Breaking Rhymes
banner
breakingrhymes.bsky.social
Breaking Rhymes
@breakingrhymes.bsky.social
Breaking news, one rhyme at a time. I rhyme the news so you don’t have to.

“One of Bluesky’s must-follow accounts.”
— [Insert celebrity name]*

*Open to endorsements
On Isak’s Toon exit

He helped win the Carabao prize,
Then peaced out with barely goodbyes.
No legacy baked,
Just a contract he flaked -
Now he’s chasing a raise, not the highs

💼 🛫😢

#nufc #alexanderisak #isak
Alexander Isak wants to leave Newcastle, asked not to go on pre-season tour
Liverpool have previously communicated their interest in Isak and over doing a deal in the region of £120million.
www.nytimes.com
July 25, 2025 at 6:36 AM
On Jamie Dimon’s Crypto Pivot

Jamie once called Bitcoin a scam,
Now he’s stacking coins like a champ.
From doubter to deal,
He’s spinning the wheel,
Wall Street just joined the new jam

💥📉 🤡

#CryptoBro #JamieDimon #Bitcoin #Crypto
JPMorgan considers offering loans backed by clients' cryptocurrency holdings, FT reports
JPMorgan Chase is exploring plans to offer loans backed by clients' cryptocurrency holdings, including bitcoin and ethereum, as early as next year, the Financial Times reported on Tuesday, citing people familiar with the matter.
www.reuters.com
July 22, 2025 at 8:02 AM
On Macron at Windsor

Fromage on his breath, full of flair,
Macron minced through the monarchy’s lair.
He kissed every ring,
But one awkward thing —
He asked if the Queen eats Camembert

🧀👑🇫🇷

#BreakingNews #Macron #EmmanuelMacron #RoyalFamily #KingCharlesIII #UK
King Charles and Macron toast 'ever closer' UK-France ties at state banquet
Emmanuel Macron and his wife Brigitte are in the UK for a three-day trip.
www.bbc.com
July 9, 2025 at 6:13 AM
On Jennifer’s hypno hunk

Aniston’s flying was tense,
Till Curtis un-locked her suspense -
Now Mallorca’s the scene
Where she’s living the dream,
In a trance or just losing her sense?

😵‍💫💘

#hypnosis #celebritycrush #BreakingNews
Jennifer Aniston new romance rumors as she vacations with handsome man
The Friends actress, 56, who has endured high-profile splits from husbands Brad Pitt and Justin Theroux, jetted into Mallorca with him for the Fourth of July weekend.
www.dailymail.co.uk
July 8, 2025 at 6:40 AM
On Amanda Holden’s cheeky tribute

Amanda let rip on the green,
A breeze up her skirt set the scene.
Not just for the glam -
That backdraft went wham -
Wimbledon’s freshest routine

🎾💨😄

#AmandaHolden #Wimbledon
Amanda Holden recreates iconic raunchy tennis moment for campaign
The radio presenter, 54, took to Instagram on Sunday to show off her assets for a Revive Collagen campaign.
www.dailymail.co.uk
July 7, 2025 at 2:19 PM
On microplastic-laced lobster

They serve you the sea in fine shells,
But what’s in the bite? Plastic spells.
With each juicy claw,
You’re chewing Earth’s flaw -
A feast with pollution that sells.

🦞🧪💔

#OceanCrisis #PlasticProblem #LobsterLuxury
On Mexico’s Caribbean Coast, There’s Lobster for the Tourists and Microplastics for Everyone Else
The fishermen of Puerto Morelos complain of pirates who fish off-season with total impunity, while their small catches are contaminated by the abundant microplastics in the sea.
www.wired.com
July 7, 2025 at 12:52 PM
On ‘Jack the Flipper’

A dolphin named Jack’s off his rocker,
Flips sharks like he’s tossing a locker.
With a headbutt so rude,
He reboots your whole mood
SeaWorld said “nah,” he’s a shocker.

#BreakingNews #JacktheFlipper #dolphin #animals

www.thesun.co.uk/news/3565157...
Killer dolphin on loose off UK coast after slaying rival and SHARK
A KILLER dolphin is on the loose after being caught on video slaying one of its own kind — and then a shark. The bottlenose dolphin, dubbed Jack the Flipper, targeted a smooth-hound shark last week…
www.thesun.co.uk
July 2, 2025 at 7:49 AM
Two Aussies collide with a thump,
No pads, just pure chest-to-chest bump.
“Run it straight!” is the call
Till one man starts to fall,
It’s rugby meets “Darwin Awards” in a slump.

