Sarah M
@fancypance.bsky.social
Indianapolis, because you’ve got to live somewhere.
Had to go to the Xfinity store in Avon and it smelled like bad cologne and farts. The clerk who helped us noticed my husband's menthol cough drop breath. So I'm sure the clerk smelled the farts and cologne too. Poor guy. I'm giving him 10/10 on the feedback survey.
November 23, 2025 at 8:43 PM
Had to go to the Xfinity store in Avon and it smelled like bad cologne and farts. The clerk who helped us noticed my husband's menthol cough drop breath. So I'm sure the clerk smelled the farts and cologne too. Poor guy. I'm giving him 10/10 on the feedback survey.
At the age where I see long lost classmates and I can't tell whether the kids in their photos are their children or grandchildren.
November 23, 2025 at 3:04 PM
At the age where I see long lost classmates and I can't tell whether the kids in their photos are their children or grandchildren.
Just got back from NYC and have learned of the only acceptable use of listening to music/video without headphones in public.
November 14, 2025 at 9:46 PM
Just got back from NYC and have learned of the only acceptable use of listening to music/video without headphones in public.
Considering restarting the "invite everyone we know" Sunday brunches. I feel like we need a hook though, and maybe opening this bad boy from my in-laws house after 40 years is just the thing.
November 2, 2025 at 4:07 PM
Considering restarting the "invite everyone we know" Sunday brunches. I feel like we need a hook though, and maybe opening this bad boy from my in-laws house after 40 years is just the thing.
I've long been a believer in "no is a complete sentence" but am finally living the advice of "you don't have to respond every question you're asked."
At my volunteer gig this morning a church group was also there and one asked everyone "what church to do you go to?!"
Nope.
At my volunteer gig this morning a church group was also there and one asked everyone "what church to do you go to?!"
Nope.
November 1, 2025 at 10:47 PM
I've long been a believer in "no is a complete sentence" but am finally living the advice of "you don't have to respond every question you're asked."
At my volunteer gig this morning a church group was also there and one asked everyone "what church to do you go to?!"
Nope.
At my volunteer gig this morning a church group was also there and one asked everyone "what church to do you go to?!"
Nope.
54 kids in total tonight. Next year I'm leaning in to the Little Debbie Cosmic Brownie. They went fast.
Here is what they selected:
12 Cosmic Brownies
11 Twix
9 Star Crunch
7 Snickers
6 plain M&M
5 Milky Way
4 peanut M&M
Here is what they selected:
12 Cosmic Brownies
11 Twix
9 Star Crunch
7 Snickers
6 plain M&M
5 Milky Way
4 peanut M&M
November 1, 2025 at 1:25 AM
54 kids in total tonight. Next year I'm leaning in to the Little Debbie Cosmic Brownie. They went fast.
Here is what they selected:
12 Cosmic Brownies
11 Twix
9 Star Crunch
7 Snickers
6 plain M&M
5 Milky Way
4 peanut M&M
Here is what they selected:
12 Cosmic Brownies
11 Twix
9 Star Crunch
7 Snickers
6 plain M&M
5 Milky Way
4 peanut M&M
Today someone stormed down to my office and tried to prove to me that we should implement the very process I was proposing, had they only read it. They also had bad breath and sweat stink and I feel I should be entitled to compensation.
October 24, 2025 at 9:40 PM
Today someone stormed down to my office and tried to prove to me that we should implement the very process I was proposing, had they only read it. They also had bad breath and sweat stink and I feel I should be entitled to compensation.
Today I was surprised to learn that the now-iconic inflatable frog costume is in stock and available for purchase. Tempting.
October 18, 2025 at 9:47 PM
Today I was surprised to learn that the now-iconic inflatable frog costume is in stock and available for purchase. Tempting.
Do you ever just want to apologize to (and thank) anyone who could stand to be your friend when you were a dumb young person?
October 15, 2025 at 1:19 AM
Do you ever just want to apologize to (and thank) anyone who could stand to be your friend when you were a dumb young person?
Stan is at Tonic Ball practice so the dogs and I are listening to Tupac.
October 15, 2025 at 1:04 AM
Stan is at Tonic Ball practice so the dogs and I are listening to Tupac.
Feeling crappy from my second dose of the shingles vaccine. I can't find anything to binge watch that feels just right. Finished the Charlie Sheen docuseries lat night. Watched 2 episodes of Too Much and it's just OK.
October 11, 2025 at 8:01 PM
Feeling crappy from my second dose of the shingles vaccine. I can't find anything to binge watch that feels just right. Finished the Charlie Sheen docuseries lat night. Watched 2 episodes of Too Much and it's just OK.
Last night I had panic dreams about work. Logged in this morning to find a company-wide email acknowledging World Mental Health Day. Huh.
October 10, 2025 at 10:08 PM
Last night I had panic dreams about work. Logged in this morning to find a company-wide email acknowledging World Mental Health Day. Huh.
