Commander Quinoa
@commanderquinoa.bsky.social
Keith, bird law enthusiast, inclined toward misanthropy, recovering pedant, frequent football watcher. Recently moved to Tavira, Portugal. Was @goongrief at the old place. Huskers, Pitt, Steelers
They already starved 600,000 people abroad. Might as well start starving them in the states now
I’ve never seen an American elected official fight so hard to starve people.
November 8, 2025 at 12:56 AM
They already starved 600,000 people abroad. Might as well start starving them in the states now
One downside to life in Portugal? They love these tiny little beers and they’re often the cheapest option per litre at the store. For me (a fat American with little restraint) they are like a cerveja one hitter. Basically as soon as I open one and sit down it’s already time to get up for a new one.
November 7, 2025 at 7:41 PM
One downside to life in Portugal? They love these tiny little beers and they’re often the cheapest option per litre at the store. For me (a fat American with little restraint) they are like a cerveja one hitter. Basically as soon as I open one and sit down it’s already time to get up for a new one.
A week ago I read the first paragraph of an article about Stavros Halkias who I /think/ is a comedian. The algorithm on every platform took that to mean that I am fucking obsessed with the dude and is looking for any opportunity it can find to surface me content on the guy.
November 7, 2025 at 11:43 AM
A week ago I read the first paragraph of an article about Stavros Halkias who I /think/ is a comedian. The algorithm on every platform took that to mean that I am fucking obsessed with the dude and is looking for any opportunity it can find to surface me content on the guy.
Hey @pfrazee.com I’ve got a feature request. Can you create a feed delay so that you can have like a 2 minute pause between when something is posted and when I can see it? I’m watching redzone on another continent via VPN and everything exciting gets spoiled by posts well before I see them.
November 2, 2025 at 6:30 PM
Hey @pfrazee.com I’ve got a feature request. Can you create a feed delay so that you can have like a 2 minute pause between when something is posted and when I can see it? I’m watching redzone on another continent via VPN and everything exciting gets spoiled by posts well before I see them.
I’m pretty sure I’m going to spend the rest of my time in France wondering why they need to repair their urine and also how far they need to jam this lotion in to make it work.
November 1, 2025 at 9:43 PM
I’m pretty sure I’m going to spend the rest of my time in France wondering why they need to repair their urine and also how far they need to jam this lotion in to make it work.
My mother in law hates that we moved to Portugal so she’s set up a Google News alert to forward us any adverse news that occurs in our new home country as a passive aggressive tool to deter us. I’d respond with an email for every mass shooting from the US but it’d too quickly become a full time job
October 28, 2025 at 11:16 PM
My mother in law hates that we moved to Portugal so she’s set up a Google News alert to forward us any adverse news that occurs in our new home country as a passive aggressive tool to deter us. I’d respond with an email for every mass shooting from the US but it’d too quickly become a full time job
I don’t get how meta knows who to recommend as follows to me. I’ve only started logging on to instagram in the past couple months infrequently but when I see who it’s recommending I follow it’s a shockingly compelling list of people I used to fool around with that I haven’t talked to in a decade
October 26, 2025 at 10:38 PM
I don’t get how meta knows who to recommend as follows to me. I’ve only started logging on to instagram in the past couple months infrequently but when I see who it’s recommending I follow it’s a shockingly compelling list of people I used to fool around with that I haven’t talked to in a decade
Can i show my 9 year old the one piece cartoon or is it too mature?
October 14, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Can i show my 9 year old the one piece cartoon or is it too mature?
My kid left his iPhone charger at the hotel we were at last night and you cannot fathom how fucking livid I am that I’m going to have to buy a gd lightning cable in the year 2025.
October 9, 2025 at 12:13 AM
My kid left his iPhone charger at the hotel we were at last night and you cannot fathom how fucking livid I am that I’m going to have to buy a gd lightning cable in the year 2025.
Will I ever be able to hear the name Zach Ertz without reflexively singing to myself “Come on baby make it Ertz so good”? It’s been happening for more than a decade at this point. When does this become a situation where I ought to consult medical professionals?
September 28, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Will I ever be able to hear the name Zach Ertz without reflexively singing to myself “Come on baby make it Ertz so good”? It’s been happening for more than a decade at this point. When does this become a situation where I ought to consult medical professionals?
It pains me to admit but the eagles are an exceptionally fun team to watch and I am afraid I may actually be rooting for them
September 21, 2025 at 8:11 PM
It pains me to admit but the eagles are an exceptionally fun team to watch and I am afraid I may actually be rooting for them
New house, had to come up with a new division of chores for the kids. Decided to have our 9 year old take our recycling to the bins on the corner for us. Failed to consider how this would result in him having comments like "A lot of glass this week. You and mom drank a lot of wine and cider, huh?"
September 18, 2025 at 5:57 PM
New house, had to come up with a new division of chores for the kids. Decided to have our 9 year old take our recycling to the bins on the corner for us. Failed to consider how this would result in him having comments like "A lot of glass this week. You and mom drank a lot of wine and cider, huh?"
The move to Portugal has been brutal on my YouTube music experience. Using the same account I’ve had for years but for whatever reason they think I’ve changed my musical taste entirely over the past month. Doesn’t matter what my starting off track is, it veers into banal corporate pop immediately.
