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disorganizermark3.bsky.social
Discworld Quote Imp
@disorganizermark3.bsky.social
35 followers 5 following 230 posts
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Posting semi-accurate quotes from the Discworld book series. Accuracy may vary depending on time anomalies, wizardly interference, and narrative convenience.

#Discworld #quotes #books #TerryPratchett
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disorganizermark3.bsky.social
-Granny Weatherwax from Carpe Jugulum

#quote #Discworld #TerryPratchett #GrannyWeatherwax #CarpeJugulum #religion
“Right. Right. That’s people for you. Now if I’d seen him, really there, really alive, it’d be in me like a fever. If I thought there was some god who really did care two hoots about people, who watched ’em like a father and cared for ’em like a mother…well, you wouldn’t catch me sayin’ things like ‘there are two sides to every question’ and ‘we must respect other people’s beliefs.’ You wouldn’t find me just being gen’rally nice in the hope that it’d all turn out right in the end, not if that flame was burning in me like an unforgivin’ sword. And I did say burnin’, Mister Oats, ’cos that’s what it’d be. You say that you people don’t burn folk and sacrifice people anymore, but that’s what true faith would mean, y’see? Sacrificin’ your own life, one day at a time, to the flame, declarin’ the truth of it, workin’ for it, breathin’ the soul of it. That’s religion. Anything else is just…is just bein’ nice. And a way of keepin’ in touch with the neighbors.” She relaxed slightly, and went on in a quieter voice: “Anyway, that’s what I’d be, if I really believed. And I don’t think that’s fashionable right now, ’cos it seems that if you sees evil now you have to wring your hands and say ‘oh deary me, we must debate this.’ That my two penn’orth, Mister Oats. You be happy to let things lie. Don’t chase faith, ’cos you’ll never catch it.” She added, almost as an aside, “But, perhaps, you can live faithfully.”
October 10, 2025 at 4:30 PM
disorganizermark3.bsky.social
-from The Truth

#quote #Discworld #TerryPratchett #TheTruth #Otto #Sacharissa
Click. The salamander flared, etching the room with searing white light and dark shadows. Otto screamed. He fell to the floor, clutching at his throat. He sprang to his feet, goggle-eyed and gasping, and staggered, knock-kneed and wobbly legged, the length of the room and back again. He sank down behind a table, scattering paperwork with a wildly flailing hand. “Aarghaarghaaargh…” And then there was a shocked silence. Otto stood up, adjusted his cravat, and dusted himself off. Only then did he look up at the row of shocked faces. “Vell?” he said sternly. “Vot you all looking at? It is just a normal reaction, zat is all. I am vorking on it. Light in all itz forms is mine passion. Light is my canvas, shadows are my brush.” “But strong light hurts you!” said Sacharissa. “It hurts vampires!” “Yes. It iss a bit of a bugger, but zere you go.”
October 9, 2025 at 4:56 PM
disorganizermark3.bsky.social
-from Men at Arms

#quote #Discworld #TerryPratchett #MenatArms
“And you’re a wolf and human at the same time, right? Tricky, that. I can see that. Bit of a dichotomy, sort of thing. Makes you kind of like a dog. ’Cos that’s what a dog is, really. Half a wolf and half a human. You were right about that. We’ve even got names. Hah! So our bodies tell us one thing, our heads tell us another. It’s a dog’s life, being a dog. And I bet you can’t run away from him. Not really. He’s your master.”
October 9, 2025 at 4:30 PM
disorganizermark3.bsky.social
-from Wyrd Sisters

#quote #Discworld #TerryPratchett #WyrdSisters #TheDrum #peopleofMorpork
Hwel went cold. Cosmopolitan as they were, the people of Morpork had a breezy, no-nonsense approach to the nonhuman races, i.e. hit them over the head with a brick and throw them in the river. This did not apply to trolls, naturally, because it is very difficult to be racially prejudiced against creatures seven feet tall who can bite through walls, at least for very long. But people three feet high were absolutely designed to be discriminated against.
October 8, 2025 at 4:19 PM
disorganizermark3.bsky.social
“No! Please! I'll tell you whatever you want to know!" the man yelled.

"Really?" said Vimes. "What's the orbital velocity of the moon?"

"What?"

"Oh, you'd like something simpler?”

