Alex Barry
@afictionalguy.bsky.social
There's a pot boiling on the front burner. There's a toddler on the floor playing, and they look up at the handle of the pot looming over them.
Do you tell yourself the child is safe because they haven't been scalded yet, or do you move the pot?
This post is not about kitchen safety.
Do you tell yourself the child is safe because they haven't been scalded yet, or do you move the pot?
This post is not about kitchen safety.
October 9, 2025 at 2:40 PM
There's a pot boiling on the front burner. There's a toddler on the floor playing, and they look up at the handle of the pot looming over them.
Do you tell yourself the child is safe because they haven't been scalded yet, or do you move the pot?
This post is not about kitchen safety.
Do you tell yourself the child is safe because they haven't been scalded yet, or do you move the pot?
This post is not about kitchen safety.
Person who is not stealing from you: Undocumented person getting stitches at the ER that is legally required to provide emergency care to every living person who walks in the door.
Person who is stealing from you: The CEO of your company who makes 320 times what you do to sit in meetings all day.
Person who is stealing from you: The CEO of your company who makes 320 times what you do to sit in meetings all day.
October 1, 2025 at 11:29 PM
Person who is not stealing from you: Undocumented person getting stitches at the ER that is legally required to provide emergency care to every living person who walks in the door.
Person who is stealing from you: The CEO of your company who makes 320 times what you do to sit in meetings all day.
Person who is stealing from you: The CEO of your company who makes 320 times what you do to sit in meetings all day.
Notice how they're not sending troops to Seattle or San Francisco. Both very liberal. Both long maligned and stereotyped by the right. Why? Because their rich tech bro benefactors live in those cities, and if they start to see tanks on their streets they might start to change their minds.
October 1, 2025 at 2:51 AM
Notice how they're not sending troops to Seattle or San Francisco. Both very liberal. Both long maligned and stereotyped by the right. Why? Because their rich tech bro benefactors live in those cities, and if they start to see tanks on their streets they might start to change their minds.
Very small number of people: "Hey, so I've been thinking about it, and I think I'd feel more comfortable expressing myself as a different gender from now on. I think it fits me better."
MAGA: "This is clearly an existential threat to the country and we should become fascists now."
MAGA: "This is clearly an existential threat to the country and we should become fascists now."
September 19, 2025 at 5:30 PM
Very small number of people: "Hey, so I've been thinking about it, and I think I'd feel more comfortable expressing myself as a different gender from now on. I think it fits me better."
MAGA: "This is clearly an existential threat to the country and we should become fascists now."
MAGA: "This is clearly an existential threat to the country and we should become fascists now."
I'm old enough to remember the 2 weeks when Glenn Beck was saying reasonable things. They do this sometimes. It's like a vacation where for 8 to 9 days a year, they have a human soul. Then they go back to work.
September 18, 2025 at 8:03 PM
I'm old enough to remember the 2 weeks when Glenn Beck was saying reasonable things. They do this sometimes. It's like a vacation where for 8 to 9 days a year, they have a human soul. Then they go back to work.
Sorry, I'm just trying to absorb the fact that the fascism has reached "canceling a dude who was on The Man Show with Adam Carolla" level. That seems bad.
September 18, 2025 at 1:13 AM
Sorry, I'm just trying to absorb the fact that the fascism has reached "canceling a dude who was on The Man Show with Adam Carolla" level. That seems bad.
Who would have figured that people were right in the 15th century when they feared that giving average people access to information directly would ruin everything? Gutenberg, you fool!
September 17, 2025 at 3:28 PM
Who would have figured that people were right in the 15th century when they feared that giving average people access to information directly would ruin everything? Gutenberg, you fool!
If we can't ban guns, can we at least ban the internet?
September 12, 2025 at 3:04 PM
If we can't ban guns, can we at least ban the internet?
How was a once in a century deadly pandemic less stressful than this?
September 11, 2025 at 12:38 AM
How was a once in a century deadly pandemic less stressful than this?
Poland. Again? Guys, these reboots are getting out of hand.
September 10, 2025 at 12:51 AM
Poland. Again? Guys, these reboots are getting out of hand.
OK, well then I'm asking the Supreme Court to overturn Citizens United because I don't have billions of dollars to buy elections in a way that's consistent with my beliefs.
August 11, 2025 at 10:33 PM
OK, well then I'm asking the Supreme Court to overturn Citizens United because I don't have billions of dollars to buy elections in a way that's consistent with my beliefs.
Modern motivational poster for writers:
Aim for the epic fantasy novel. Even if you miss, you'll end up among the office Slack channels.
Aim for the epic fantasy novel. Even if you miss, you'll end up among the office Slack channels.
July 9, 2025 at 8:20 PM
Modern motivational poster for writers:
Aim for the epic fantasy novel. Even if you miss, you'll end up among the office Slack channels.
Aim for the epic fantasy novel. Even if you miss, you'll end up among the office Slack channels.
The waves of tech layoffs have little to do with any real or perceived benefits of AI. The ruling classes realized at the end of the pandemic that they had accidentally created a reliable path for average people to achieve prosperity, and they cannot let that stand. The peasants must never rise.
July 7, 2025 at 8:48 PM
The waves of tech layoffs have little to do with any real or perceived benefits of AI. The ruling classes realized at the end of the pandemic that they had accidentally created a reliable path for average people to achieve prosperity, and they cannot let that stand. The peasants must never rise.