Feeling nonspecifically terrible today, which is probably related to jet lag, but I’m blaming the indignity of using the stinky and untidy toilet on the long flight from Vienna. If I turn into a zombie, don’t be surprised.
October 3, 2025 at 4:22 PM
Feeling nonspecifically terrible today, which is probably related to jet lag, but I’m blaming the indignity of using the stinky and untidy toilet on the long flight from Vienna. If I turn into a zombie, don’t be surprised.
Back after over a week in Europe. The Americans seem so…Americany.
October 1, 2025 at 8:32 PM
Back after over a week in Europe. The Americans seem so…Americany.
When you’re jet lagged and slightly nauseated the last thing you want to see on a breakfast buffet is “tuna in its own juices”
September 25, 2025 at 6:31 AM
When you’re jet lagged and slightly nauseated the last thing you want to see on a breakfast buffet is “tuna in its own juices”
I’m never sure what to say when someone says I look way younger than my age. Thanks, I guess? But, aging is fine! It’s 90% luck how a person looks. I’ve worn sunscreen, and lifted some weights but I’ve also eaten a lot of Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers and loved a socially smoked clove cigarette in the 90s
September 24, 2025 at 6:19 PM
I’m never sure what to say when someone says I look way younger than my age. Thanks, I guess? But, aging is fine! It’s 90% luck how a person looks. I’ve worn sunscreen, and lifted some weights but I’ve also eaten a lot of Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers and loved a socially smoked clove cigarette in the 90s
My mom is not that great at technology but I respect that she’s good at texting and never ever types LOL.
September 24, 2025 at 3:36 PM
My mom is not that great at technology but I respect that she’s good at texting and never ever types LOL.
Reposted by Sarah M
Idea for phone trees: make the first option something like "I have already tried the website and it says I need to call" so you don't have to listen to three minutes of how their website is the next coming of jesus.
September 22, 2025 at 6:30 PM
Idea for phone trees: make the first option something like "I have already tried the website and it says I need to call" so you don't have to listen to three minutes of how their website is the next coming of jesus.
We’ve lived in Clermont for years and we’re finally checking out the parade. Everyone has arrived with a plastic bag except us. Street candy collection I guess?
September 20, 2025 at 2:56 PM
We’ve lived in Clermont for years and we’re finally checking out the parade. Everyone has arrived with a plastic bag except us. Street candy collection I guess?
A neighbor invited me to do a “walk and talk” this weekend which sounds lovely, because we’re building a friendship, so I curse those from the past who’ve made me wary by being friendly and then trying to get me into an MLM or something.
September 20, 2025 at 2:52 AM
A neighbor invited me to do a “walk and talk” this weekend which sounds lovely, because we’re building a friendship, so I curse those from the past who’ve made me wary by being friendly and then trying to get me into an MLM or something.
Why couldn’t we have a dictator who loves public transit and affordable healthcare?
September 18, 2025 at 1:47 AM
Why couldn’t we have a dictator who loves public transit and affordable healthcare?
That thing where a coworker tells you they had a long conversation with a director level person, it lasted 2.5 hours, the director started with general religious musings and ended with whether the earth was round and if the government is run by lizards in human costumes.
I don’t know how to…
I don’t know how to…
September 16, 2025 at 6:28 PM
That thing where a coworker tells you they had a long conversation with a director level person, it lasted 2.5 hours, the director started with general religious musings and ended with whether the earth was round and if the government is run by lizards in human costumes.
I don’t know how to…
I don’t know how to…
That thing where the garage clean up over the weekend went so well you want to invite people over and say, “just look at it!”
September 15, 2025 at 8:21 PM
That thing where the garage clean up over the weekend went so well you want to invite people over and say, “just look at it!”
Cleaning the garage and found a step ladder my uncle left here years ago. He’s 75 and I’m not giving it back. He has plenty of money and has no business on that thing.
September 14, 2025 at 5:57 PM
Cleaning the garage and found a step ladder my uncle left here years ago. He’s 75 and I’m not giving it back. He has plenty of money and has no business on that thing.
Bad news: the people who were supposed to come demolition derby flakes on us
Good news: I know they’re flaky and when they asked if I would buy all the tickets and they could Venmo I said NOPE. Go ahead manage that yourselves.
Still sucks, though.
Good news: I know they’re flaky and when they asked if I would buy all the tickets and they could Venmo I said NOPE. Go ahead manage that yourselves.
Still sucks, though.
September 13, 2025 at 9:11 PM
Bad news: the people who were supposed to come demolition derby flakes on us
Good news: I know they’re flaky and when they asked if I would buy all the tickets and they could Venmo I said NOPE. Go ahead manage that yourselves.
Still sucks, though.
Good news: I know they’re flaky and when they asked if I would buy all the tickets and they could Venmo I said NOPE. Go ahead manage that yourselves.
Still sucks, though.