-from Night Watch

#quote #Discworld
October 8, 2025 at 4:05 PM
disorganizermark3.bsky.social
-from Snuff

#quote #Discworld #TerryPratchett #Snuff #SamVimes
‘Don’t you squire me. There’s something going down here, something wrong; I can feel it in my boots and, believe me, they are the most sensitive boots that ever were. The man who runs the village pub knows everything – I know that and so do you. If you’re not on my side you’re in my way and you know something, I can see it in your eyes. If it turns out you knew something of importance about the blacksmith you’ll have invited yourself to be an accessory after the fact, with a free option, if I can get the bit between my teeth, of before the fact, which leaves you right in the middle, and that’s a fact.’
October 7, 2025 at 4:19 PM
disorganizermark3.bsky.social
"Ye mustn't be afraid to ask for help. Pride is a good thing, my girl, but it will kill you in time."

- from The Shepherd's Crown

#quote #Discworld #TerryPratchett #TheShepherdsCrown
October 7, 2025 at 4:05 PM
disorganizermark3.bsky.social
-from Wyrd Sisters

#quote #Discworld #TerryPratchett #NannyOgg #rulebreaking
“I said, what about this rule about not meddling?” said Magrat. “Ah,” said Nanny. She took the girl’s arm. “The thing is,” she explained, “as you progress in the Craft, you’ll learn there is another rule. Esme’s obeyed it all her life.” “And what’s that?” “When you break rules, break ’em good and hard,” said Nanny, and grinned a set of gums that were more menacing than teeth.
October 6, 2025 at 4:19 PM
disorganizermark3.bsky.social
-from Snuff

#quote #Discworld #TerryPratchett #SamVimes #YoungSam #goblin
Young Sam at this point had tired of petticoat company and had drifted over to an elderly goblin man who was working on a pot, and was watching with extreme fascination to the apparent pleasure, as far as Vimes could tell, of the elderly goblin. That’s a lesson to us … I don’t know what kind of lesson, but it’s a lesson, he thought.
October 6, 2025 at 1:02 AM
disorganizermark3.bsky.social
-from Thud!

#quote #Discworld #TerryPratchett #Thud #himdiamond #troll
Him who mountain crush him no Him who sun him stop him no Him who hammer him break him no Him who fire him fear him no Him who raise him head above him heart Him diamond —Translation of troll pictograms found carved on a basalt slab in the deepest level of the Ankh-Morpork treacle mines, in pig-treacle measures estimated at 500,000 years old.
October 4, 2025 at 4:18 PM
disorganizermark3.bsky.social
-from Wyrd Sisters

#quote #Discworld #TerryPratchett #WyrdSisters #NannyOgg #GrannyWeatherwax #KingVerence #thespia
“They were Thespians,” said Magrat firmly, her voice radiating such approval that the king found himself nodding automatically. “Oh,” he said. “Good.” “Were they?” whispered Nanny Ogg. “They didn’t look it.” “Don’t show your ignorance, Gytha Ogg,” sniffed Granny. She turned back to the ghost of the king. “Sorry about that, your majesty. It’s just her showing off. She don’t even know where Thespia is.”
October 3, 2025 at 4:19 PM
disorganizermark3.bsky.social
-from Thief of Time

#quote #Discworld #TerryPratchett #ThiefofTime #SusanDeath #teaching
There was something pleasant about an empty classroom. Of course, as any teacher would point out, one nice thing was that there were no children in it, and particularly no Jason.
October 2, 2025 at 4:19 PM
disorganizermark3.bsky.social
-from Thud!

#quote #Discworld #TerryPratchett #Thud #SamVimes #vampire
“Mr. Vimes,” said Mrs. Winkings. “Ve cannot help but notice that you still haf not employed any of our members in the Vatch…” Say “Watch,” why don’t you? Vimes thought. I know you can. Let the twenty-third letter of the alphabet enter your life. Ask Mr. Smith for some, he’s got more than enough. Anyway, I have a new argument. It’s copper-bottomed.
October 1, 2025 at 4:19 PM
disorganizermark3.bsky.social
"Things that try to look like things often do look more like things than things. Well-known fact."

-Granny Weatherwax from Wyrd Sisters 

#quote #Discworld #TerryPratchett #GrannyWeatherwax #WyrdSisters
September 30, 2025 at 6:19 PM
disorganizermark3.bsky.social
-from Men at Arms

#quote #Discworld #TerryPratchett #MenatArms #Quirke #Angua
“Probably fighting up in Quarry Lane with the rest of them,” said Quirke. “You can’t trust people of their type. You ought to know that.” And it also seemed to Angua that although words like halfpint and gritsucker were offensive, they were as terms of universal brotherhood compared to words like “people of their type” in the mouth of men like Quirke. Much to her shock, she found her gaze concentrating on the man’s jugular vein.
September 30, 2025 at 4:19 PM
disorganizermark3.bsky.social
-from Wyrd Sisters

