UPDATE: Frogs discovered in Pharaoh's bed. Royal sleep number setting "severely compromised." #bible #christianhumor

Unprecedented frog migration hits Egyptian cities. Palace chefs scrambling to adjust menu to "emerging protein source." #FrogPocalypse #bible #news

URGENT: Egyptian plumbing industry reports record service calls. Palace spokesperson maintains "it's just a seasonal algae bloom." Local frogs seen hastily packing their lily pads. #NileWatch #bible #church #jesus

BREAKING: Entire Nile River mysteriously turns red. Local water sommelier claims "notes of iron with a metallic finish." Fish community in crisis. #BloodWater #bible #Moses #humor

LIVE: Shepherd threatens nationwide plague campaign if demands aren't met. Pharaoh reportedly said "Watch me" before dramatically exiting on golden palanquin. #PlagueWatch #bible #church #humor

UPDATE: Staff-throwing contest goes wrong when competitor's snake gets eaten. Palace magicians file workplace safety complaint. #SnakeGate #christian #bible

BREAKING: Tense negotiations at palace as local shepherd demands mass worker resignation. Pharaoh seen rolling eyes, asks "Who even are you?" #LetThemGo

Alleged 'Prince' of Egypt seen muttering to himself "I am who I am sent me."

DEVELOPING: Former prince-turned-shepherd demands meeting with Pharaoh. #bigbossenergy

UPDATE: Suspect spotted carrying suspicious stick, refuses to explain where he got it. #immigrant #amongus

BREAKING: Local man returns from 40-year shepherd gig, claims burning bush gave him management position. Palace insiders "skeptical" of new leadership style. #BackInEgypt #guesswhosbackbackagain