Cara Hooper - www.effectivethoughts.co.uk - Life&Trauma Coach
@coachcara.bsky.social
Leadership, Life, Somatic EMDR Trauma Coach 1-1, groups. Writer.
Experienced, intuitive, direct. CPTSD survivor. At one in nature.
www.effectivethoughts.co.uk
#coaching #EMDR #SOMATIC #cptsd #trauma #IFS
Experienced, intuitive, direct. CPTSD survivor. At one in nature.
www.effectivethoughts.co.uk
#coaching #EMDR #SOMATIC #cptsd #trauma #IFS
Pinned
Reposted by Cara Hooper - www.effectivethoughts.co.uk - Life&Trauma Coach
Progress in trauma recovery is not black & white. It's always-- always-- a mixed bag. So you're having a sh*t day as you read this? Just do what you can to be kind to & safe w/ yourself today. That's a successful recovery day.
F*ck "perfect" or "awful." We're works in progress.
F*ck "perfect" or "awful." We're works in progress.
November 26, 2025 at 4:31 AM
Progress in trauma recovery is not black & white. It's always-- always-- a mixed bag. So you're having a sh*t day as you read this? Just do what you can to be kind to & safe w/ yourself today. That's a successful recovery day.
F*ck "perfect" or "awful." We're works in progress.
F*ck "perfect" or "awful." We're works in progress.
"When you finally give up on the idea that you have the power to change others, you are giving up on something you never had anyway - control"
From Difficult Conversations; Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen
From Difficult Conversations; Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen
November 25, 2025 at 7:46 PM
"When you finally give up on the idea that you have the power to change others, you are giving up on something you never had anyway - control"
From Difficult Conversations; Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen
From Difficult Conversations; Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen
Want to give support?
Try surrender..
When our habit is to rescue, we may need to practise surrendering. This means -
Listening
Acknowledging
Noticing
All without jumping to judgement, action or change. Our attentiveness alone will be a support to someone who is struggling.
Try surrender..
When our habit is to rescue, we may need to practise surrendering. This means -
Listening
Acknowledging
Noticing
All without jumping to judgement, action or change. Our attentiveness alone will be a support to someone who is struggling.
November 25, 2025 at 4:49 PM
Want to give support?
Try surrender..
When our habit is to rescue, we may need to practise surrendering. This means -
Listening
Acknowledging
Noticing
All without jumping to judgement, action or change. Our attentiveness alone will be a support to someone who is struggling.
Try surrender..
When our habit is to rescue, we may need to practise surrendering. This means -
Listening
Acknowledging
Noticing
All without jumping to judgement, action or change. Our attentiveness alone will be a support to someone who is struggling.
Reposted by Cara Hooper - www.effectivethoughts.co.uk - Life&Trauma Coach
Creating-- art, music, food, whatever-- can be such a powerful trauma recovery tool because it requires us to step outside of the roles & expectations of others.
It requires us to go off autopilot & connect w/ our True Self, which is what gets devalued & buried by trauma.
It requires us to go off autopilot & connect w/ our True Self, which is what gets devalued & buried by trauma.
November 20, 2025 at 2:10 AM
Creating-- art, music, food, whatever-- can be such a powerful trauma recovery tool because it requires us to step outside of the roles & expectations of others.
It requires us to go off autopilot & connect w/ our True Self, which is what gets devalued & buried by trauma.
It requires us to go off autopilot & connect w/ our True Self, which is what gets devalued & buried by trauma.
Change is hard, grief is certain, but the cost of remaining is self betrayal.
Of course there are immovable obligations that can feel draining in some cases. Becoming aware of how the situation or relationship impacts us is key to processing the feelings and finding ways to ease the difficulties.
Of course there are immovable obligations that can feel draining in some cases. Becoming aware of how the situation or relationship impacts us is key to processing the feelings and finding ways to ease the difficulties.
November 20, 2025 at 1:48 PM
Change is hard, grief is certain, but the cost of remaining is self betrayal.
Of course there are immovable obligations that can feel draining in some cases. Becoming aware of how the situation or relationship impacts us is key to processing the feelings and finding ways to ease the difficulties.
Of course there are immovable obligations that can feel draining in some cases. Becoming aware of how the situation or relationship impacts us is key to processing the feelings and finding ways to ease the difficulties.
It's a harsh reality that true healing and trauma resolution is a privilege. It requires safe environments and capacity.
And..
With the right support, it is possible to at least build more safety into your life to sustain you through it.