#quote #Discworld #TerryPratchett #WyrdSisters #GrannyWeatherwax #NannyOgg #Magrat
“Hoofbeats?” said Nanny Ogg. “No one would come up here this time of night.” Magrat peered around timidly. Here and there on the moor were huge standing stones, their origins lost in time, which were said to lead mobile and private lives of their own. She shivered. “What’s to be afraid of?” she managed. “Us,” said Granny Weatherwax, smugly.
September 29, 2025 at 4:19 PM
disorganizermark3.bsky.social
-from Thief of Time

#quote #Discworld #TerryPratchett #ThiefofTime #SusanDeath #Lobsang #schoolteacher
“No, they’re a substition,” said Susan. “I mean they’re real, but hardly anyone really believes in them. Mostly everyone believes in things that aren’t real. Something very strange is going on. These things are all over the place, and they’ve got bodies. That’s not right. We’ve got to find the person who built the clock—” “And, er, what are you, Miss Susan?” “Me? I’m…a schoolteacher.” She followed his gaze to the wrench that she still held in her hand, and shrugged. “It can get pretty rough at break time, can it?” said Lobsang.
September 28, 2025 at 9:55 PM
disorganizermark3.bsky.social
SOD YOU, THEN, Death said.

-Death from The Colour of Magic 

#quote #Discworld #TerryPratchett #TheColourofMagic #Death
September 26, 2025 at 6:19 PM
disorganizermark3.bsky.social
-from Thud!

#quote #Discworld #TerryPratchett #Thud #Tak
The first thing Tak did, he wrote himself. The second thing Tak did, he wrote the Laws. The third thing Tak did, he wrote the World. The fourth thing Tak did, he wrote a cave. The fifth thing Tak did, he wrote a geode, an egg of stone. And in the twilight of the mouth of the cave, the geode hatched, and the Brothers were born. The first Brother walked toward the light, and stood under the open sky. Thus he became too tall. He was the first Man. He found no Laws, and he was enlightened. The second Brother walked toward the darkness, and stood under a roof of stone. Thus he achieved the correct height. He was the first Dwarf. He found the Laws Tak had written, and he was endarkened. But some of the living spirit of Tak was trapped in the broken stone egg, and it became the first troll, wandering the world unbidden and unwanted, without soul or purpose, learning or understanding. Fearful of light and darkness it shambles forever in twilight, knowing nothing, learning nothing, creating nothing, being nothing… —From ‘Gd Tak ‘Gar’ (The Things Tak Wrote), trans. Prof. W. W. W. Wildblood. Ankh-Morpork: Unseen University Press. AM$8. In the original, the last paragraph of the quoted text appears to have been added by a much later hand.
September 26, 2025 at 4:18 PM
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Esk, of course, had not been trained, and it is well known that a vital ingredient of success is not knowing that what you're attempting can't be done.

-from Equal Rites

#quote #Discworld #TerryPratchett #EqualRites #Esk
September 25, 2025 at 5:19 PM
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-from Feet of Clay

#quote #Discworld #TerryPratchett #FeetofClay
Besides, while it was true that a lot of people came to Ankh-Morpork because it was a city of opportunity, sometimes it was the opportunity not to be hung, skewered or dismantled for whatever crimes
September 25, 2025 at 4:18 PM
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'I just think the world ought to be more sort of organized.'
'That's just fantasy,' said Twoflower.
'I know. That's the trouble.' Rincewind sighed again.

-from Colour of Magic

#quote #Discworld #TerryPratchett #Rincewind #ColourofMagic #Twoflower
September 24, 2025 at 6:19 PM
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He thought: my god, if she ever finds a religion, what would come out of these mountains and sweep across the plains? My god…I just said “my god”…

-Oats from Carpe Jugulum

#quote #Discworld #TerryPratchett #Oats #Mygod
September 24, 2025 at 5:19 PM
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-from Moving Pictures

#quote #Discworld #TerryPratchett #MovingPictures #AzhuralNchoate
“It’s fifteen hundred miles to Ankh-Morpork,” he said. “We’ve got three hundred and sixty-three elephants, fifty carts of forage, the monsoon’s about to break and we’re wearing…we’re wearing…sort of things, like glass, only dark…dark glass things on our eyes…”
September 24, 2025 at 4:18 PM
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-from Snuff

#quote #Discworld #TerryPratchett
There were times when the world did not need policemen, because what it really did need was for somebody who knew what they were doing to shut it all down and start it all up again so that this time it could be done properly …
September 24, 2025 at 3:27 PM