Academic Tantrums, PhD (Parenting while Holding Dissertations)
@academictantrums.bsky.social
Where research meets toddler tantrums. Just vibes and grant rejections. Lecturing from Down Under with a toddler on mute and a deadline on fire. I do not have time to post but I here I am. Little publishing and many complains. Real anecdotes made posts.
Reposted by Academic Tantrums, PhD (Parenting while Holding Dissertations)
We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back.
- Carl Sagan
- Carl Sagan
August 1, 2025 at 8:31 PM
We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back.
- Carl Sagan
- Carl Sagan
Reposted by Academic Tantrums, PhD (Parenting while Holding Dissertations)
Grok is not capable of malicious compliance, it is an LLM pretending to be a person
Software engineers, on the other hand, are very capable of malicious compliance, and I wonder if that's not what we're seeing here, because even for Unwoke Grok this feels very on the nose
Software engineers, on the other hand, are very capable of malicious compliance, and I wonder if that's not what we're seeing here, because even for Unwoke Grok this feels very on the nose
July 9, 2025 at 9:27 AM
Grok is not capable of malicious compliance, it is an LLM pretending to be a person
Software engineers, on the other hand, are very capable of malicious compliance, and I wonder if that's not what we're seeing here, because even for Unwoke Grok this feels very on the nose
Software engineers, on the other hand, are very capable of malicious compliance, and I wonder if that's not what we're seeing here, because even for Unwoke Grok this feels very on the nose
Some white Aussie casuals teach with minimal effort: recycled slides, zero prep, open disdain for international students. No pedagogy, no care—just vibes and arrogance. Meanwhile, PhDs waste their talent standardising content like it’s factory work. #AcademicColonialism #TeachingByTemplate
July 9, 2025 at 12:32 AM
Some white Aussie casuals teach with minimal effort: recycled slides, zero prep, open disdain for international students. No pedagogy, no care—just vibes and arrogance. Meanwhile, PhDs waste their talent standardising content like it’s factory work. #AcademicColonialism #TeachingByTemplate
🌟 Never doubt yourself. With a genius partner 🧠, a small army of students ✍️, overworked assistants 🧑💻, and invisible colleagues 🤝 doing the real work, you too can get promoted 📈. Just add your name 📄, and smile for the newsletter 📸. #AcademicInspirarion #PromotedByProxy
July 9, 2025 at 12:14 AM
🌟 Never doubt yourself. With a genius partner 🧠, a small army of students ✍️, overworked assistants 🧑💻, and invisible colleagues 🤝 doing the real work, you too can get promoted 📈. Just add your name 📄, and smile for the newsletter 📸. #AcademicInspirarion #PromotedByProxy
Power couples in academia: one chairs the committee, the other gets help to get the promotion. Together, they curate the faculty mood board, review each other’s grants, and run the school like a family business—with tenure benefits. 💍📈📚 #AcademicDynasties #PromoteYourLover
July 9, 2025 at 12:02 AM
Power couples in academia: one chairs the committee, the other gets help to get the promotion. Together, they curate the faculty mood board, review each other’s grants, and run the school like a family business—with tenure benefits. 💍📈📚 #AcademicDynasties #PromoteYourLover
Academia: where some schools aren’t run by merit, but by nepotism, hypergamy, and tribal networking. Publish or perish? Nah. Marry well, network tighter, and praise your mentor’s poor work. #IvoryTowerGames #AcademicNepotism
July 8, 2025 at 11:59 PM
Academia: where some schools aren’t run by merit, but by nepotism, hypergamy, and tribal networking. Publish or perish? Nah. Marry well, network tighter, and praise your mentor’s poor work. #IvoryTowerGames #AcademicNepotism
Being Head of School:
Option A: Earn respect through years of solid research and integrity.
Option B: Master office gossip, feign leadership, decorate your CV with buzzwords, and never make eye contact with actual work.
Guess which one’s chairing the meeting. 🪑🎭 #WorkplaceSatire #AcademicLife
Option A: Earn respect through years of solid research and integrity.
Option B: Master office gossip, feign leadership, decorate your CV with buzzwords, and never make eye contact with actual work.
Guess which one’s chairing the meeting. 🪑🎭 #WorkplaceSatire #AcademicLife
July 8, 2025 at 11:56 PM
Being Head of School:
Option A: Earn respect through years of solid research and integrity.
Option B: Master office gossip, feign leadership, decorate your CV with buzzwords, and never make eye contact with actual work.