#reality
#healing
#trauma
#authenticity
And..
With the right support, it is possible to at least build more safety into your life to sustain you through it.
#reality
#healing
#trauma
#authenticity
November 17, 2025 at 9:37 PM
It's a harsh reality that true healing and trauma resolution is a privilege. It requires safe environments and capacity.
And..
With the right support, it is possible to at least build more safety into your life to sustain you through it.
#reality
#healing
#trauma
#authenticity
And..
With the right support, it is possible to at least build more safety into your life to sustain you through it.
#reality
#healing
#trauma
#authenticity
Top tip for working parents:
Have an end of (paid) work day ritual before embarking on your next job: parenting.
1. Acknowledge feelings and stress (e.g. talk to the wall, journal)
2. Regulate self - stretch/shake/breathe/ground)
#workingparents
#regulation
#stressmanagement
#acknowledgement
Have an end of (paid) work day ritual before embarking on your next job: parenting.
1. Acknowledge feelings and stress (e.g. talk to the wall, journal)
2. Regulate self - stretch/shake/breathe/ground)
#workingparents
#regulation
#stressmanagement
#acknowledgement
November 11, 2025 at 3:54 PM
Top tip for working parents:
Have an end of (paid) work day ritual before embarking on your next job: parenting.
1. Acknowledge feelings and stress (e.g. talk to the wall, journal)
2. Regulate self - stretch/shake/breathe/ground)
#workingparents
#regulation
#stressmanagement
#acknowledgement
Have an end of (paid) work day ritual before embarking on your next job: parenting.
1. Acknowledge feelings and stress (e.g. talk to the wall, journal)
2. Regulate self - stretch/shake/breathe/ground)
#workingparents
#regulation
#stressmanagement
#acknowledgement
Pain + resistance = more pain.
So, how can we accept?
🪜 Name that acceptance is hard.
🪜 Acknowledge the feelings. The pain, the turmoil, the fear.
🪜 Thank the fear - our protective parts are trying their best.
🪜 Reassure yourself as you would a best friend.
🪜 Repeat the above!
So, how can we accept?
🪜 Name that acceptance is hard.
🪜 Acknowledge the feelings. The pain, the turmoil, the fear.
🪜 Thank the fear - our protective parts are trying their best.
🪜 Reassure yourself as you would a best friend.
🪜 Repeat the above!
November 6, 2025 at 5:52 PM
Pain + resistance = more pain.
So, how can we accept?
🪜 Name that acceptance is hard.
🪜 Acknowledge the feelings. The pain, the turmoil, the fear.
🪜 Thank the fear - our protective parts are trying their best.
🪜 Reassure yourself as you would a best friend.
🪜 Repeat the above!
So, how can we accept?
🪜 Name that acceptance is hard.
🪜 Acknowledge the feelings. The pain, the turmoil, the fear.
🪜 Thank the fear - our protective parts are trying their best.
🪜 Reassure yourself as you would a best friend.
🪜 Repeat the above!
"It took me a long time to understand that you can feel many conflicting things. You can cut someone out of your life and miss them every day but still be glad you don't have to see them again. Missing people doesn't mean that you made the wrong decision."
- Tara Westover
- Tara Westover
November 5, 2025 at 4:41 PM
"It took me a long time to understand that you can feel many conflicting things. You can cut someone out of your life and miss them every day but still be glad you don't have to see them again. Missing people doesn't mean that you made the wrong decision."
- Tara Westover
- Tara Westover
Reposted by Cara Hooper - www.effectivethoughts.co.uk - Life&Trauma Coach
Sometimes, in trauma recovery, getting better does not always mean feeling better.
We developed coping skills, distractions & distortions to feel better in the short term, but they didn't heal. Healing doesn't just mean feeling better, it means becoming better at feeling ❤️🩹
We developed coping skills, distractions & distortions to feel better in the short term, but they didn't heal. Healing doesn't just mean feeling better, it means becoming better at feeling ❤️🩹
October 27, 2025 at 4:08 PM
Sometimes, in trauma recovery, getting better does not always mean feeling better.
We developed coping skills, distractions & distortions to feel better in the short term, but they didn't heal. Healing doesn't just mean feeling better, it means becoming better at feeling ❤️🩹
We developed coping skills, distractions & distortions to feel better in the short term, but they didn't heal. Healing doesn't just mean feeling better, it means becoming better at feeling ❤️🩹
Today's Somatic EMDR for trauma resolution feedback.