OK, we really need to Clockwork Orange some folks but with episodes of Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood.
July 3, 2025 at 8:09 PM
OK, we really need to Clockwork Orange some folks but with episodes of Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood.
New therapist: "So what particular stressor are affecting you lately?"
SCOTUS: "Despite every single letter and comma of the Constitution and The Declaration of Independence, we declare the clown a king appointed by God to spread MAGAiantiy across the world. Hail spray tan!"
Me: "Just life."
SCOTUS: "Despite every single letter and comma of the Constitution and The Declaration of Independence, we declare the clown a king appointed by God to spread MAGAiantiy across the world. Hail spray tan!"
Me: "Just life."
June 27, 2025 at 4:07 PM
New therapist: "So what particular stressor are affecting you lately?"
SCOTUS: "Despite every single letter and comma of the Constitution and The Declaration of Independence, we declare the clown a king appointed by God to spread MAGAiantiy across the world. Hail spray tan!"
Me: "Just life."
SCOTUS: "Despite every single letter and comma of the Constitution and The Declaration of Independence, we declare the clown a king appointed by God to spread MAGAiantiy across the world. Hail spray tan!"
Me: "Just life."
My Jurrasic Park idea is an island where you can LARP a society that just sort of works. You go to a job, go home, have dinner, watch the news, watch late night, go to bed. The psychopathic clowns stay in the novels. There is no machine god or murder car. Welcome to Precedented Times!
June 24, 2025 at 2:57 PM
My Jurrasic Park idea is an island where you can LARP a society that just sort of works. You go to a job, go home, have dinner, watch the news, watch late night, go to bed. The psychopathic clowns stay in the novels. There is no machine god or murder car. Welcome to Precedented Times!
I'm absolutely gobsmacked that any of you think hypocrisy and promise breaking that results in blowing up brown people with giant bombs is what's going to make MAGA question him.
June 22, 2025 at 1:17 AM
I'm absolutely gobsmacked that any of you think hypocrisy and promise breaking that results in blowing up brown people with giant bombs is what's going to make MAGA question him.
Lots of people are saying things like "Not all Americans want this!"
Not all Germans wanted to invade Europe. Not all Japanese wanted to conquer half of Asia.
We're not going to get points for good intentions. We have to find a way to stop it, or we're going to face the consequences.
Not all Germans wanted to invade Europe. Not all Japanese wanted to conquer half of Asia.
We're not going to get points for good intentions. We have to find a way to stop it, or we're going to face the consequences.
June 13, 2025 at 5:49 PM
Lots of people are saying things like "Not all Americans want this!"
Not all Germans wanted to invade Europe. Not all Japanese wanted to conquer half of Asia.
We're not going to get points for good intentions. We have to find a way to stop it, or we're going to face the consequences.
Not all Germans wanted to invade Europe. Not all Japanese wanted to conquer half of Asia.
We're not going to get points for good intentions. We have to find a way to stop it, or we're going to face the consequences.
Netanyahu is a genocidal psychopath who should never see sunlight for the rest of his days. How has the world let one self-serving madman put ao many people at risk?
June 13, 2025 at 3:09 AM
Netanyahu is a genocidal psychopath who should never see sunlight for the rest of his days. How has the world let one self-serving madman put ao many people at risk?
Musk should challenge Trump to an MMA fight.
June 5, 2025 at 6:23 PM
Musk should challenge Trump to an MMA fight.
Maybe I've misremebered this period, but I don't recall Apple having to constantly remind early iPhone owners to use their new magic phone or constantly and desperately hit up early adopters to ask them what in the hell an iPhone was good for.
May 28, 2025 at 7:20 PM
Maybe I've misremebered this period, but I don't recall Apple having to constantly remind early iPhone owners to use their new magic phone or constantly and desperately hit up early adopters to ask them what in the hell an iPhone was good for.
Remember those annoying reading comprehension questions in ELA classes where you'd read the passage and have to identify to "mood" or answer true/false about whether the author was being ironic or sincere? The people who failed those quizzes run companies now. That's why everything is like this.
May 22, 2025 at 3:07 PM
Remember those annoying reading comprehension questions in ELA classes where you'd read the passage and have to identify to "mood" or answer true/false about whether the author was being ironic or sincere? The people who failed those quizzes run companies now. That's why everything is like this.
Well, a couple nuclear powers are shooting missiles at each other. So, do I keep putting 15% in a 401k or are we done here now?
May 6, 2025 at 10:41 PM
Well, a couple nuclear powers are shooting missiles at each other. So, do I keep putting 15% in a 401k or are we done here now?
We're going to have to, as a culture, reckon with how the therapy-speakification of day to day conversation contributed to a sense of individual powerlessness that helped to enable the rise of strongman and fascism. It's not the main or only cause, but it played its part. And it was avoidable.
May 1, 2025 at 3:34 PM
We're going to have to, as a culture, reckon with how the therapy-speakification of day to day conversation contributed to a sense of individual powerlessness that helped to enable the rise of strongman and fascism. It's not the main or only cause, but it played its part. And it was avoidable.
If we don't get any good music out of this self inflicted apocalypse, I'm going to be so upset.
April 17, 2025 at 11:24 PM
If we don't get any good music out of this self inflicted apocalypse, I'm going to be so upset.