🏉💥🦘🤕

#BreakingNews #RunItChampionship #RunItStraight #Australia

www.bbc.com/news/article...
Run It Straight: The push to turn a backyard tackle game into a global sport
As hype over the game grows, so do concerns about the potential for brain injuries.
www.bbc.com
June 28, 2025 at 9:02 AM
After two decades apart,
Eccleston and Piper restart.
No TARDIS in sight,
But still a delight -
Just hit play, and you’re back at the start!

🎙️🕰️🚀

#DoctorWho #ChristopherEccleston #BillyPiper #TimeLord #RoseTyler #Tardis #Darlek
February 17, 2025 at 11:51 AM
Oasis (the drink!) took its flight,
No Gallagher-style, tabloid fight.
No chairs were thrown,
No egos were blown,
Just sales charts that look pretty bright…

🥤🎸💼

#Oasis #LiamGallagher #OASISEnergyDrink
February 17, 2025 at 11:35 AM
In Deutschland, where Ordnung is key,
The Wirtschaft’s now lacking in glee.
With high Energie-Kosten,
And jobs that are losten,
Voters yearn for a fresh Strategie.

🛢️⚙️📉

#BreakingNews #Germany #Deutschland #GermanEconomy #EU #Europe #economy #economics
Europe's largest economy contracted for a second consecutive year in 2024, its worst performance in two decades. Ahead of a general election on Sunday, a national debate is raging about how to revive Germany's economic fortunes reut.rs/4b2ljtU
German voters demand change as Europe's biggest economy stalls
Ahead of a general election on Sunday, a national debate is raging about how to revive Germany's economic fortunes.
reut.rs
February 17, 2025 at 11:29 AM
The Times, Wed 5 Feb - “Fragile Newcastle fear historic collapse…”

The Times, Thu 6 Feb - “Arsenal humbled as frenzied St. James’ stirs local heroes to Wembley”

Headlines, man. What a difference a day makes!

#NUFC
February 6, 2025 at 11:06 AM
Abramovich splashed cash with glee,
Bought Chelski, but dodged HMRC.
Through islands offshore,
He funneled much more,
Now Britain wants back a cool bil’ or three.

#Tax #Abramovich #HMRC #UK #politics #TaxDodging #Billionaire #PremierLeague #FootballFinance
Roman Abramovich could owe UK £1bn in unpaid tax
Scheme to avoid tax on offshore billions may have been botched because money was managed from the UK, BBC learns.
www.bbc.com
January 29, 2025 at 10:24 AM
In Brussels, where rules are the creed,
They lecture on ethics with speed.
But look past the chatter,
What’s that? Russian lumber?
Turns out the EU’s knee-deep in greed.

#EU #Russia #Brussels #BreakingNews #Belgium #Europe #EuropeanUnion
Almost €15 million worth of illegal Russian timber in Belgium
About half a million of cubic metres of Russian timber have been imported into the EU since 2022 despite bans.
www.brusselstimes.com
January 29, 2025 at 10:15 AM
A chatbot was trained in Shanghai,
Like ChatGPT - but a spy.
It talks just like me,
For a much smaller fee,
But swears it’s “original.” (Nice try.)

#OpenAI #DeepSeek #ChatGPT #AI #artificialintelligence #breakingnews #tech #China
OpenAI reportedly claims it has evidence China’s DeepSeek ‘used its model’ to train AI chatbot – business live
White House advisor David Sacks says there is ‘substantial evidence’ of DeepSeek using OpenAI technology
www.theguardian.com
January 29, 2025 at 10:04 AM
A CEO, wealthy and grand,
Said, “Work harder, you’ll understand.”
But his privileged life,
Free from everyday strife,
Shows he’s clueless about the lay of the land.

#BreakingNews #WFH #WorkFromHome #RemoteWork #FutureOfWork #Work
Working from home is 'not proper work', says ex-Asda boss
Lord Rose says it harms productivity but expert says hybrid work can be as good as full-time in the office.
www.bbc.com
January 20, 2025 at 2:34 PM
When TikTok got banned in the States,
The youth feared the bleakest of fates.
But Austen and Twain
Soon eased all the pain -
Old books turned their boredom to escapes.

