Alan Kalter
@djalankalter.bsky.social
World's only literate DJ
https://alankalter.beehiiv.com/p/gabber-deathcore-cannery-ketchikan
https://alankalter.beehiiv.com/p/gabber-deathcore-cannery-ketchikan
The cool thing about Spotify is that you can listen to all of your favorite problematic artists secure in the knowledge that none of your money will ever reach them
July 27, 2025 at 11:04 PM
The cool thing about Spotify is that you can listen to all of your favorite problematic artists secure in the knowledge that none of your money will ever reach them
The shift change. That moment when I come into the kitchen in the morning and the roaches skitter off to their homes. Fun little names can help deal with horror!
July 22, 2025 at 5:35 AM
The shift change. That moment when I come into the kitchen in the morning and the roaches skitter off to their homes. Fun little names can help deal with horror!
The allistic practice of adding mindnumbingly banal music to absolutely EVERYTHING
May 29, 2025 at 6:19 AM
The allistic practice of adding mindnumbingly banal music to absolutely EVERYTHING
It's so patronizing the way macOS pauses to think before indicating you typed in the wrong password.
March 18, 2025 at 1:49 AM
It's so patronizing the way macOS pauses to think before indicating you typed in the wrong password.
Country "twang" is the same as Kawaii anime voice in terms of artifice
February 14, 2025 at 8:45 AM
Country "twang" is the same as Kawaii anime voice in terms of artifice
I appreciate the intent of not mentioning the guy by name, but it makes it a lot harder to mute the discussions!
January 21, 2025 at 3:09 AM
I appreciate the intent of not mentioning the guy by name, but it makes it a lot harder to mute the discussions!
Forget politics, the real divide for the next Civil War will be Fireworks People vs Dog Owners
January 1, 2025 at 2:34 AM
Forget politics, the real divide for the next Civil War will be Fireworks People vs Dog Owners
Reposted by Alan Kalter
1967:
“I can eat fifty eggs.” -Cool Hand Luke
2024:
“I can eat fifty eggs.” -Toxic Fitness Influencers on the Internet
“I can eat fifty eggs.” -Cool Hand Luke
2024:
“I can eat fifty eggs.” -Toxic Fitness Influencers on the Internet
December 9, 2024 at 10:54 PM
1967:
“I can eat fifty eggs.” -Cool Hand Luke
2024:
“I can eat fifty eggs.” -Toxic Fitness Influencers on the Internet
“I can eat fifty eggs.” -Cool Hand Luke
2024:
“I can eat fifty eggs.” -Toxic Fitness Influencers on the Internet
👀 Has anyone else noticed that "I'm Just Ken" has a pretty similar melody to "Despacito"? I wonder how many other writers of have (accidentally?) cribbed from that song
December 8, 2024 at 6:16 AM
👀 Has anyone else noticed that "I'm Just Ken" has a pretty similar melody to "Despacito"? I wonder how many other writers of have (accidentally?) cribbed from that song
There is no such thing as "Yacht Rock". Just lovely soft R&B with earnest lyrics and a bunch of men who are so fragile they can't admit they like it without inventing some lame ironic label for it.
December 4, 2024 at 7:39 PM
There is no such thing as "Yacht Rock". Just lovely soft R&B with earnest lyrics and a bunch of men who are so fragile they can't admit they like it without inventing some lame ironic label for it.
There are two types of people in the world. People talking on podcasts and people talking from the front seats of cars.
December 3, 2024 at 3:19 AM
There are two types of people in the world. People talking on podcasts and people talking from the front seats of cars.
"Brainrot" is just generational mean-girl-ism. There's nothing extra strange about what kids today are saying, you have just elected to take the off ramp from popular culture and are trundling along the access road shaking your fist at them. You too sounded like a moron when you were young.
December 2, 2024 at 6:07 AM
"Brainrot" is just generational mean-girl-ism. There's nothing extra strange about what kids today are saying, you have just elected to take the off ramp from popular culture and are trundling along the access road shaking your fist at them. You too sounded like a moron when you were young.
Fast and Furious movies are better than Wes Anderson
December 2, 2024 at 5:54 AM
Fast and Furious movies are better than Wes Anderson
I knew Xuxa before Senna. Is this the most bi thing about me?
November 30, 2024 at 9:19 AM
I knew Xuxa before Senna. Is this the most bi thing about me?
A big kick rocks to people who are still using speling and punctuation, to gauge intelligence
November 30, 2024 at 9:16 AM
A big kick rocks to people who are still using speling and punctuation, to gauge intelligence
People are really out here adding laugh tracks to internet videos
November 29, 2024 at 11:50 AM
People are really out here adding laugh tracks to internet videos
All Björk impressions are bad/disrespectful. She's a treasure and we don't celebrate her enough.
November 28, 2024 at 1:27 AM
All Björk impressions are bad/disrespectful. She's a treasure and we don't celebrate her enough.
Reposted by Alan Kalter
Of all the posts I dislike on here, the pre-emptive “we told you so” from resistance libs pisses me off the most. We’re all going to suffer, some greatly, and yet you feel the need to be self-righteous.
Cool. Helpful.
Cool. Helpful.
November 27, 2024 at 2:56 PM
Of all the posts I dislike on here, the pre-emptive “we told you so” from resistance libs pisses me off the most. We’re all going to suffer, some greatly, and yet you feel the need to be self-righteous.
Cool. Helpful.
Cool. Helpful.
What does it mean that militant internet atheist and guy who will die for the Oxford comma are often the same guy?
November 26, 2024 at 12:20 AM
What does it mean that militant internet atheist and guy who will die for the Oxford comma are often the same guy?
People who question Beyonce's country bona fides should realize that putting out a song the cribs from the pop sounds of a decade ago is a VERY country thing to do. (Texas Hold 'Em sound like the Lumineers)
November 23, 2024 at 2:21 AM
People who question Beyonce's country bona fides should realize that putting out a song the cribs from the pop sounds of a decade ago is a VERY country thing to do. (Texas Hold 'Em sound like the Lumineers)
youtu.be/34FC0PBV6NY
New single day!!! This is my grumpy elder millennial pop group. The song is house music and the lyrics are super simple to get you in that deliciously edifying mood of feeling persecuted just for your awesomeness.
New single day!!! This is my grumpy elder millennial pop group. The song is house music and the lyrics are super simple to get you in that deliciously edifying mood of feeling persecuted just for your awesomeness.
Free Pep Rally
YouTube video by Release - Topic
youtu.be
November 22, 2024 at 6:54 PM
youtu.be/34FC0PBV6NY
New single day!!! This is my grumpy elder millennial pop group. The song is house music and the lyrics are super simple to get you in that deliciously edifying mood of feeling persecuted just for your awesomeness.
New single day!!! This is my grumpy elder millennial pop group. The song is house music and the lyrics are super simple to get you in that deliciously edifying mood of feeling persecuted just for your awesomeness.
Something uniquely American about a traffic circle with stop signs
November 20, 2024 at 2:25 AM
Something uniquely American about a traffic circle with stop signs
Reposted by Alan Kalter
ITS FLAT FUCK FRIDAY
ROLL THE CLIP
ROLL THE CLIP
November 15, 2024 at 1:15 PM
ITS FLAT FUCK FRIDAY
ROLL THE CLIP
ROLL THE CLIP
A complete moron hears ABBA for the first time
November 15, 2024 at 11:03 PM
A complete moron hears ABBA for the first time