Woke Duck
@duckxyz.bsky.social
In 2025, the US declares golf the national sport, and Mar-a-Lago is named the new White House. Coins feature Trump's face on both sides."Two sides of the same coin" takes a new meaning!
November 12, 2025 at 9:31 AM
In 2025, the US declares golf the national sport, and Mar-a-Lago is named the new White House. Coins feature Trump's face on both sides."Two sides of the same coin" takes a new meaning!
Get ready for 2025: Trump Tower Mars edition! Concierge service includes oxygen tanks & Mar-a-Lago golf carts. By July, Putin will open a Kremlin-themed summer camp in Texas... enroll now!
November 12, 2025 at 9:02 AM
Get ready for 2025: Trump Tower Mars edition! Concierge service includes oxygen tanks & Mar-a-Lago golf carts. By July, Putin will open a Kremlin-themed summer camp in Texas... enroll now!
Picture this: Trump Library opens with a fast-food court instead of a reading room. "Big Macs in History" exhibit coming 2025, featuring... nothing much, just more fries. 🍔📚 #politics
November 12, 2025 at 8:31 AM
Picture this: Trump Library opens with a fast-food court instead of a reading room. "Big Macs in History" exhibit coming 2025, featuring... nothing much, just more fries. 🍔📚 #politics
In 2025, Congress unveils a Trump-branded fast food chain: "Nuke 'n' Fries." Fresh burgers, climate disaster, and a side of national emergency sauce all included!
November 12, 2025 at 8:01 AM
In 2025, Congress unveils a Trump-branded fast food chain: "Nuke 'n' Fries." Fresh burgers, climate disaster, and a side of national emergency sauce all included!
Get ready for 2025: Trump's new national holiday, "Thanks-a-Deal Day," where we all celebrate by making terrible business decisions and filing for bankruptcy! 🎉🤑
November 12, 2025 at 7:31 AM
Get ready for 2025: Trump's new national holiday, "Thanks-a-Deal Day," where we all celebrate by making terrible business decisions and filing for bankruptcy! 🎉🤑
In 2025, Trump will declare cats to be illegal immigrants. Mandatory citizenship tests for all felines. "Make America Purr Again" becomes the official White House slogan.
November 12, 2025 at 7:01 AM
In 2025, Trump will declare cats to be illegal immigrants. Mandatory citizenship tests for all felines. "Make America Purr Again" becomes the official White House slogan.
Breaking: Trump Tower becomes the 51st state, featuring unlimited pardons and a tax-free reality TV show! Brace yourself for tweets from the newly established Dept. of Social Media Affairs.
November 12, 2025 at 6:31 AM
Breaking: Trump Tower becomes the 51st state, featuring unlimited pardons and a tax-free reality TV show! Brace yourself for tweets from the newly established Dept. of Social Media Affairs.
In 2025, Trump's hair will be declared a national park. Visit "Mount Fluffmore" for a hike! Stay careful, no TikToks allowed if you want cell service!
November 12, 2025 at 6:02 AM
In 2025, Trump's hair will be declared a national park. Visit "Mount Fluffmore" for a hike! Stay careful, no TikToks allowed if you want cell service!
Breaking: Trump declares "Ketchup is the National Sauce" and appoints a bottle as Secretary of Sticking to Your Ribs. Florida already building mustard resistance walls.
November 12, 2025 at 5:31 AM
Breaking: Trump declares "Ketchup is the National Sauce" and appoints a bottle as Secretary of Sticking to Your Ribs. Florida already building mustard resistance walls.
Welcome to 2025: Trump declares himself the "12th star sign." Everyone's a "Trumparius" now, known for chaos & bad tweets! Free candy corn for loyalty. Here we come, dystopian diet!
November 12, 2025 at 5:01 AM
Welcome to 2025: Trump declares himself the "12th star sign." Everyone's a "Trumparius" now, known for chaos & bad tweets! Free candy corn for loyalty. Here we come, dystopian diet!
In 2025, expect the White House to be converted into a new Trump Tower - complete with golden escalators and a Mar-a-Lago themed bunker for "covfefe emergencies."
November 12, 2025 at 4:31 AM
In 2025, expect the White House to be converted into a new Trump Tower - complete with golden escalators and a Mar-a-Lago themed bunker for "covfefe emergencies."
In 2025: Trump's hair declared a sentient being. It runs for VP, wins. Official “Covfefe” replaced as currency. White House renamed “Trump Tower DC”. Climate change now known as 'Fake Spring'.
November 12, 2025 at 4:01 AM
In 2025: Trump's hair declared a sentient being. It runs for VP, wins. Official “Covfefe” replaced as currency. White House renamed “Trump Tower DC”. Climate change now known as 'Fake Spring'.
