Carm
@carminabelljar.bsky.social
21 • ednos • 6’1 •
dni :: minors • fatphobic • non edsky
tw :: 🍷🍃💊🔪
dni :: minors • fatphobic • non edsky
tw :: 🍷🍃💊🔪
my best friend is depressed so she is negative 24/7 and spends every day with me. i want to support her but it’s starting to really effect my mental state & burn me out. im craving positive social interaction but too tired to socialise with strangers 😔
December 5, 2025 at 5:14 PM
my best friend is depressed so she is negative 24/7 and spends every day with me. i want to support her but it’s starting to really effect my mental state & burn me out. im craving positive social interaction but too tired to socialise with strangers 😔
I deserve this. I have lived through such a dense, complex pile of traumatic experiences. I fucking deserve to finally get a break. To get it right. I deserve to be happy.
December 5, 2025 at 2:32 PM
I deserve this. I have lived through such a dense, complex pile of traumatic experiences. I fucking deserve to finally get a break. To get it right. I deserve to be happy.
I spent my whole childhood self-destructing to try to prove that i was in agony i couldn’t verbalise, only to be trapped in the same patterns as an adult with only the expectation of healing myself.
December 4, 2025 at 10:34 AM
I spent my whole childhood self-destructing to try to prove that i was in agony i couldn’t verbalise, only to be trapped in the same patterns as an adult with only the expectation of healing myself.
I am hungry 47/7 even after eating and I cannot stop thinking about food SAVE MEEEEE
November 30, 2025 at 2:41 PM
I am hungry 47/7 even after eating and I cannot stop thinking about food SAVE MEEEEE
I have to write a character reference for my father and I feel the child me explaining to the police what mums ex did in my head
November 28, 2025 at 9:30 PM
I have to write a character reference for my father and I feel the child me explaining to the police what mums ex did in my head
1L water, lecture & a walk later the pain is now mild 🥳
me: i don’t have an ED & I’m just weird with food
also me: lays on the floor for 15m from the pain & nausea of reactive hunger because i’d rather that than eat
also me: lays on the floor for 15m from the pain & nausea of reactive hunger because i’d rather that than eat
November 25, 2025 at 3:54 PM
1L water, lecture & a walk later the pain is now mild 🥳
me: i don’t have an ED & I’m just weird with food
also me: lays on the floor for 15m from the pain & nausea of reactive hunger because i’d rather that than eat
also me: lays on the floor for 15m from the pain & nausea of reactive hunger because i’d rather that than eat
November 25, 2025 at 1:29 PM
me: i don’t have an ED & I’m just weird with food
also me: lays on the floor for 15m from the pain & nausea of reactive hunger because i’d rather that than eat
also me: lays on the floor for 15m from the pain & nausea of reactive hunger because i’d rather that than eat
my father’s trial is today and i missed his call bc i was getting on the train home from seeing a SD. this is the first time my body has even considered crying since i broke up w my ex 2 months ago.
November 24, 2025 at 11:50 AM
my father’s trial is today and i missed his call bc i was getting on the train home from seeing a SD. this is the first time my body has even considered crying since i broke up w my ex 2 months ago.
why do doctors never make u take ur shoes off when they weigh u like fuck u i’m not acc that heavy
November 19, 2025 at 1:39 PM
why do doctors never make u take ur shoes off when they weigh u like fuck u i’m not acc that heavy
the nausea is starting to really hurt but i refuse to eat esp when im starting birth control today
November 19, 2025 at 9:21 AM
the nausea is starting to really hurt but i refuse to eat esp when im starting birth control today
I’M FREE FROM THE CONSTRAINTS OF THERAPY LETS GOOOOOO
November 18, 2025 at 2:55 PM
I’M FREE FROM THE CONSTRAINTS OF THERAPY LETS GOOOOOO
got an appt for birth control so i don’t get pregnant by a man 2.5x my age lol. if i had to have another abortion i would go insane.
November 16, 2025 at 3:20 PM
got an appt for birth control so i don’t get pregnant by a man 2.5x my age lol. if i had to have another abortion i would go insane.
guys apparently if you start actually acknowledging & fulfilling your needs then living becomes … bearable????
AND if you *prioritise* those needs life becomes…. actually enjoyable????????
child me is rolling in her grave rn.
AND if you *prioritise* those needs life becomes…. actually enjoyable????????
child me is rolling in her grave rn.
