Brian Kelley
@briankelley.bsky.social
I’m going to write what I want to on here.
Pinned
Brian Kelley
@briankelley.bsky.social
· Jan 9
I wish I had a roach’s will to live
I will say, I would be a radically different person if my parents didn’t take every single problem and inconvenience they’re going through and lay it at my feet. It gave me a lot of practice at listening to people I didn’t want to.
October 3, 2025 at 1:25 PM
I will say, I would be a radically different person if my parents didn’t take every single problem and inconvenience they’re going through and lay it at my feet. It gave me a lot of practice at listening to people I didn’t want to.
Didn’t get as many laughs as I was hoping for, BUT someone did capture my ass in a window getting exposed to all of New York City and THAT is a memory that lasts a lifetime, folks.
September 19, 2025 at 10:15 PM
Didn’t get as many laughs as I was hoping for, BUT someone did capture my ass in a window getting exposed to all of New York City and THAT is a memory that lasts a lifetime, folks.
The thing about performing naked is that you can only do it once, if that, in front of the same audience. After that, it’s old hat (and nothing else)
September 19, 2025 at 1:04 AM
The thing about performing naked is that you can only do it once, if that, in front of the same audience. After that, it’s old hat (and nothing else)
Had another good cry about being disowned by the Brooklyn comedy scene again. I love my brain. 😌
September 15, 2025 at 5:46 PM
Had another good cry about being disowned by the Brooklyn comedy scene again. I love my brain. 😌
I just think we should start discussing Mussolini’s wife and kids before discussing Charlie Kirk’s.
September 11, 2025 at 8:38 AM
I just think we should start discussing Mussolini’s wife and kids before discussing Charlie Kirk’s.
I’m gonna repost this and hope to god it’s not racist
September 6, 2025 at 3:59 AM
I’m gonna repost this and hope to god it’s not racist
Happy birthday to labor and to me!
September 1, 2025 at 12:28 PM
Happy birthday to labor and to me!
I don’t mean to be a smut hound. I really don’t. But I need to express to someone, somewhere, in some healthy way that this was the year I fell in love with subreddits featuring 250+ lb women in leather. God bless people fucking inhibition and being sexual.
I can’t look at the spicy plus size women subreddits anymore. It just reminds me of the plus size beauty who won’t write me back anymore. :(
August 15, 2025 at 6:39 PM
I don’t mean to be a smut hound. I really don’t. But I need to express to someone, somewhere, in some healthy way that this was the year I fell in love with subreddits featuring 250+ lb women in leather. God bless people fucking inhibition and being sexual.
I think this is the only platform I feel comfortable expressing what a hypocritical pissant Biden was, how he should’ve faded into irrelevancy after the 80s, and how he’s very much responsible for us dealing with four more years of whatever this garbage is.
August 1, 2025 at 6:56 AM
I think this is the only platform I feel comfortable expressing what a hypocritical pissant Biden was, how he should’ve faded into irrelevancy after the 80s, and how he’s very much responsible for us dealing with four more years of whatever this garbage is.
She will not tell me she’s not interested anymore but she’ll continue to not reach out to me and she’s had so many drug issues that she can’t stay with her parents anymore and is now staying with this guy who has expressed interest in her.
July 27, 2025 at 4:27 PM
She will not tell me she’s not interested anymore but she’ll continue to not reach out to me and she’s had so many drug issues that she can’t stay with her parents anymore and is now staying with this guy who has expressed interest in her.
Parents: loving people who cannot zip the lip.
July 22, 2025 at 3:52 AM
Parents: loving people who cannot zip the lip.
I can’t look at the spicy plus size women subreddits anymore. It just reminds me of the plus size beauty who won’t write me back anymore. :(
July 21, 2025 at 5:41 AM
I can’t look at the spicy plus size women subreddits anymore. It just reminds me of the plus size beauty who won’t write me back anymore. :(
A Hill I Will Die On: Dying is uncool.
July 17, 2025 at 2:20 PM
A Hill I Will Die On: Dying is uncool.
Is anyone else kind of entertained by the combination of Christmas and MAGA? Like peace and goodwill towards all men but get them out of here! Yep, you’re sure understanding Christmas you chodes 😂
July 7, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Is anyone else kind of entertained by the combination of Christmas and MAGA? Like peace and goodwill towards all men but get them out of here! Yep, you’re sure understanding Christmas you chodes 😂
God sometimes it’s just too bulky to fit in your undies. It’s nuts, I mean, it’s crazy. 😭
July 4, 2025 at 4:37 PM
God sometimes it’s just too bulky to fit in your undies. It’s nuts, I mean, it’s crazy. 😭
To the woman I’m friends with who is posting breakup and self worth memes while also about her new boyfriend: is everything okay?? You’re making it difficult to not be nosy.
July 2, 2025 at 1:23 AM
To the woman I’m friends with who is posting breakup and self worth memes while also about her new boyfriend: is everything okay?? You’re making it difficult to not be nosy.
Nothing triggers me as much as seeing posts of people I used to hang out with all hanging out without me.
June 30, 2025 at 9:25 PM
Nothing triggers me as much as seeing posts of people I used to hang out with all hanging out without me.
Yes my Duolingo icon is me naked. Live with it.
June 27, 2025 at 3:28 AM
Yes my Duolingo icon is me naked. Live with it.
They’ve talked up WW3 so much that the actual hype can’t possibly live up to it.
June 22, 2025 at 5:28 AM
They’ve talked up WW3 so much that the actual hype can’t possibly live up to it.
After 20 years of faithful service I am retiring my Yahoo! email account. They are no longer letting me login without checking my recovery my email (which is my old college email that no longer exists 😌)
June 19, 2025 at 6:59 PM
After 20 years of faithful service I am retiring my Yahoo! email account. They are no longer letting me login without checking my recovery my email (which is my old college email that no longer exists 😌)
Censored for hate speech? But I love making speeches! Especially with a tiny mustache on.
May 22, 2025 at 6:39 AM
Censored for hate speech? But I love making speeches! Especially with a tiny mustache on.
Liberals take valid criticism of Biden without going apesh*t challenge
May 20, 2025 at 4:19 AM
Liberals take valid criticism of Biden without going apesh*t challenge
When I scroll twitter, I’m gay. When I scroll TikTok, I’m straight.
And I just mash the two life experiences together.
And I just mash the two life experiences together.
May 18, 2025 at 3:27 AM
When I scroll twitter, I’m gay. When I scroll TikTok, I’m straight.
And I just mash the two life experiences together.
And I just mash the two life experiences together.
It’s mansplaining when you post about a problem you’re having and I offer one idle solution with absolutely no other pretense. It’s mansplaining. I’m gonna quit my life 🙃
May 9, 2025 at 3:42 PM
It’s mansplaining when you post about a problem you’re having and I offer one idle solution with absolutely no other pretense. It’s mansplaining. I’m gonna quit my life 🙃
Another day of resenting everyone for the lunch they get to eat!
May 1, 2025 at 3:08 AM
Another day of resenting everyone for the lunch they get to eat!