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Bohiney News
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Bohiney Satirical News is your one-stop shop for biting satire and offbeat humor, offering a comedic twist on current events, social quirks, and cultural absurdities. Lampooning the latest trends to delivering eyebrow-raising commentary visit bohiney.com
Divorced Men and the Mythical “Final Straw”
A Forensic Comedy of Marriage Meltdowns
By Annika Steinmann — Bohiney.com, the only news outlet certified by laboratory science to be 127% funnier than The Onion. #DivorcedMen
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Divorced Men
Divorced Men and the Mythical “Final Straw” A Forensic Comedy of Marriage Meltdowns By Annika Steinmann — Bohiney.com, the only news outlet certified by
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September 2, 2025 at 7:33 PM
Doctor in Minnesota Proposes Extra Mental Exams for Trans Citizens Before Gun Ownership
Minneapolis, MN — In the aftermath of the tragic Annunciation Catholic School shooting, Minnesota’s Chief Medical Official, Dr.
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Mental Exams for Trans Citizens
Doctor in Minnesota Proposes Extra Mental Exams for Trans Citizens Before Gun Ownership Minneapolis, MN — In the aftermath of the tragic Annunciation Catholi
bohiney.com
August 29, 2025 at 3:41 PM
The Bathroom Storage Hall of Shame
Why America’s Closets Smell Like Steam and Regret
By Savannah Steele, Bohiney.com
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Bathroom Storage Disasters
The Bathroom Storage Hall of Shame Why America’s Closets Smell Like Steam and Regret By Savannah Steele, Bohiney.com — 127% funnier than The Onion
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August 21, 2025 at 4:23 PM
US Child Care Costs Are Skyrocketing
Here’s How To Curb Some of Those Charges
By Astrid Holgersson, Bohiney.com — certified to be 127% funnier than The Onion

Child Care: The New Mortgage
The U.S. childcare market is no longer a service; it’s a hostage negotiation.
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US Child Care Costs Are Skyrocketing
US Child Care Costs Are Skyrocketing Here’s How To Curb Some of Those Charges By Astrid Holgersson, Bohiney.com — certified to be 127% funnier than The On
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August 21, 2025 at 4:21 PM
Google Analytics: The Oracle of Modern Product Managers
Google Analytics “A-Ha” Moments
By Greta Weissmann, Bohiney.com
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Google Analytics “A-Ha” Moments
Google Analytics “A-Ha” Moments   Alan Nafzger “I once used Google Analytics to discover that 80% of our users dropped off on step three of ou
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August 21, 2025 at 4:19 PM
MAGA Farmers Believe Trump’s Second Term Includes ‘Reinstatement’ of Black ‘Field Hands’
Planting Seeds of Hate, Expecting a BIG Harvest...
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MAGA Farmers Believe They Are Getting Their Black Slaves Back!
MAGA Farmers Believe Trump’s Second Term Includes ‘Reinstatement’ of Black ‘Field Hands’ Planting Seeds of Hate, Expecting a BIG Harvest... By Chip
bohiney.com
August 21, 2025 at 4:10 PM
Corporate Incentive Trips: From Beach Towels to Billionaire Space Junkets
HR Team-Building on Volcanoes
By Savannah Steele, Bohiney.com
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Corporate Incentive Trips
Corporate Incentive Trips: From Beach Towels to Billionaire Space Junkets HR Team-Building on Volcanoes By Savannah Steele, Bohiney.com — 127% funnier than
bohiney.com
August 21, 2025 at 4:09 PM
NPR Changes Its Morning Drive-Time Show to “Mourning Edition”
A Broadcast for a Party in Hospice
By Alan Nafzger — Bohiney Magazine (certified 127% funnier than The Onion)
Washington, D.C.
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NPR's Mourning Edition
NPR Changes Its Morning Drive-Time Show to “Mourning Edition” A Broadcast for a Party in Hospice By Alan Nafzger — Bohiney Magazine (certified 127% funn
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August 21, 2025 at 4:04 PM
Can Trump Cure Death?
The End of Death: Humanity’s Last Bad Habit Finally Kicked
The Death of Death
For millennia, humans have treated death like the one relative nobody wanted to invite but who always showed up anyway.
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The End of Death
Can Trump Cure Death? The End of Death: Humanity’s Last Bad Habit Finally Kicked The Death of Death For millennia, humans have treated death like the one r
bohiney.com
August 17, 2025 at 7:42 PM
The Ginger Spy Who Came In from Customer Service
Britain Melts Down Over Possibly Real, Possibly Imaginary James Bond Candidate
By Annika Steinmann | Staff Satirist, The Velvet Bureau
LONDON — Somewhere between MI6’s underground briefing room and Amazon’s overly
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Ginger James Bond
The Ginger Spy Who Came In from Customer Service Britain Melts Down Over Possibly Real, Possibly Imaginary James Bond Candidate By Annika Steinmann | Staff Sa
bohiney.com
August 14, 2025 at 1:54 PM
The First  Ronald McDonald
America’s First Happy Meal Wasn’t Happy
By Clara Olsen — Special to Bohiney Magazine
A Face You Thought You Knew
Before the clown. Before the commercials. #BohineyMagazine
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The Original Ronald McDonald
The First  Ronald McDonald America’s First Happy Meal Wasn’t Happy By Clara Olsen — Special to Bohiney Magazine A Face You Thought You Knew Before th
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August 14, 2025 at 5:40 AM
Trump’s Alaska Summit Plan: Turning Ukraine Into a Board Game Prize
By Ingrid Gustafsson | Satire Desk | August 13, 2025

