I don't recall buying tickets to this dick swinging contest.

Maybe the real treasure was the tiny free library we found along the way.

"WHEEEEEEEEE!!"-Me, in a downward spiral.

The church people are mad at the church lady for saying the church things inside the church.
What a time to be alive, lol.

Me buying another red lipstick:
But surely this is the red lipstick that is going to make me love and accept myself, lol.

I've decided it's time to try and take up painting, to learn another language and to figure out what the fuck to do with my arms while I'm sleeping.

Friends, Romans, countrymen, what the actual fuck?

Me: Gosh, I don't feel like I'm 50!
My knees: You sure about that, bitch?

I'm bringing a real Celestial Seasonings kind of vibe to the club.

Take your hope and make it unfuckwithable.