Bill Hayden
@billhayden65.bsky.social
KGB spy, cosmonaut, inventor of the smell cancelling nosephones, extreme liar.
Call your own Ishmael!
Call your own Ishmael!
Reposted by Bill Hayden
"When your enemy is making one catastrophic mistake after another, interrupt them and save them from any consequences they might face."
–Schumer-Tzu
–Schumer-Tzu
November 10, 2025 at 4:45 PM
"When your enemy is making one catastrophic mistake after another, interrupt them and save them from any consequences they might face."
–Schumer-Tzu
–Schumer-Tzu
Reposted by Bill Hayden
As a TV licence payer I would like to give the BBC my permission to say fuck off to Trump.
November 11, 2025 at 8:46 AM
As a TV licence payer I would like to give the BBC my permission to say fuck off to Trump.
If there's a sense that electric car owners are ducking out on fuel duty, but don't want their mileage to be monitored, maybe the tax ought to be on tyres instead of fuel.
November 9, 2025 at 12:00 PM
If there's a sense that electric car owners are ducking out on fuel duty, but don't want their mileage to be monitored, maybe the tax ought to be on tyres instead of fuel.
Have you ever struggled to get a snap-on watch-back back on? I found the solution today. Place the watch on a flat surface and put it under a stud-press. Then gently apply pressure until you hear a popping noise.
That's the watch broken and you can throw it away.
That's the watch broken and you can throw it away.
November 8, 2025 at 3:05 PM
Have you ever struggled to get a snap-on watch-back back on? I found the solution today. Place the watch on a flat surface and put it under a stud-press. Then gently apply pressure until you hear a popping noise.
That's the watch broken and you can throw it away.
That's the watch broken and you can throw it away.
A message for the age.
November 7, 2025 at 4:24 PM
A message for the age.
When you conflate poverty with moral deficiency, this is the kind of shit you get.
There is a lady on TikTok who is doing a social experiment: she is calling houses of worship and asking if they could help her get formula for her baby (telling them food bank is out). So far, 3/22 have offered help. One was a Black church and the other was a mosque.
November 7, 2025 at 2:41 PM
When you conflate poverty with moral deficiency, this is the kind of shit you get.
Olive and Oliver imply the existence of Olivest.
November 7, 2025 at 9:45 AM
Olive and Oliver imply the existence of Olivest.
Is it just me or does Mahler just sound like not paying attention to Wagner?
November 6, 2025 at 4:07 PM
Is it just me or does Mahler just sound like not paying attention to Wagner?
@scottishlabour.bsky.social did you enjoy paying for that YouTube advert? I enjoyed it, because I will NEVER vote for you.
November 5, 2025 at 6:03 PM
@scottishlabour.bsky.social did you enjoy paying for that YouTube advert? I enjoyed it, because I will NEVER vote for you.
Rather than a microwave?
Note to self: do not forget the thawing rodents in the office
November 4, 2025 at 11:26 PM
Rather than a microwave?
Reposted by Bill Hayden
TO THE ATTENTION OF THE MAGPIE OUTSIDE MY WINDOW:
Dear sir,
As a bird, it must be hilarious to make a dog lose his mind every day, at the same time, with nothing more than your beak.
However, some of us live *inside* the house with him.
Sincerely,
The lady who provides you roasted nuts
Dear sir,
As a bird, it must be hilarious to make a dog lose his mind every day, at the same time, with nothing more than your beak.
However, some of us live *inside* the house with him.
Sincerely,
The lady who provides you roasted nuts
November 4, 2025 at 8:20 PM
TO THE ATTENTION OF THE MAGPIE OUTSIDE MY WINDOW:
Dear sir,
As a bird, it must be hilarious to make a dog lose his mind every day, at the same time, with nothing more than your beak.
However, some of us live *inside* the house with him.
Sincerely,
The lady who provides you roasted nuts
Dear sir,
As a bird, it must be hilarious to make a dog lose his mind every day, at the same time, with nothing more than your beak.
However, some of us live *inside* the house with him.
Sincerely,
The lady who provides you roasted nuts
Reposted by Bill Hayden
Dick Cheney won't see your mean jokes about his death, but Tony Blair will, hopefully.
November 4, 2025 at 11:49 AM
Dick Cheney won't see your mean jokes about his death, but Tony Blair will, hopefully.
Reposted by Bill Hayden
November 4, 2025 at 3:13 PM
Me every time I hide behind a tree to eat an After Eight mint, but accidentally leave the wrapper stuck to my sleeve.
November 4, 2025 at 5:26 PM
Me every time I hide behind a tree to eat an After Eight mint, but accidentally leave the wrapper stuck to my sleeve.
Reposted by Bill Hayden
Dick Shotman
United States, Census, 1950
United States, Census, 1950
November 4, 2025 at 12:40 PM
Dick Shotman
United States, Census, 1950
United States, Census, 1950
Reposted by Bill Hayden
I didn't realise being a racist cunt was a protected characteristic.
November 4, 2025 at 2:26 PM
I didn't realise being a racist cunt was a protected characteristic.
Deal.
Say what you will about Dick Cheney
November 4, 2025 at 5:02 PM
Deal.
Cuban missile crisis.
your honor, my client could have thrown a far tastier and more valuable cubano had he ventured just one block further north
November 4, 2025 at 4:45 PM
Cuban missile crisis.
Reposted by Bill Hayden
New awareness campaign
November 3, 2025 at 3:23 PM
New awareness campaign
This is the juxtaposition I have on my feed. And I'm not saying either of the posters are wrong.
November 3, 2025 at 1:05 PM
This is the juxtaposition I have on my feed. And I'm not saying either of the posters are wrong.
Does anyone know what this wee creature is? Fine tip ballpoint pen for scale. Length approximately 4 mm.
November 3, 2025 at 8:52 AM
Does anyone know what this wee creature is? Fine tip ballpoint pen for scale. Length approximately 4 mm.
Reposted by Bill Hayden
(At my boss's funeral kneeling and whispering at coffin):
"Who's thinking outside the box now
Gary?"
"Who's thinking outside the box now
Gary?"
November 2, 2025 at 9:23 PM
(At my boss's funeral kneeling and whispering at coffin):
"Who's thinking outside the box now
Gary?"
"Who's thinking outside the box now
Gary?"
Italians came to Scotland and brought us the ice-cream sandwich.
The Romans made a dessert and called it a piece.
The Romans made a dessert and called it a piece.
November 2, 2025 at 10:13 PM
Italians came to Scotland and brought us the ice-cream sandwich.
The Romans made a dessert and called it a piece.
The Romans made a dessert and called it a piece.
Reposted by Bill Hayden
The guy responsible for your 401k: What if... Wiley E. Coyote just never looked down?
November 2, 2025 at 3:02 AM
The guy responsible for your 401k: What if... Wiley E. Coyote just never looked down?
Reposted by Bill Hayden
The cops showed up at the house bc I posted “I’m giving kids microplastics for Halloween” on bluesky, but after I explained to them what microplastics and jokes are they were actually pretty decent about the whole thing, gave them funsize snickers for their troubles, with a bonus razor blade in each
October 31, 2025 at 8:04 PM
The cops showed up at the house bc I posted “I’m giving kids microplastics for Halloween” on bluesky, but after I explained to them what microplastics and jokes are they were actually pretty decent about the whole thing, gave them funsize snickers for their troubles, with a bonus razor blade in each