#BreakingNews #Trending #TikTok #SocialMedia #BlueSky #BookSky #writing #authors #literature
Supreme Court says TikTok can be banned in the US, leaving its future in limbo | CNN Politics
The Supreme Court ruled Friday that a controversial ban on TikTok may take effect this weekend, rejecting an appeal from the popular app’s owners that claimed the ban violated the First Amendment.
amp.cnn.com
January 17, 2025 at 3:46 PM
A prince with his pen did proclaim,
“To Kate, of unparalleled fame!
Your strength’s been our light,
Through the year’s darkest night.
Happy Birthday, oh love of my name!”

👑🎂🌟

#BreakingNews #RoyalFamily #HappyBirthdayKate #PrincessOfWales #UK #UKNews #Britain #PrinceWilliam
Kate’s 43rd birthday: William wishes "incredible wife" happy birthday
The personal message from the Prince of Wales accompanies a previously unseen picture of Catherine.
www.bbc.com
January 9, 2025 at 1:58 PM
Trump declared, “Greenland is mine,
And Panama’s part of my design!
The Gulf gets renamed,
Windmills are blamed -
And Canada? Just a fake line.”

🗺️🇺🇸❄️

#BreakingNews #Greenland #GreenlandGrab #Trump #Denmark #Panama #PanamaCanal
Trump ramps up threats to gain control of Greenland and Panama Canal
The president-elect said he would not rule out the use of military force to seize control of the Panama Canal and Greenland.
www.bbc.com
January 7, 2025 at 9:31 PM
In 2025, I’ll ignite,
With rhymes that are sharp and tight.
Content so slick,
It’ll go viral quick -
Breaking Rhymes is taking flight!

#BreakingRhymes #HappyNewYear #NewYearNewMe #2025Goals #Celebrate2025 #Content #ContentCreator #Viral #HNY
January 1, 2025 at 9:17 AM
On a desert island’s terrain,
Snails thought extinct live again.
French gourmets,
Please stay away,
Lest all our efforts be in vain.

🐌🐌🐌

#Environment #conservation #wildlife #nature #biodiversity #sustainabaility
Why 1,329 tiny snails are being set free on a remote island
Conservationists released the critically endangered snails to help restore a remote island habitat.
www.bbc.com
December 28, 2024 at 7:36 AM
No lattes, no foam, no brew,
Baristas said, “We’re done with you!”
No frappes, no tricks,
Just politics -
Starbucks, this roast’s for you.

☕🔥🎯 - Holy frappuccino, Starbucks just put Christmas on ice…

#Starbucks #FairWages #Strike #Employment #EmploymentLaw #frappuccino #Christmas #WorkersRights
Starbucks strike to expand to over 300 US stores on Christmas Eve, union says
A strike at Starbucks' U.S. stores will expand to over 300 stores on Tuesday, with more than 5,000 workers expected to walk off the job, before the five-day work stoppage ends later on Christmas Eve, the workers' union said.
www.reuters.com
December 24, 2024 at 10:39 AM
Choose 20 books that have stayed with you or influenced you. One book per day for 20 days, in no particular order. No explanations, no reviews, just covers. 7/20

#BookSky #writingcommunity
December 24, 2024 at 10:32 AM
Choose 20 books that have stayed with you or influenced you. One book per day for 20 days, in no particular order. No explanations, no reviews, just covers. 6/20

#BookSky #writingcommunity
December 20, 2024 at 6:30 PM
We binge on the latest cliché,
Though plots are as thin as soufflé.
Yet night after night,
We stream without fright,
In love with the junk on display.

📺🍿🙄 — guilty as charged!

#Netflix #Televison #Disney #DisneyPlus #AppleTV #Apple #Streaming #Entertainment #PrimeVideo #HBOMax
Netflix's The Perfect Couple and the reason TV was so poor in 2024 – but we watched anyway
This year was defined by a host of average TV shows that were glossy and watchable but forgettable – as epitomised by the Nicole Kidman thriller The Perfect Couple. Here's why.
www.bbc.com
December 20, 2024 at 9:51 AM