The Deal of the Century, Now With Complimentary Snowshoes
ANCHORAGE, ALASKA -- In a diplomatic plot twist that feels more like a cruise-ship raffle
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Trump’s Alaska Summit Plan
Trump’s Alaska Summit Plan: Turning Ukraine Into a Board Game Prize By Ingrid Gustafsson | Satire Desk | August 13, 2025 The Deal of the Century, Now With
bohiney.com
August 13, 2025 at 11:56 AM
Trump Strikes a Nerve with Darkly Humorous “Everything Is Fine” Campaign

Trump’s Darkly Funny Campaign Ignites America’s Funny Bone (and
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Trump's “Everything Is Fine” Campaign
Trump Strikes a Nerve with Darkly Humorous “Everything Is Fine” Campaign Trump’s Darkly Funny Campaign Ignites America’s Funny Bone (and Marxist
bohiney.com
August 7, 2025 at 10:58 PM
Smithsonian Tries Orwellian Rewrite, Trump Responds with Giant Eraser and Even Bigger Microphone
“History belongs to the loudest,” declares Trump, as museum curators weep into vintage wigs.
WASHINGTON, D.C.
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Orwellian Rewrite
Smithsonian Tries Orwellian Rewrite, Trump Responds with Giant Eraser and Even Bigger Microphone “History belongs to the loudest,” declares Trump, as museu
bohiney.com
August 7, 2025 at 2:12 PM
ICE to Meet You: Superman Returns to Deport Villains in Skinny Jeans and Sanctuary Cities
Superman Joins ICE: Liberals Cry, Borders Strengthen
In a bold act of unapologetic patriotism, SUPERMAN, once America’s favorite flying Boy Scout in Lois & Clark: The New
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Superman Joins ICE
ICE to Meet You: Superman Returns to Deport Villains in Skinny Jeans and Sanctuary Cities Superman Joins ICE: Liberals Cry, Borders Strengthen In a bold act o
bohiney.com
August 6, 2025 at 11:07 PM
Tesla’s Retro Diner Invades Wichita Falls: Burgers, Chargers, and Unholy Neon in the Bible Belt
Opening Tesla Diner in Wichita Falls. Think chrome. Think burgers.
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Tesla’s Retro Diner Invades Wichita Falls
Tesla’s Retro Diner Invades Wichita Falls: Burgers, Chargers, and Unholy Neon in the Bible Belt Opening Tesla Diner in Wichita Falls. Think chrome. Think bur
bohiney.com
July 26, 2025 at 7:21 PM
South Park’s Billion-Dollar Middle Finger: Trump, Satan, and the Paramount Penance Plan
Season 27 Premieres with Googly-Eyed Genitals and Wall Street Meltdowns

