CharmlessNurk
@charmlessnurk.bsky.social
I’m only visible under very dark skies if you don’t look directly at me.
I done a fing on LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/pulse/hitchh...
A Hitchhiker's Guide to Artificial Intelligence
Supplementary entry: "Tokens, Prompts and Why Humans Aren't (Immediately) Doomed" Artificial Intelligence is what you get when a large number of very small numbers are multiplied together until a mark...
www.linkedin.com
December 4, 2025 at 8:00 AM
I done a fing on LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/pulse/hitchh...
Thought I’d give Christmas shopping a go. You know, at all actual shops and that. But they were all teeming with cunts so everyone’s just getting whatever I can find in my kitchen drawers. Ooh, some half-melted cake candles, the 2023 bin collection calendar and a radiator key? You shouldn’t have.
November 22, 2025 at 2:20 PM
Thought I’d give Christmas shopping a go. You know, at all actual shops and that. But they were all teeming with cunts so everyone’s just getting whatever I can find in my kitchen drawers. Ooh, some half-melted cake candles, the 2023 bin collection calendar and a radiator key? You shouldn’t have.
I went for one of those “walks” some healthy type people are always banging on about. Sun shining, birds tweeting, trees treeing, some sort of medium-sized duck. Fucking bullshit.
November 21, 2025 at 3:55 PM
I went for one of those “walks” some healthy type people are always banging on about. Sun shining, birds tweeting, trees treeing, some sort of medium-sized duck. Fucking bullshit.
I just scored 8 out of 40 on a psychopath test. This is definitely scientifically sound because I hardly ever want kill people. You can take the test here 0eb.com/index_psycho... if you like. Not taking it means you are definitely a psychopath, by the way.
The Original Psychopath Test
0eb.com
November 14, 2025 at 10:23 PM
I just scored 8 out of 40 on a psychopath test. This is definitely scientifically sound because I hardly ever want kill people. You can take the test here 0eb.com/index_psycho... if you like. Not taking it means you are definitely a psychopath, by the way.
When I inevitably seize control of the United Nations, I will militarily enforce mandatory forensic hard drive scans of anyone who puts up their Christmas decorations in November.
November 14, 2025 at 8:59 PM
When I inevitably seize control of the United Nations, I will militarily enforce mandatory forensic hard drive scans of anyone who puts up their Christmas decorations in November.
Reposted by CharmlessNurk
This is 100% true. I’m in Manhattan today for work and they made me convert to Islam before I was allowed to purchase my BEC and coffee this morning. Inshallah I’m able to get a slice of pizza tonight because the ration lines are so long.
Tuberville: “We just saw what happened in NY. We lost NY. It will be completely Muslim in 3-4 years. That’s what they want. And it’s going to spread throughout the country.”
November 7, 2025 at 9:31 PM
This is 100% true. I’m in Manhattan today for work and they made me convert to Islam before I was allowed to purchase my BEC and coffee this morning. Inshallah I’m able to get a slice of pizza tonight because the ration lines are so long.
I got given a bottle of Yellow Tail Shiraz by some colleagues who obviously don’t like me. It’s absolutely disgusting. Sweet and cloying like some sort of Poundland cough syrup. I’m going to drink it all, of course, but I thought I’d better pop in and make it clear I consider myself better than you.
November 7, 2025 at 11:27 PM
I got given a bottle of Yellow Tail Shiraz by some colleagues who obviously don’t like me. It’s absolutely disgusting. Sweet and cloying like some sort of Poundland cough syrup. I’m going to drink it all, of course, but I thought I’d better pop in and make it clear I consider myself better than you.
If you’re in the market for a podcast to help you fall asleep, i highly recommend The Old Front Line. It’s presented by a historian called Paul Reed in a brilliantly calm, steady manner, so even though the subject matter is hardly relaxing, it just sends you off. It’s fascinating stuff, too.
November 5, 2025 at 12:32 AM
If you’re in the market for a podcast to help you fall asleep, i highly recommend The Old Front Line. It’s presented by a historian called Paul Reed in a brilliantly calm, steady manner, so even though the subject matter is hardly relaxing, it just sends you off. It’s fascinating stuff, too.
Imagine how much nicer New York would be if it contained a million fewer racists.
November 4, 2025 at 8:58 AM
Imagine how much nicer New York would be if it contained a million fewer racists.
So, according to my neighbours, answering the door to trick and/or treaters while wearing a clown mask, holding a large cleaver, and with “Die Motherfucker Die” by popular beat combo Dope playing loudly in the background, is neither “funny” nor “endearing”. I mean, come on.
October 31, 2025 at 9:35 PM
So, according to my neighbours, answering the door to trick and/or treaters while wearing a clown mask, holding a large cleaver, and with “Die Motherfucker Die” by popular beat combo Dope playing loudly in the background, is neither “funny” nor “endearing”. I mean, come on.
Have you seen Alien Earth yet? You should, it’s really very good. And Timothy Olyphant with the white hair and the kindly-go-fuck-yourself attitude is giving me all the moists. All of them.