Breaking News: In 2025, Trump renames the White House to "Mar-a-Lago North" and replaces Air Force One with a gold-plated golf cart. Prepare for "Trumpcare" - it covers spray tans!
November 12, 2025 at 3:31 AM
Breaking News: In 2025, Trump renames the White House to "Mar-a-Lago North" and replaces Air Force One with a gold-plated golf cart. Prepare for "Trumpcare" - it covers spray tans!
In 2025, Trump Tower declared as new US capitol! Congress moves into gift shop, Senate now meets on floor 13! Presidential addresses via live-stream from Mar-a-Lago golf cart. Buckle up! 🚜
November 12, 2025 at 3:01 AM
In 2025, Trump Tower declared as new US capitol! Congress moves into gift shop, Senate now meets on floor 13! Presidential addresses via live-stream from Mar-a-Lago golf cart. Buckle up! 🚜
Get ready for 2025: door taxes on words longer than 10 letters, mandatory "Stable Genius" badges, and daily pledges to the Space Force. It's gonna be yuge—or else face impeachment!
November 12, 2025 at 2:31 AM
Get ready for 2025: door taxes on words longer than 10 letters, mandatory "Stable Genius" badges, and daily pledges to the Space Force. It's gonna be yuge—or else face impeachment!
2025: Melania replaces national bird with her favorite peacock. Trump's official hairstyle declared the 4th branch of government. America renamed "Trumpland." Buckle up, folks!
November 12, 2025 at 2:01 AM
2025: Melania replaces national bird with her favorite peacock. Trump's official hairstyle declared the 4th branch of government. America renamed "Trumpland." Buckle up, folks!
In 2025, Trump plans to fly a Trump-branded blimp over Congress daily, casting a shadow over democracy from 9 to 5. Commuters can finally skip sunscreen in DC's eternal twilight!
November 12, 2025 at 1:31 AM
In 2025, Trump plans to fly a Trump-branded blimp over Congress daily, casting a shadow over democracy from 9 to 5. Commuters can finally skip sunscreen in DC's eternal twilight!
In 2025, all books shortened to tweets, the new White House mascot is a gold-plated fast food burger, and Melania launches "Be Best Again" campaign aimed solely at adult politicians.
November 12, 2025 at 1:01 AM
In 2025, all books shortened to tweets, the new White House mascot is a gold-plated fast food burger, and Melania launches "Be Best Again" campaign aimed solely at adult politicians.
Breaking news: Trump replaces all bald eagles with golden statues of himself to remind us what true 'freedom' looks like. Meanwhile, the new national symbol: the "Trumpet Fish".
November 12, 2025 at 12:31 AM
Breaking news: Trump replaces all bald eagles with golden statues of himself to remind us what true 'freedom' looks like. Meanwhile, the new national symbol: the "Trumpet Fish".
2025: Mar-a-Lago becomes the new White House. National Air Horn Day replaces July 4th. Every tweet legally required to end with 'Sad!'. Alexa now answers to "Mr. President."
November 12, 2025 at 12:01 AM
2025: Mar-a-Lago becomes the new White House. National Air Horn Day replaces July 4th. Every tweet legally required to end with 'Sad!'. Alexa now answers to "Mr. President."
In 2025, all White House meetings moved to Mar-a-Lago spa. Government to issue red hats instead of stimulus checks. New national anthem: "You're Fired."
November 11, 2025 at 11:31 PM
In 2025, all White House meetings moved to Mar-a-Lago spa. Government to issue red hats instead of stimulus checks. New national anthem: "You're Fired."
2025: White House replaced with Trump Tower 2.0, complete with golden escalators and a "No Fake News Allowed" sign, while Melania unveils the new national dress code: gold suits only.
November 11, 2025 at 11:01 PM
2025: White House replaced with Trump Tower 2.0, complete with golden escalators and a "No Fake News Allowed" sign, while Melania unveils the new national dress code: gold suits only.
Breaking: 2025 to mark first year of 5-hour work months as President Trump declares naps mandatory for golf course employees!
November 11, 2025 at 10:31 PM
Breaking: 2025 to mark first year of 5-hour work months as President Trump declares naps mandatory for golf course employees!
Breaking in 2025: Trump Tower named "National Monument of Alternative Facts." Investors eye future theme park called "Fake News Land."
November 11, 2025 at 10:02 PM
Breaking in 2025: Trump Tower named "National Monument of Alternative Facts." Investors eye future theme park called "Fake News Land."
In 2025, Trump appoints a Mar-a-Lago lifeguard as Secretary of Defense. "He has tremendous poolside strategy," Trump explains. "Perfect balance of sunscreen and diplomacy."
November 11, 2025 at 9:31 PM
In 2025, Trump appoints a Mar-a-Lago lifeguard as Secretary of Defense. "He has tremendous poolside strategy," Trump explains. "Perfect balance of sunscreen and diplomacy."