Emz Monsoon
@emmageddon.bsky.social
Local Cryptid. Bog Witch. Certified Crone.
There's nothing that humbles you like putting on freshly washed jeans.
November 20, 2025 at 9:46 PM
There's nothing that humbles you like putting on freshly washed jeans.
I love going into clothes shops this time of year.
All the sequin and smart jackets, it's like Liza Minnelli's estate sale.
All the sequin and smart jackets, it's like Liza Minnelli's estate sale.
November 19, 2025 at 9:46 PM
I love going into clothes shops this time of year.
All the sequin and smart jackets, it's like Liza Minnelli's estate sale.
All the sequin and smart jackets, it's like Liza Minnelli's estate sale.
I've be watching Amazon's latest 'thriller' because I love a bit of nonsense. It stars Jack Whitehall.
And he's meant to be this mysterious conman Tom Ripley type. But it's Jack Whitehall.
He's meant to be all brooding and dangerous but it's Jack FUCKING Whitehall.
Weird stunt casting.
And he's meant to be this mysterious conman Tom Ripley type. But it's Jack Whitehall.
He's meant to be all brooding and dangerous but it's Jack FUCKING Whitehall.
Weird stunt casting.
November 18, 2025 at 7:20 PM
I've be watching Amazon's latest 'thriller' because I love a bit of nonsense. It stars Jack Whitehall.
And he's meant to be this mysterious conman Tom Ripley type. But it's Jack Whitehall.
He's meant to be all brooding and dangerous but it's Jack FUCKING Whitehall.
Weird stunt casting.
And he's meant to be this mysterious conman Tom Ripley type. But it's Jack Whitehall.
He's meant to be all brooding and dangerous but it's Jack FUCKING Whitehall.
Weird stunt casting.
Reposted by Emz Monsoon
I've mentioned this quietly, but - since the summer my hobby has been making this ambitious murder mystery podcast. A story. Narrated by me, with a mouthwatering cast. Partly interactive. Trailer is coming tomorrow but if you like the sound of this, please follow @murderbastard.bsky.social.
November 18, 2025 at 6:40 PM
I've mentioned this quietly, but - since the summer my hobby has been making this ambitious murder mystery podcast. A story. Narrated by me, with a mouthwatering cast. Partly interactive. Trailer is coming tomorrow but if you like the sound of this, please follow @murderbastard.bsky.social.
Just you and I, defying CAVITIES!
November 14, 2025 at 9:39 PM
Just you and I, defying CAVITIES!
Surely, in both cases, it really depends who's playing?
November 13, 2025 at 10:30 AM
Surely, in both cases, it really depends who's playing?
Every single social media platform needs to stop showing me the clips from from Oscar Isaac's GQ shoot, I have things i need to do and zero self control.
November 11, 2025 at 11:45 PM
Every single social media platform needs to stop showing me the clips from from Oscar Isaac's GQ shoot, I have things i need to do and zero self control.
Happy Horny Frankenstein Day to all who are celebrating
November 7, 2025 at 5:26 PM
Happy Horny Frankenstein Day to all who are celebrating
Reposted by Emz Monsoon
"How are we going to show it's a dress for a CHRISTMAS party though?"
"I don't know, give her a random chunk of a christmas tree?"
"Dave, you're a fucking genius."
"I don't know, give her a random chunk of a christmas tree?"
"Dave, you're a fucking genius."
November 5, 2025 at 8:19 PM
"How are we going to show it's a dress for a CHRISTMAS party though?"
"I don't know, give her a random chunk of a christmas tree?"
"Dave, you're a fucking genius."
"I don't know, give her a random chunk of a christmas tree?"
"Dave, you're a fucking genius."
I am, somehow, all three.
Everybody needs three types of friends: one actual adult friend to give you good advice when you need it, one introvert friend who always just wants to watch movies in their pajamas, and then also a tight-knit gang of cantankerous yet clumsy raccoons for capers and hijinks
November 5, 2025 at 7:46 PM
I am, somehow, all three.