November 15, 2025 at 3:27 PM
guys apparently if you start actually acknowledging & fulfilling your needs then living becomes … bearable????
AND if you *prioritise* those needs life becomes…. actually enjoyable????????
child me is rolling in her grave rn.
AND if you *prioritise* those needs life becomes…. actually enjoyable????????
child me is rolling in her grave rn.
only problem currently is that my fav SD is starting to notice how little I eat esp around him :/ so I have to start fasting again a day or two before we meet so I can eat a “normal” amount
November 15, 2025 at 2:31 PM
only problem currently is that my fav SD is starting to notice how little I eat esp around him :/ so I have to start fasting again a day or two before we meet so I can eat a “normal” amount
already speaking about if we were to switch to allowance with my fave SD, the other collared me on the second meet, both worship the ground I walk on, perfume has been restocked, saw a west end theatre show for the first time, i have literally never felt sexier.
November 15, 2025 at 2:30 PM
already speaking about if we were to switch to allowance with my fave SD, the other collared me on the second meet, both worship the ground I walk on, perfume has been restocked, saw a west end theatre show for the first time, i have literally never felt sexier.
impulsively running away to see SD #2 who’s plans got cancelled literally 5 hours after getting home from SD #1 both 😭😭
November 14, 2025 at 4:12 PM
impulsively running away to see SD #2 who’s plans got cancelled literally 5 hours after getting home from SD #1 both 😭😭
I am sexy. I am intelligent. I am kind. I am perfect. I am sexy. I am intelligent. I am kind. I am perfect. I am sexy. I am intelligent. I am kind. I am perfect. I am sexy. I am intelligent. I am kind. I am perfect. I am sexy. I am intelligent. I am kind. I am perfect. I am sexy. I am intelligent. I
November 12, 2025 at 1:19 PM
I am sexy. I am intelligent. I am kind. I am perfect. I am sexy. I am intelligent. I am kind. I am perfect. I am sexy. I am intelligent. I am kind. I am perfect. I am sexy. I am intelligent. I am kind. I am perfect. I am sexy. I am intelligent. I am kind. I am perfect. I am sexy. I am intelligent. I
uh ohhhh i’m getting hypersexual & my friend alr had a rant at me for unprotected oopssss
November 9, 2025 at 9:25 PM
uh ohhhh i’m getting hypersexual & my friend alr had a rant at me for unprotected oopssss
perks of being intimidating: i found a sd who is attracted to women being more intelligent than him????
November 8, 2025 at 5:17 PM
perks of being intimidating: i found a sd who is attracted to women being more intelligent than him????
I in fact am so good at sugar babying that I am starting to really like my sd lmao i’m so fucked
November 8, 2025 at 11:58 AM
I in fact am so good at sugar babying that I am starting to really like my sd lmao i’m so fucked
getting w older men & realising they make me feel more valued & special than my ex did after the first 6 months lol
November 7, 2025 at 3:08 PM
getting w older men & realising they make me feel more valued & special than my ex did after the first 6 months lol
Need a new honeymoon era? Spend 85% of your time with men who see you as a trophy to be collected!!! Fasting has never been easier 😍🔥
WARNING side effects may include: constant nausea, stomach pain, cramps, dehydration, constant need for validation, addiction, sleep deprivation, loneliness
WARNING side effects may include: constant nausea, stomach pain, cramps, dehydration, constant need for validation, addiction, sleep deprivation, loneliness
October 29, 2025 at 8:47 PM
Need a new honeymoon era? Spend 85% of your time with men who see you as a trophy to be collected!!! Fasting has never been easier 😍🔥
WARNING side effects may include: constant nausea, stomach pain, cramps, dehydration, constant need for validation, addiction, sleep deprivation, loneliness
WARNING side effects may include: constant nausea, stomach pain, cramps, dehydration, constant need for validation, addiction, sleep deprivation, loneliness
I exist to be helpful.
October 29, 2025 at 8:44 PM
I exist to be helpful.
If I tell myself I want it for long enough I’ll believe it.
October 29, 2025 at 8:43 PM
If I tell myself I want it for long enough I’ll believe it.
6 months ago I was sex repulsed and now I’m making an income solely through sex work lmfaoooo
(kill me please)
(kill me please)
October 29, 2025 at 8:42 PM
6 months ago I was sex repulsed and now I’m making an income solely through sex work lmfaoooo
(kill me please)
(kill me please)