CJ Loman
@ceejayloman.bsky.social
White Sox. Chi forever. Recovering performer.
It’s great to be alive.
It’s great to be alive.
ORDERLY : *opens creaky cell door* it’s been weeks in iso sir you ready to play nice yet boss
ME : JUST SAYING I CAN HATE ICE *AND* LOVE HOW QUIET MY FUCKIN’ BLOC——
*cell door slams*
ME : JUST SAYING I CAN HATE ICE *AND* LOVE HOW QUIET MY FUCKIN’ BLOC——
*cell door slams*
October 31, 2025 at 12:12 PM
ORDERLY : *opens creaky cell door* it’s been weeks in iso sir you ready to play nice yet boss
ME : JUST SAYING I CAN HATE ICE *AND* LOVE HOW QUIET MY FUCKIN’ BLOC——
*cell door slams*
ME : JUST SAYING I CAN HATE ICE *AND* LOVE HOW QUIET MY FUCKIN’ BLOC——
*cell door slams*
Introducing FIREBALL ZERO! With that same great Fireball taste you know and love, with 25% less projectile vomiting! Look for it in that shitty liquor store in your area that’s a front for the mob!
FIREBALL ZERO! it’s no stupider than any other fake booze you sanctimonious chucklefucks drink! 😊
FIREBALL ZERO! it’s no stupider than any other fake booze you sanctimonious chucklefucks drink! 😊
October 21, 2025 at 7:52 PM
Introducing FIREBALL ZERO! With that same great Fireball taste you know and love, with 25% less projectile vomiting! Look for it in that shitty liquor store in your area that’s a front for the mob!
FIREBALL ZERO! it’s no stupider than any other fake booze you sanctimonious chucklefucks drink! 😊
FIREBALL ZERO! it’s no stupider than any other fake booze you sanctimonious chucklefucks drink! 😊
Art.
October 15, 2025 at 3:14 AM
Art.
Art.
October 15, 2025 at 3:11 AM
Art.
ME : i’d say i’m more of an Ibuprofen ADHD/sociopath my own self amirite
DOC : yyyyeah i’m just gunna go ahead and extend this hold another 72 hrs or so buddy
DOC : yyyyeah i’m just gunna go ahead and extend this hold another 72 hrs or so buddy
September 26, 2025 at 9:49 PM
ME : i’d say i’m more of an Ibuprofen ADHD/sociopath my own self amirite
DOC : yyyyeah i’m just gunna go ahead and extend this hold another 72 hrs or so buddy
DOC : yyyyeah i’m just gunna go ahead and extend this hold another 72 hrs or so buddy
seriously only goose-steppers love trains more gtfoh
September 23, 2025 at 8:45 PM
seriously only goose-steppers love trains more gtfoh
some @decemberists.bsky.social just to fuck with people. just a live chorus of fifty white dudes with flannel shirts and acoustic guitars all shouting AS IT EVER WAS, SO WILL IT BE AGAIN / HOSANNA, HOSAAAANNAAA YEAH lol bryce harper would shit his britches
if you were a closer in major league baseball what would your entrance music be
August 3, 2025 at 12:45 AM
some @decemberists.bsky.social just to fuck with people. just a live chorus of fifty white dudes with flannel shirts and acoustic guitars all shouting AS IT EVER WAS, SO WILL IT BE AGAIN / HOSANNA, HOSAAAANNAAA YEAH lol bryce harper would shit his britches
true crime pods/shows suck cuz the ppl they interview have to fake like they like the victim(s)
nah imma tell dateline summa y’all were assholes who had some serial killin’ comin’, and i will expect no less an honor from you dickweeds in return
nah imma tell dateline summa y’all were assholes who had some serial killin’ comin’, and i will expect no less an honor from you dickweeds in return
August 3, 2025 at 12:40 AM
true crime pods/shows suck cuz the ppl they interview have to fake like they like the victim(s)
nah imma tell dateline summa y’all were assholes who had some serial killin’ comin’, and i will expect no less an honor from you dickweeds in return
nah imma tell dateline summa y’all were assholes who had some serial killin’ comin’, and i will expect no less an honor from you dickweeds in return
THEY FUCKING CAVED AND THEY FUCKING THREW @stephencolbert.bsky.social OFF THE FUCKING AIR BECAUSE THEY ARE FUCKING PISSY-PANTS AFRAID OF THE BIG PISSY PANTSED RAPIST.
WHAT A SAD SAD FUCKING DAY
WHAT A SAD SAD FUCKING DAY
July 18, 2025 at 11:55 AM
THEY FUCKING CAVED AND THEY FUCKING THREW @stephencolbert.bsky.social OFF THE FUCKING AIR BECAUSE THEY ARE FUCKING PISSY-PANTS AFRAID OF THE BIG PISSY PANTSED RAPIST.