Idea for the next ten years of Halloween costumes: Bill Murray in Groundhog Day.
October 31, 2025 at 6:03 PM
Idea for the next ten years of Halloween costumes: Bill Murray in Groundhog Day.
Fantastic news! Never read anything by Ronson I've not loved.
I am delighted to announce my new book, THE CASTLE. It's available for preorder now! The video is too big and awesome to post here, but you can watch it here: www.instagram.com/p/DQby3y-EWko/
October 30, 2025 at 1:10 PM
Fantastic news! Never read anything by Ronson I've not loved.
Has a woman ever been hotter than Isabella Rossellini in Death Becomes Her?
October 26, 2025 at 9:14 PM
Has a woman ever been hotter than Isabella Rossellini in Death Becomes Her?
I'm going to a Halloween party tomorrow dressed as a sexy witch.
What makes it a witch costume? It involves a pointed hat and stripey tights.
What makes it a sexy costume? I'm wearing it.
What makes it a witch costume? It involves a pointed hat and stripey tights.
What makes it a sexy costume? I'm wearing it.
October 24, 2025 at 5:24 PM
I'm going to a Halloween party tomorrow dressed as a sexy witch.
What makes it a witch costume? It involves a pointed hat and stripey tights.
What makes it a sexy costume? I'm wearing it.
What makes it a witch costume? It involves a pointed hat and stripey tights.
What makes it a sexy costume? I'm wearing it.
Picked up a proper True Crime artefact in the charity shop today!
October 11, 2025 at 11:11 AM
Picked up a proper True Crime artefact in the charity shop today!
The older you get, the more scrotal the skin on your eyelids becomes.
I don't know if you've ever tried applying eyeliner to a ball sack, but it's not ideal.
I don't know if you've ever tried applying eyeliner to a ball sack, but it's not ideal.
October 10, 2025 at 3:11 PM
The older you get, the more scrotal the skin on your eyelids becomes.
I don't know if you've ever tried applying eyeliner to a ball sack, but it's not ideal.
I don't know if you've ever tried applying eyeliner to a ball sack, but it's not ideal.
Can I offer you a purring kitten in these trying times?
October 7, 2025 at 5:12 PM
Can I offer you a purring kitten in these trying times?
Danny Glover was 42 in Lethal Weapon and that makes so much sense because I am also getting too old for this shit.
October 4, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Danny Glover was 42 in Lethal Weapon and that makes so much sense because I am also getting too old for this shit.
Whilst the aim of this year's 31 for 31 is to watch more new spooky/horror films, last night's was such a bummer today had to be a reliable classic.
October 2, 2025 at 8:04 PM
Whilst the aim of this year's 31 for 31 is to watch more new spooky/horror films, last night's was such a bummer today had to be a reliable classic.
I saw a person on an electric scooter, wearing a back pack that had massive digital eyes, which looked around and blinked, and I just think it's wise of them to take measures to ward off their natural predators.
October 1, 2025 at 7:08 AM
I saw a person on an electric scooter, wearing a back pack that had massive digital eyes, which looked around and blinked, and I just think it's wise of them to take measures to ward off their natural predators.
What did Kathy Najimy do to offend the design team at Disney? This is a hate crime.
September 28, 2025 at 8:28 PM
What did Kathy Najimy do to offend the design team at Disney? This is a hate crime.
What if I say "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable..." and it's just the Skinny Dip Patty and Selma themed pjs?
September 28, 2025 at 7:30 PM
What if I say "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable..." and it's just the Skinny Dip Patty and Selma themed pjs?
The amount of people who have been cheered up by me telling them The Rapture is today is frankly concerning.
September 23, 2025 at 8:11 AM
The amount of people who have been cheered up by me telling them The Rapture is today is frankly concerning.