind of inside joke i don't get?
December 23, 2024 at 12:46 AM
hm...
*froggy blink...*
okay! you seem like you would know.
*froggy blink...*
okay! you seem like you would know.
don't know what? is there some kind of inside joke i don't get?
oh dear. you don't know.
what's a twink?
*was just called one.*
did they mean twinkie? those aren't candy, but i can understand the mistake!
*was just called one.*
did they mean twinkie? those aren't candy, but i can understand the mistake!
December 23, 2024 at 12:27 AM
don't know what? is there some kind of inside joke i don't get?
what's a twink?
*was just called one.*
did they mean twinkie? those aren't candy, but i can understand the mistake!
*was just called one.*
did they mean twinkie? those aren't candy, but i can understand the mistake!
December 23, 2024 at 12:17 AM
what's a twink?
*was just called one.*
did they mean twinkie? those aren't candy, but i can understand the mistake!
*was just called one.*
did they mean twinkie? those aren't candy, but i can understand the mistake!
// i couldn't decide how his head feels, i had to flip a coin to decide between muppet and bowling ball
December 21, 2024 at 1:58 AM
// i couldn't decide how his head feels, i had to flip a coin to decide between muppet and bowling ball
*cue a strange man with a large yellow head sliding through a nearby wall. he didn't break it or anything, he just. phased through it.*
...hello!!
...hello!!
@haveajawbreaker.bsky.social
[ Another day at the library, and the librarian is labeling a few potions. Today, he isn’t as tired as usual, which is surprising considering how he acts on a daily basis. Anyway, today has been slow, and nobody has shown up, but hopefully, that will change. ]
[ Another day at the library, and the librarian is labeling a few potions. Today, he isn’t as tired as usual, which is surprising considering how he acts on a daily basis. Anyway, today has been slow, and nobody has shown up, but hopefully, that will change. ]
December 21, 2024 at 12:08 AM
*cue a strange man with a large yellow head sliding through a nearby wall. he didn't break it or anything, he just. phased through it.*
...hello!!
...hello!!
some of you people just suck so much!
December 20, 2024 at 4:26 AM
some of you people just suck so much!
// some people take silly characters like candyman and infantilize them like ooOOooOO he doesn't know what sex is!!! he does, it's flirting that's the problem, he just doesn't know how that shit works
December 20, 2024 at 4:13 AM
// some people take silly characters like candyman and infantilize them like ooOOooOO he doesn't know what sex is!!! he does, it's flirting that's the problem, he just doesn't know how that shit works
// oh btw for people who don't know, he's not wearing a mascot head or anything, his head just looks like this
December 20, 2024 at 3:44 AM
// oh btw for people who don't know, he's not wearing a mascot head or anything, his head just looks like this
and me, on occasion!
like me!
they break jaws, that makes sense!
December 20, 2024 at 2:45 AM
and me, on occasion!
they break jaws, that makes sense!
[ a snap of his fingers! ]
jawbreaker! yes. never tried one myself, can't, but I hear they're quite the challenge to eat.
jawbreaker! yes. never tried one myself, can't, but I hear they're quite the challenge to eat.
that /does/ make sense, yes.
hmm.... jawbreaker?
hmm.... jawbreaker?
December 20, 2024 at 2:31 AM
they break jaws, that makes sense!
that /does/ make sense, yes.
hmm.... jawbreaker?
hmm.... jawbreaker?
your head looks like a piece of candy.
not sure what kind, though...
not sure what kind, though...
probably! nobody's never said why.
December 20, 2024 at 2:18 AM
that /does/ make sense, yes.
hmm.... jawbreaker?
hmm.... jawbreaker?
probably! nobody's never said why.
candy...man.
[ a tilt of his head. strange name. why?
analyzing...analyzing... ]
because of the head?
[ a tilt of his head. strange name. why?
analyzing...analyzing... ]
because of the head?
...
*unbowing.*
oops! i don't get to talk to people very often.
people just call me the candyman!
*unbowing.*
oops! i don't get to talk to people very often.
people just call me the candyman!
December 20, 2024 at 2:11 AM
probably! nobody's never said why.
...
*unbowing.*
oops! i don't get to talk to people very often.
people just call me the candyman!
*unbowing.*
oops! i don't get to talk to people very often.
people just call me the candyman!
[ ...."okay"? ]
aren't you...going to introduce yourself?
aren't you...going to introduce yourself?
okay!
*odd response. bowing again, even though he. just bowed.*
*odd response. bowing again, even though he. just bowed.*
December 20, 2024 at 1:53 AM
...
*unbowing.*
oops! i don't get to talk to people very often.
people just call me the candyman!
*unbowing.*
oops! i don't get to talk to people very often.
people just call me the candyman!
okay!
*odd response. bowing again, even though he. just bowed.*
*odd response. bowing again, even though he. just bowed.*
a pleasure is well. call me adleigh alexander nivinoir.
[ bowing. always using his full ass name. such strange eyes. meanwhile, his seemed like...rubies, in coloring. ]
[ bowing. always using his full ass name. such strange eyes. meanwhile, his seemed like...rubies, in coloring. ]
ah!!
*it looks like he shouldn't even be able to see, but. he seems fine. kind of returning the stare.*
that makes sense. a pleasure to have similar company!
*it looks like he shouldn't even be able to see, but. he seems fine. kind of returning the stare.*
that makes sense. a pleasure to have similar company!
December 20, 2024 at 1:20 AM
okay!
*odd response. bowing again, even though he. just bowed.*
*odd response. bowing again, even though he. just bowed.*