August 24, 2025 at 12:17 AM
Have you seen Alien Earth yet? You should, it’s really very good. And Timothy Olyphant with the white hair and the kindly-go-fuck-yourself attitude is giving me all the moists. All of them.
Reposted by CharmlessNurk
Red Squirrels + Motorway Service Station + Leisure Centre - All your money
= Center Parcs
= Center Parcs
July 9, 2025 at 9:48 PM
Red Squirrels + Motorway Service Station + Leisure Centre - All your money
= Center Parcs
= Center Parcs
Twitter is an absolute MAGA clusterwank, following Dumblefuck’s latest pitch for a Nobel peace prize. I mean, sure, it’s always an absolute MAGA clusterwank, but even more so right now. A veritable lubed-up fascist circle jerk. There are going to be some Nazis with very sore wrists tomorrow.
June 22, 2025 at 5:37 AM
Twitter is an absolute MAGA clusterwank, following Dumblefuck’s latest pitch for a Nobel peace prize. I mean, sure, it’s always an absolute MAGA clusterwank, but even more so right now. A veritable lubed-up fascist circle jerk. There are going to be some Nazis with very sore wrists tomorrow.
People who collect Funko Pop figurines: who hurt you?
June 3, 2025 at 9:39 PM
People who collect Funko Pop figurines: who hurt you?
I thought it would be nice to watch all the Mission Impossible films again before I see the latest. The second one is, well… if it wasn’t for the writing, acting, direction, cinematography and music, it might be just about watchable. Utter piss. I’m amazed they were ever allowed to make any more.
May 31, 2025 at 9:46 PM
I thought it would be nice to watch all the Mission Impossible films again before I see the latest. The second one is, well… if it wasn’t for the writing, acting, direction, cinematography and music, it might be just about watchable. Utter piss. I’m amazed they were ever allowed to make any more.
Would the owner of a blue Renault Twingo, registration number BIG T1T5, please report to reception.
May 8, 2025 at 8:12 PM
Would the owner of a blue Renault Twingo, registration number BIG T1T5, please report to reception.
Tomato - everyone - aubergine - thinks - potato - we’re - turnip - cunts.
May 6, 2025 at 6:46 AM
Tomato - everyone - aubergine - thinks - potato - we’re - turnip - cunts.
From a job description I've been sent. Think I'll pass, thanks.
April 30, 2025 at 10:53 PM
From a job description I've been sent. Think I'll pass, thanks.
I’m lying in bed listening to Lukaszewski’s “Rosary Prayer” sung by the State Choir of Latvia. Next I will listen to Tallis’s “Salvator mundi”. It’s in Dolby Atmos surround sound on stereo Apple HomePods. It’s quite nice. I am telling you all this because I am, of course, a colossal fucking wanker.
April 26, 2025 at 10:16 PM
I’m lying in bed listening to Lukaszewski’s “Rosary Prayer” sung by the State Choir of Latvia. Next I will listen to Tallis’s “Salvator mundi”. It’s in Dolby Atmos surround sound on stereo Apple HomePods. It’s quite nice. I am telling you all this because I am, of course, a colossal fucking wanker.
I’ve given myself tummy ache from eating cheese which means I have eaten the correct amount of cheese.
April 25, 2025 at 10:39 PM
I’ve given myself tummy ache from eating cheese which means I have eaten the correct amount of cheese.
Anyone know of a holiday company that can arrange for me to spend 3 or so months in a campervan in a non-frozen bit of Canada where nobody else is? Ideally with wheat fields from horizon to horizon, though this might be negotiable.
April 25, 2025 at 9:51 PM
Anyone know of a holiday company that can arrange for me to spend 3 or so months in a campervan in a non-frozen bit of Canada where nobody else is? Ideally with wheat fields from horizon to horizon, though this might be negotiable.
Reckon they should offer the Pope gig to Justin Welby. He believes in all that God rubbish, likes living in a big house full of stuff, and has a proven track record of ignoring institutional child sexual abuse. Ticks all the boxes.
April 21, 2025 at 10:11 PM
Reckon they should offer the Pope gig to Justin Welby. He believes in all that God rubbish, likes living in a big house full of stuff, and has a proven track record of ignoring institutional child sexual abuse. Ticks all the boxes.
The biography section of Jiminy Glick’s Wikipedia page is a fascinating read.
April 20, 2025 at 9:00 PM
The biography section of Jiminy Glick’s Wikipedia page is a fascinating read.
My son - who says he did music lessons at school but can’t read music and isn’t entirely sure of the names and positions of keys on a piano - has asked me to teach him how to play Bohemian Rhapsody. And I’ve said okay. Send vodka and tranquilizers.
April 20, 2025 at 6:16 PM
My son - who says he did music lessons at school but can’t read music and isn’t entirely sure of the names and positions of keys on a piano - has asked me to teach him how to play Bohemian Rhapsody. And I’ve said okay. Send vodka and tranquilizers.
In case you haven’t noticed, there’s only a ruddy bloody new episode of Dear Joan & Jericha on the podcasts.
April 19, 2025 at 9:29 AM
In case you haven’t noticed, there’s only a ruddy bloody new episode of Dear Joan & Jericha on the podcasts.