Davin Wood
@davinwood.com
Just trying to be a good guy
(Music for Tim & Eric, Miracle Workers, Portlandia, Baskets, other venues, outlets, genres, idioms . . . Why are you still on Twitter?)
(Music for Tim & Eric, Miracle Workers, Portlandia, Baskets, other venues, outlets, genres, idioms . . . Why are you still on Twitter?)
Pinned
Davin Wood
@davinwood.com
· Nov 18
Sorry about raisin bran
-God
-God
'Secretary of War Crimes'
Anyone doing that yet? If not, spread the word
Anyone doing that yet? If not, spread the word
December 2, 2025 at 4:58 AM
'Secretary of War Crimes'
Anyone doing that yet? If not, spread the word
Anyone doing that yet? If not, spread the word
Pete Hegseth, a silly grown man, picking a fight with the Boy Scouts is hilarious to me.
November 26, 2025 at 4:05 AM
Pete Hegseth, a silly grown man, picking a fight with the Boy Scouts is hilarious to me.
Growing up, I always kinda felt bad for the girls in Billy Joel songs.
November 22, 2025 at 8:39 AM
Growing up, I always kinda felt bad for the girls in Billy Joel songs.
Same look on my face when I remember that guy
November 21, 2025 at 5:46 AM
Same look on my face when I remember that guy
Just so you know, everybody's calling me Dr. Rap'sody N. Bluth now they had a meeting about it that day you were out sick.
November 19, 2025 at 6:04 AM
Just so you know, everybody's calling me Dr. Rap'sody N. Bluth now they had a meeting about it that day you were out sick.
"Safe will need to be removed from 3rd floor apartment window via a pulley system I have installed for this purpose. Unfortunately the only time available for pickup will be precisely 10:30am tomorrow at a location I have marked with concentric red circles on the sidewalk in front of the building."
November 17, 2025 at 9:13 AM
"Safe will need to be removed from 3rd floor apartment window via a pulley system I have installed for this purpose. Unfortunately the only time available for pickup will be precisely 10:30am tomorrow at a location I have marked with concentric red circles on the sidewalk in front of the building."
Actually, it's 'Dr. Frankenstein's penis', ma'am.
-7-foot tall detective suddenly entering the room wearing horn-rimmed glasses and a mustache
-7-foot tall detective suddenly entering the room wearing horn-rimmed glasses and a mustache
November 11, 2025 at 7:41 PM
Actually, it's 'Dr. Frankenstein's penis', ma'am.
-7-foot tall detective suddenly entering the room wearing horn-rimmed glasses and a mustache
-7-foot tall detective suddenly entering the room wearing horn-rimmed glasses and a mustache
'Home Deport'
Anyone make that joke yet? Too soon?
Anyone make that joke yet? Too soon?
November 7, 2025 at 3:24 AM
'Home Deport'
Anyone make that joke yet? Too soon?
Anyone make that joke yet? Too soon?
[The Hill] "Heritage president apologizes for Carlson defense in brutal leaked all-staff meeting"
thehill.com/policy/55924...
thehill.com/policy/55924...
November 6, 2025 at 5:08 AM
[The Hill] "Heritage president apologizes for Carlson defense in brutal leaked all-staff meeting"
thehill.com/policy/55924...
thehill.com/policy/55924...
After 4 years of Reagan, the American people said:
"The political and economic crises across Central and South America are complex, and their hard truths demand real examination from our most accomplished analysts and historians. I think we'd better hear from Don Henley and Glenn Fry on this."
"The political and economic crises across Central and South America are complex, and their hard truths demand real examination from our most accomplished analysts and historians. I think we'd better hear from Don Henley and Glenn Fry on this."
November 5, 2025 at 7:07 AM
After 4 years of Reagan, the American people said:
"The political and economic crises across Central and South America are complex, and their hard truths demand real examination from our most accomplished analysts and historians. I think we'd better hear from Don Henley and Glenn Fry on this."