WHAT A SAD SAD FUCKING DAY
WHAT A SAD SAD FUCKING DAY
i hate ICE
but i do love how most ppl in my neighborhood drive lately 🤭🐸☕️😉
but i do love how most ppl in my neighborhood drive lately 🤭🐸☕️😉
July 18, 2025 at 11:52 AM
i hate ICE
but i do love how most ppl in my neighborhood drive lately 🤭🐸☕️😉
but i do love how most ppl in my neighborhood drive lately 🤭🐸☕️😉
YOU GOTDAMN STRAIGHT @chriswarcraft.bsky.social I SALUTE YOU SIR 🙌🏽 (donation as you asked to @thetrevorproject.bsky.social forthcoming)
June 15, 2025 at 2:05 AM
YOU GOTDAMN STRAIGHT @chriswarcraft.bsky.social I SALUTE YOU SIR 🙌🏽 (donation as you asked to @thetrevorproject.bsky.social forthcoming)
ME : narwhals wit attitudes
SHRINK : yeah i’m gonna go ahead and extend that psych hold another 72 hours actually
SHRINK : yeah i’m gonna go ahead and extend that psych hold another 72 hours actually
June 3, 2025 at 4:49 AM
ME : narwhals wit attitudes
SHRINK : yeah i’m gonna go ahead and extend that psych hold another 72 hours actually
SHRINK : yeah i’m gonna go ahead and extend that psych hold another 72 hours actually
you’d be surprised. anything to take the edge off knaamean
What was going on in that raccoon’s life that had him all, “fuck it pass me the meth pipe”
May 15, 2025 at 1:50 PM
you’d be surprised. anything to take the edge off knaamean
Reposted by CJ Loman
ANNOUNCER *bored and flat* : and our returning champion, CJ Loman, whose 254-day cash winnings total eighteen million dollars. also why the hell did we adopt the @jeopardyofficial.bsky.social comeback rule anyways🙄
ME : WHOO HOO WHUSSUP HATERZ LFGGG
SEACREST : just spin the damn wheel and shut up
ME : WHOO HOO WHUSSUP HATERZ LFGGG
SEACREST : just spin the damn wheel and shut up
May 15, 2025 at 1:33 PM
ANNOUNCER *bored and flat* : and our returning champion, CJ Loman, whose 254-day cash winnings total eighteen million dollars. also why the hell did we adopt the @jeopardyofficial.bsky.social comeback rule anyways🙄
ME : WHOO HOO WHUSSUP HATERZ LFGGG
SEACREST : just spin the damn wheel and shut up
ME : WHOO HOO WHUSSUP HATERZ LFGGG
SEACREST : just spin the damn wheel and shut up
ME : hey gurl whassup so I hear you’re recently single
DOLLY PARTON : [bear maces me to hell]
DOLLY PARTON : [bear maces me to hell]
April 5, 2025 at 11:43 PM
ME : hey gurl whassup so I hear you’re recently single
DOLLY PARTON : [bear maces me to hell]
DOLLY PARTON : [bear maces me to hell]
*dragged away by workers serving a 5150 order* CALLING EXPLODING TESLAS “HERR FRYERS” IS FUNNY AND YOU CLOWNS *KNOW* THAT’S FUNNY
March 21, 2025 at 11:21 AM
*dragged away by workers serving a 5150 order* CALLING EXPLODING TESLAS “HERR FRYERS” IS FUNNY AND YOU CLOWNS *KNOW* THAT’S FUNNY
though both king and pawn
wind up in the same box, it’s
usually your mom’s
wind up in the same box, it’s
usually your mom’s
March 12, 2025 at 8:43 PM
though both king and pawn
wind up in the same box, it’s
usually your mom’s
wind up in the same box, it’s
usually your mom’s
if heaven don’t look like this i ain’t even tryna go
February 13, 2025 at 2:38 AM
if heaven don’t look like this i ain’t even tryna go
must still be Nov. the obnoxious c*nts I hate are gonna fuckin’ win again. cool.
February 10, 2025 at 2:39 AM
must still be Nov. the obnoxious c*nts I hate are gonna fuckin’ win again. cool.
ME : if you read his tweets in the style of an evil galaxy-wrecking klingon character named KHAN YE WEST it makes more sense and is actually kinda funny
THERAPIST: i’m actually just gonna go ahead and leave now
THERAPIST: i’m actually just gonna go ahead and leave now
a man in a suit and bow tie is saying why would you say something so controversial yet so brave ..
ALT: a man in a suit and bow tie is saying why would you say something so controversial yet so brave ..
media.tenor.com
February 9, 2025 at 11:57 PM
ME : if you read his tweets in the style of an evil galaxy-wrecking klingon character named KHAN YE WEST it makes more sense and is actually kinda funny
THERAPIST: i’m actually just gonna go ahead and leave now
THERAPIST: i’m actually just gonna go ahead and leave now
“[Aaron Rodgers] could annoy a pot of soup.” O GREAT @rayratto.bsky.social. LIVE FOREVER KING
Aaron Rodgers’s Jets tenure ended in true Jets fashion:
Aaron Rodgers's Jets Tenure Ended In True Jets Fashion | Defector
Brick Johnson wields a sure, swift sword, and even if he didn’t wield this one, it’s nice to think he did without even looking up from his Fortnite screen. This might just be a sins-of-the-father vehi...
defector.com
February 9, 2025 at 9:44 PM
“[Aaron Rodgers] could annoy a pot of soup.” O GREAT @rayratto.bsky.social. LIVE FOREVER KING
ever been so f*cked up while flipping thru the family photo album you don’t even realize it’s really just a copy of the DSM-5
February 6, 2025 at 6:07 PM
ever been so f*cked up while flipping thru the family photo album you don’t even realize it’s really just a copy of the DSM-5