Holding space for the body and its systems is key to resolving stuck emotions. This work goes deeper than talking through your adversity and triggers.
Book a free consultation if you are curious
#Somatic
#emdr
#ifs
#Trauma
#healing
Holding space for the body and its systems is key to resolving stuck emotions. This work goes deeper than talking through your adversity and triggers.
Book a free consultation if you are curious
#Somatic
#emdr
#ifs
#Trauma
#healing
November 1, 2025 at 10:38 AM
Trauma resolution work is weird😀
We are so used to being in our heads, that it feels strange to really connect to the body.
People feel renewed, more peaceful, released, but do not cognitively know why!
The body and the nervous system knows best and speaks a different language to the intellect.
We are so used to being in our heads, that it feels strange to really connect to the body.
People feel renewed, more peaceful, released, but do not cognitively know why!
The body and the nervous system knows best and speaks a different language to the intellect.
October 23, 2025 at 5:01 PM
Trauma resolution work is weird😀
We are so used to being in our heads, that it feels strange to really connect to the body.
People feel renewed, more peaceful, released, but do not cognitively know why!
The body and the nervous system knows best and speaks a different language to the intellect.
We are so used to being in our heads, that it feels strange to really connect to the body.
People feel renewed, more peaceful, released, but do not cognitively know why!
The body and the nervous system knows best and speaks a different language to the intellect.
How can you regularly notice smells?
Why?
👃
@drtaraswart talked at the Oxford Masters Trauma conference recently about how intentionally, regularly using the olfactory system can delay brain ageing.
👃
It mindfully returns us to our body.
👃
Smells can be soothing and calming
#delaybrainaging
Why?
👃
@drtaraswart talked at the Oxford Masters Trauma conference recently about how intentionally, regularly using the olfactory system can delay brain ageing.
👃
It mindfully returns us to our body.
👃
Smells can be soothing and calming
#delaybrainaging
October 17, 2025 at 11:12 AM
How can you regularly notice smells?
Why?
👃
@drtaraswart talked at the Oxford Masters Trauma conference recently about how intentionally, regularly using the olfactory system can delay brain ageing.
👃
It mindfully returns us to our body.
👃
Smells can be soothing and calming
#delaybrainaging
Why?
👃
@drtaraswart talked at the Oxford Masters Trauma conference recently about how intentionally, regularly using the olfactory system can delay brain ageing.
👃
It mindfully returns us to our body.
👃
Smells can be soothing and calming
#delaybrainaging
In what way might you be putting survival before honesty?
The uncomfortable truth is that denying our needs is repression. When this becomes chronic, our body will find a way to express itself!
Small changes towards self-expression can rebuild self trust.
#authenticity
#dishonestharmony
The uncomfortable truth is that denying our needs is repression. When this becomes chronic, our body will find a way to express itself!
Small changes towards self-expression can rebuild self trust.
#authenticity
#dishonestharmony
October 16, 2025 at 12:28 PM
In what way might you be putting survival before honesty?
The uncomfortable truth is that denying our needs is repression. When this becomes chronic, our body will find a way to express itself!
Small changes towards self-expression can rebuild self trust.
#authenticity
#dishonestharmony
The uncomfortable truth is that denying our needs is repression. When this becomes chronic, our body will find a way to express itself!
Small changes towards self-expression can rebuild self trust.
#authenticity
#dishonestharmony
Avoidance of our feelings comes with a cost.
Pushing our feelings away is understandable at times when we have to step up, but it is not sustainable. Chronic avoidance means our nervous system will be on alert, our body will find ways to signal the pain, we will feel drained & overwhelmed
Pushing our feelings away is understandable at times when we have to step up, but it is not sustainable. Chronic avoidance means our nervous system will be on alert, our body will find ways to signal the pain, we will feel drained & overwhelmed
October 7, 2025 at 10:36 AM
Avoidance of our feelings comes with a cost.
Pushing our feelings away is understandable at times when we have to step up, but it is not sustainable. Chronic avoidance means our nervous system will be on alert, our body will find ways to signal the pain, we will feel drained & overwhelmed
Pushing our feelings away is understandable at times when we have to step up, but it is not sustainable. Chronic avoidance means our nervous system will be on alert, our body will find ways to signal the pain, we will feel drained & overwhelmed
Wisdom from #TransformTraumaOxford2025 Part 5
> Which one speaks most to you?
> Which one speaks most to you?
October 6, 2025 at 7:02 PM
Wisdom from #TransformTraumaOxford2025 Part 5
> Which one speaks most to you?