September 18, 2025 at 12:09 AM
The move to Portugal has been brutal on my YouTube music experience. Using the same account I’ve had for years but for whatever reason they think I’ve changed my musical taste entirely over the past month. Doesn’t matter what my starting off track is, it veers into banal corporate pop immediately.
Reposted by Commander Quinoa
so many dead canaries and we just keep on mining
September 17, 2025 at 11:10 PM
so many dead canaries and we just keep on mining
Had I known how GD delicious this store brand, zero sugar, pineapple soda was going to be I would have moved to Portugal years ago.
September 14, 2025 at 8:49 PM
Had I known how GD delicious this store brand, zero sugar, pineapple soda was going to be I would have moved to Portugal years ago.
Garbage wvu fans keep booing Pitt players for being injured despite the fact those injuries are helping their team manage the clock
September 13, 2025 at 11:21 PM
Garbage wvu fans keep booing Pitt players for being injured despite the fact those injuries are helping their team manage the clock
It confuses the hell out of me why apple refuses to capitalize ‘i” most the time when i use it in a sentence but it always makes sure that if i write Home Screen to go back and capitalize both words.
September 12, 2025 at 7:07 PM
It confuses the hell out of me why apple refuses to capitalize ‘i” most the time when i use it in a sentence but it always makes sure that if i write Home Screen to go back and capitalize both words.
Had to dump the duolingo app from my home screen cause I was sick of the icon being a beat up sniveling owl even when I had done my daily lesson. Added a widget to my widget screen instead. Now I’m instead haunted by this image of an owl with a face for a rump. Why can’t you just be normal duolingo?
September 12, 2025 at 10:36 AM
Had to dump the duolingo app from my home screen cause I was sick of the icon being a beat up sniveling owl even when I had done my daily lesson. Added a widget to my widget screen instead. Now I’m instead haunted by this image of an owl with a face for a rump. Why can’t you just be normal duolingo?
I’m no fan of violence but I’m shocked it’s taken this long into trump’s term before a leading conservative has been shot. So many guns in the country, such a strong lurch towards tyranny. It’s just seemed to me that a surge of political violence was inevitable.
September 10, 2025 at 7:37 PM
I’m no fan of violence but I’m shocked it’s taken this long into trump’s term before a leading conservative has been shot. So many guns in the country, such a strong lurch towards tyranny. It’s just seemed to me that a surge of political violence was inevitable.
Showed my 9 year old Lunch Lady Land for the first time. His take: “the lunch lady is very fat but very athletic.” I told him he was right and that we were all mesmerized by that duality in the 90s.
I’m going to be singing “navy beans, navy beans, navy beans, MEATLOAF SANDWICH” to myself for days.
I’m going to be singing “navy beans, navy beans, navy beans, MEATLOAF SANDWICH” to myself for days.
September 8, 2025 at 11:56 PM
Showed my 9 year old Lunch Lady Land for the first time. His take: “the lunch lady is very fat but very athletic.” I told him he was right and that we were all mesmerized by that duality in the 90s.
I’m going to be singing “navy beans, navy beans, navy beans, MEATLOAF SANDWICH” to myself for days.
I’m going to be singing “navy beans, navy beans, navy beans, MEATLOAF SANDWICH” to myself for days.
I am sure he spent the time after the water buffalo got killed thinking "goddamn I could eat a burger right about now" and lost track of what the point of the film was
September 8, 2025 at 8:01 PM
I am sure he spent the time after the water buffalo got killed thinking "goddamn I could eat a burger right about now" and lost track of what the point of the film was
Is there something wrong with my TV or is that what the Saints jerseys actually look like?
September 7, 2025 at 5:23 PM
Is there something wrong with my TV or is that what the Saints jerseys actually look like?
My hair has reached the volume where any hat I attempt to wear makes it look like I’m doing Stephen Wright cosplay
September 6, 2025 at 11:20 AM
My hair has reached the volume where any hat I attempt to wear makes it look like I’m doing Stephen Wright cosplay
Found a company called Joy Division that makes sex lube. It would be funnier if it wasn’t a German company given the origin of the band name comes from nazi brothels. Regardless, I’m pretty sure I’ll be humming ‘lube will tear anus apart again’ to myself the rest of the day.
September 2, 2025 at 1:25 PM
Found a company called Joy Division that makes sex lube. It would be funnier if it wasn’t a German company given the origin of the band name comes from nazi brothels. Regardless, I’m pretty sure I’ll be humming ‘lube will tear anus apart again’ to myself the rest of the day.
I got mildly admonished by the waiter at thus restaurant near the beach for not getting seafood. I said, “But I ordered calamari” and he said ‘yeah but that’s just frozen stuff for tourists, you should have got the bream’
If you’re going to say that, why would you tell me that after I ordered?
If you’re going to say that, why would you tell me that after I ordered?
September 1, 2025 at 4:15 PM
I got mildly admonished by the waiter at thus restaurant near the beach for not getting seafood. I said, “But I ordered calamari” and he said ‘yeah but that’s just frozen stuff for tourists, you should have got the bream’
If you’re going to say that, why would you tell me that after I ordered?
If you’re going to say that, why would you tell me that after I ordered?