"The political and economic crises across Central and South America are complex, and their hard truths demand real examination from our most accomplished analysts and historians. I think we'd better hear from Don Henley and Glenn Fry on this."
I think it’s hilarious that Lowes’ ‘premium’ power tool brand, the one aimed at DIY corksniffers is called EGO
November 1, 2025 at 11:02 PM
I think it’s hilarious that Lowes’ ‘premium’ power tool brand, the one aimed at DIY corksniffers is called EGO
A neighbor of mine. Gonna have to check their rates I suppose . . .
November 1, 2025 at 11:00 PM
A neighbor of mine. Gonna have to check their rates I suppose . . .
Reposted by Davin Wood
"Moving to the King's estate in Sandringham" is not at all how I'd describe 'rock bottom'.
October 31, 2025 at 9:01 AM
"Moving to the King's estate in Sandringham" is not at all how I'd describe 'rock bottom'.
I’ve been wearing glasses about a year now, with no formal training, obsess over keeping them clean, and just now discovered a major ‘don’t’:
Taking off your eyeglasses while sneezing
Taking off your eyeglasses while sneezing
October 29, 2025 at 10:47 PM
I’ve been wearing glasses about a year now, with no formal training, obsess over keeping them clean, and just now discovered a major ‘don’t’:
Taking off your eyeglasses while sneezing
Taking off your eyeglasses while sneezing
[dinner party]
"Hey, so looks like you guys are also doing the thing that everybody's doing?"
"Oh yes, we casually displayed the items associated with the thing to give the impression that not only are we doing it, but have done for so long that we forget to put them away."
"This is a fun party."
"Hey, so looks like you guys are also doing the thing that everybody's doing?"
"Oh yes, we casually displayed the items associated with the thing to give the impression that not only are we doing it, but have done for so long that we forget to put them away."
"This is a fun party."
October 29, 2025 at 5:41 PM
[dinner party]
"Hey, so looks like you guys are also doing the thing that everybody's doing?"
"Oh yes, we casually displayed the items associated with the thing to give the impression that not only are we doing it, but have done for so long that we forget to put them away."
"This is a fun party."
"Hey, so looks like you guys are also doing the thing that everybody's doing?"
"Oh yes, we casually displayed the items associated with the thing to give the impression that not only are we doing it, but have done for so long that we forget to put them away."
"This is a fun party."
Siouxsie and The Blowfish
October 28, 2025 at 4:03 AM
Siouxsie and The Blowfish
Reposted by Davin Wood
Here's a photo of my friend and colleague, Jorge Bautista, getting shot in the face with a flashbang grenade. The ICE Agent is so afraid of Jorge (who was posing no threat) that he has wet himself. Please share this photo. Everyone needs to know what cowards ICE agents are.
October 23, 2025 at 6:51 PM
Here's a photo of my friend and colleague, Jorge Bautista, getting shot in the face with a flashbang grenade. The ICE Agent is so afraid of Jorge (who was posing no threat) that he has wet himself. Please share this photo. Everyone needs to know what cowards ICE agents are.
@containseggs.bsky.social, just so you know, this is what starts up in my mind whenever I see your current handle.*
*Bawdy Doodle
*Bawdy Doodle
October 17, 2025 at 3:49 AM
@containseggs.bsky.social, just so you know, this is what starts up in my mind whenever I see your current handle.*
*Bawdy Doodle
*Bawdy Doodle
People don't ever really expect you to click on the Tik-Tok links they send you, right?
October 16, 2025 at 1:08 PM
People don't ever really expect you to click on the Tik-Tok links they send you, right?
Not sure which is more compelling here, Vince's very-realistic "Let's get one with granddad and the football" expression, or Owen's ENORMOUS bowl of Froot Loops.
October 5, 2025 at 5:04 AM
Not sure which is more compelling here, Vince's very-realistic "Let's get one with granddad and the football" expression, or Owen's ENORMOUS bowl of Froot Loops.
Is he finally gonna cut it out with the wig?
September 29, 2025 at 11:13 PM
Is he finally gonna cut it out with the wig?