> Which one speaks most to you?
Wisdom from #TransformTraumaOxford2025 Part 4
> Which one speaks most to you?
> Which one speaks most to you?
October 5, 2025 at 1:35 PM
Wisdom from #TransformTraumaOxford2025 Part 4
> Which one speaks most to you?
> Which one speaks most to you?
Wisdom from #TransformTraumaOxford2025 Part 2
> Which one speaks most to you?
> Which one speaks most to you?
October 3, 2025 at 4:27 PM
Wisdom from #TransformTraumaOxford2025 Part 2
> Which one speaks most to you?
> Which one speaks most to you?
Wisdom from #TransformTraumaOxford2025 Part 1
> Which one speaks most to you?
> Which one speaks most to you?
October 2, 2025 at 11:34 AM
Wisdom from #TransformTraumaOxford2025 Part 1
> Which one speaks most to you?
> Which one speaks most to you?
Reposted by Cara Hooper - www.effectivethoughts.co.uk - Life&Trauma Coach
As other trauma survivors know, we have trauma responses often times caused by triggers. It is so frustrating because the last thing I'd ever want to do is hurt the people I care about. When in that mode, I push people away not meaning to. Healing is my top priority. All survivors deserve to heal.
September 26, 2025 at 4:56 PM
As other trauma survivors know, we have trauma responses often times caused by triggers. It is so frustrating because the last thing I'd ever want to do is hurt the people I care about. When in that mode, I push people away not meaning to. Healing is my top priority. All survivors deserve to heal.
Somatic work is a game changer!
Working with our nervous system, our bodies, is essential to process and resolve emotions.
I comine somatic awareness with EMDR. EMDR is a protocol to dial down the limbic system to allow safe processing and resolution.
#Coaching
#trauma
#triggers
#somatic
#emdr
Working with our nervous system, our bodies, is essential to process and resolve emotions.
I comine somatic awareness with EMDR. EMDR is a protocol to dial down the limbic system to allow safe processing and resolution.
#Coaching
#trauma
#triggers
#somatic
#emdr
September 23, 2025 at 11:28 AM
What did your programming teach you about saying no/asserting yourself?
Parts of society, work, and toxic families rely on compliance. We comply to keep the peace or maintain dishonest harmony.
The impacts of NOT asserting ourselves=Dysregulation, low self trust
#unprogramming
#consciouschoice
Parts of society, work, and toxic families rely on compliance. We comply to keep the peace or maintain dishonest harmony.
The impacts of NOT asserting ourselves=Dysregulation, low self trust
#unprogramming
#consciouschoice
September 16, 2025 at 11:06 AM
What did your programming teach you about saying no/asserting yourself?
Parts of society, work, and toxic families rely on compliance. We comply to keep the peace or maintain dishonest harmony.
The impacts of NOT asserting ourselves=Dysregulation, low self trust
#unprogramming
#consciouschoice
Parts of society, work, and toxic families rely on compliance. We comply to keep the peace or maintain dishonest harmony.
The impacts of NOT asserting ourselves=Dysregulation, low self trust
#unprogramming
#consciouschoice
Part 2 - How to feel better in 8 steps. The last step is essential right now.
#coaching
#bekindtoself
#selfcare
#findthefun
#coaching
#bekindtoself
#selfcare
#findthefun
September 14, 2025 at 11:42 AM
Part 2 - How to feel better in 8 steps. The last step is essential right now.
#coaching
#bekindtoself
#selfcare
#findthefun
#coaching
#bekindtoself
#selfcare
#findthefun
Part 1 - How to feel better in 8 steps. The last step is essential right now.
#coaching
#bekindtoself
#selfcare
#findthefun
#coaching
#bekindtoself
#selfcare
#findthefun
September 14, 2025 at 11:42 AM
Part 1 - How to feel better in 8 steps. The last step is essential right now.
#coaching
#bekindtoself
#selfcare
#findthefun
#coaching
#bekindtoself
#selfcare
#findthefun
Reposted by Cara Hooper - www.effectivethoughts.co.uk - Life&Trauma Coach
The number of people & organizations that depend on our "fawn" trauma response to get us playing along with their bullsh*t is staggering.
Once you see it, you can't un-see it.
Once you see it, you can't un-see it.
September 13, 2025 at 3:06 PM
The number of people & organizations that depend on our "fawn" trauma response to get us playing along with their bullsh*t is staggering.
Once you see it, you can't un-see it.
Once you see it, you can't un-see it.