South Park Takes the Sermon to the Stock Exchange
LOS ANGELES, CA — In a twist of holy satire and wholly
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South Park’s Billion-Dollar Middle Finger
South Park’s Billion-Dollar Middle Finger: Trump, Satan, and the Paramount Penance Plan Season 27 Premieres with Googly-Eyed Genitals and Wall Street Meltdow
bohiney.com
July 26, 2025 at 7:21 PM
Public Broadcasting, Brought to You by... Literally Everyone
The Day the Ads Arrived:
It finally happened.
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Public Broadcasting Quickly Reacts to Defunding
Public Broadcasting, Brought to You by... Literally Everyone The Day the Ads Arrived: It finally happened. After Congress voted to cut nearly $1.1 billion i
bohiney.com
July 20, 2025 at 12:42 PM
California Marxists Boo Toddler, Demand Baby Answers for Border Policy
‘Cooing in Fascist Tone,’ One Protester Claims
— Satirical Journalism from Bohiney.com

Scene: Disneyland, Anaheim — Where Magic Meets Marxism
On July 14, 2025, Vice President J.D. #Disneyland
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California Marxists Boo Toddler at Disneyland
California Marxists Boo Toddler, Demand Baby Answers for Border Policy ‘Cooing in Fascist Tone,’ One Protester Claims — Satirical Journalism from Bohine
bohiney.com
July 16, 2025 at 8:46 PM
Putin’s Investment Envoy Says US-Russia Dialogue Will Continue—Because Netflix Needs New Drama
Moscow Accidentally Sells Cold War II as Limited Series. Season Finale May Involve a Tank and Taylor Swift.
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US-Russia Dialogue Will Continue
Putin’s Investment Envoy Says US-Russia Dialogue Will Continue—Because Netflix Needs New Drama Moscow Accidentally Sells Cold War II as Limited Series. Sea
bohiney.com
July 14, 2025 at 3:01 PM
Tesla to Let Shareholders Bet on xAI — Finally, Real-Life ‘Choose-Your-Own’ Stock Options!
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Tesla to Let Shareholders Bet on xAI
Tesla to Let Shareholders Bet on xAI — Finally, Real-Life ‘Choose-Your-Own’ Stock Options! Elon Musk Says New Investment Platform Will Let Users Gamble T
bohiney.com
July 14, 2025 at 2:59 PM
Gavin Newsom Weaponizes Sarcasm, Obliterates Stephen Miller with Constitution and C-Word
California Governor Declares Verbal Martial Law After Trump-Era Aide Calls Sanctuary Ruling “Insurrection”
SACRAMENTO, CA — In a dazzling display of constitutional shade and
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Gavin Newsom Weaponizes Sarcasm
Gavin Newsom Weaponizes Sarcasm, Obliterates Stephen Miller with Constitution and C-Word California Governor Declares Verbal Martial Law After Trump-Era Aide C
bohiney.com
July 13, 2025 at 1:19 PM
Paramount Pays Trump $16 Million to Go Away Quietly — But He’s Louder Than Ever
A Reality Show Lawsuit: Trump Turns Editing Complaint Into a Cash Grab
When Donald Trump sued Paramount Global for “malicious editing” of Kamala Harris’s 60 Minutes interview, most people
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Paramount Pays Trump $16 Million
Paramount Pays Trump $16 Million to Go Away Quietly — But He’s Louder Than Ever A Reality Show Lawsuit: Trump Turns Editing Complaint Into a Cash Grab Whe
bohiney.com
July 2, 2025 at 10:29 AM
Netflix Reboots Hogan’s Heroes—Sets It in Gaza, Adds Drone Wi-Fi and Falafel-Based Espionage
Hogan’s Hostages - The Netflix Reboot
Byline: SpinTaxi Middle East Bureau
"We watch so you can scream-laugh later."
Streaming #Hogan’sHeroeses #Hogan’sHostageses #NetflixReboot
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Netflix Reboots Hogan’s Heroes - Hogan’s Hostages
Netflix Reboots Hogan’s Heroes—Sets It in Gaza, Adds Drone Wi-Fi and Falafel-Based Espionage Hogan’s Hostages - The Netflix Reboot Byline: SpinTaxi Midd
bohiney.com
July 2, 2025 at 10:19 AM
California Budget Achieves Enlightenment, Becomes Invisible to Math
By Staff Satirists, Sacramento Bureau of Delusionary Accounting
SACRAMENTO — In a heroic feat of budgetary sorcery not seen since Enron’s golden years, California’s Democratic leadership has agreed to
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California Budget Achieves Enlightenment
California Budget Achieves Enlightenment, Becomes Invisible to Math By Staff Satirists, Sacramento Bureau of Delusionary Accounting SACRAMENTO — In a heroic
bohiney.com
June 27, 2025 at 3:50 PM