Guess which one’s chairing the meeting. 🪑🎭 #WorkplaceSatire #AcademicLife
Option A: Earn respect through years of solid research and integrity.
Option B: Master office gossip, feign leadership, decorate your CV with buzzwords, and never make eye contact with actual work.
Guess which one’s chairing the meeting. 🪑🎭 #WorkplaceSatire #AcademicLife
Associate Professor by title, postdoc by paycheck. Academia’s way of saying “we value your work… emotionally.” #TenureTrackYeahNah #AcademicHustle
July 8, 2025 at 11:52 PM
Associate Professor by title, postdoc by paycheck. Academia’s way of saying “we value your work… emotionally.” #TenureTrackYeahNah #AcademicHustle
Not being white and immigrant in Australian academia feels like being invited to the party… but asked to serve snacks, write the DEI policy, and smile in the brochure. Just don’t ask for a promotion. #AcademicLife #AusPoliteExclusion #DiversityOnPaperOnly #DiversityJustForYourMates
July 8, 2025 at 1:13 PM
Not being white and immigrant in Australian academia feels like being invited to the party… but asked to serve snacks, write the DEI policy, and smile in the brochure. Just don’t ask for a promotion. #AcademicLife #AusPoliteExclusion #DiversityOnPaperOnly #DiversityJustForYourMates
Amazing how if a certain academics form certain gender and ethnicity say something loudly enough, it becomes theory. Add a scarf and a frown, and suddenly it’s a keynote. No citations needed—just vibes and volume. #AcademicPowerMoves #CiteYourselfBoss
#DecolonizeButMakeItSafe
#DecolonizeButMakeItSafe
July 8, 2025 at 1:09 PM
Amazing how if a certain academics form certain gender and ethnicity say something loudly enough, it becomes theory. Add a scarf and a frown, and suddenly it’s a keynote. No citations needed—just vibes and volume. #AcademicPowerMoves #CiteYourselfBoss
#DecolonizeButMakeItSafe
#DecolonizeButMakeItSafe
Furthermore, love how uni websites “celebrate diversity” by quietly removing the full staff list—because it’s a bit too obvious that everyone at the top is named Ian, wears linen, and owns a vineyard. Inclusion? Only in the mission statement. #AcademicDiversity #WhereAreTheFaces #SameIansNewPa
July 8, 2025 at 1:01 PM
Furthermore, love how uni websites “celebrate diversity” by quietly removing the full staff list—because it’s a bit too obvious that everyone at the top is named Ian, wears linen, and owns a vineyard. Inclusion? Only in the mission statement. #AcademicDiversity #WhereAreTheFaces #SameIansNewPa
Love how academia preaches diversity—then hands all the power to the same 5 white dudes and dudettes. So inspiring to watch panels on inclusion moderated by people from private schools who’ve never been excluded from anything. #AcademicDiversity #InclusionIllusion #SameFacesDifferentGran
July 8, 2025 at 12:59 PM
Love how academia preaches diversity—then hands all the power to the same 5 white dudes and dudettes. So inspiring to watch panels on inclusion moderated by people from private schools who’ve never been excluded from anything. #AcademicDiversity #InclusionIllusion #SameFacesDifferentGran
Tired of being last in the rankings. 16+ years studying and in academia, 0 impact, 0 appreciation at the workplace. Starting to suspect I’ve wasted my life… but hey, at least I have 47 tote bags and a PhD-shaped hole where joy used to be. #AcademicLife #CitedByAccident #WastedPotentialButTenured
July 8, 2025 at 12:54 PM
Tired of being last in the rankings. 16+ years studying and in academia, 0 impact, 0 appreciation at the workplace. Starting to suspect I’ve wasted my life… but hey, at least I have 47 tote bags and a PhD-shaped hole where joy used to be. #AcademicLife #CitedByAccident #WastedPotentialButTenured
🌍 MIDDLE EAST ACADEMIA VIBES
-Prestige is imported, equity optional
- “Local but not Jewish?” “Muslim but not Iranian?” “Brown but not Emirati?” Good luck getting tenure
-Meanwhile, “Dr. John from Cambridge” still gets the keynote. 🫠
#CiteJohnSmith #MiddleEastAcademia
-Prestige is imported, equity optional
- “Local but not Jewish?” “Muslim but not Iranian?” “Brown but not Emirati?” Good luck getting tenure
-Meanwhile, “Dr. John from Cambridge” still gets the keynote. 🫠
#CiteJohnSmith #MiddleEastAcademia
July 8, 2025 at 12:16 PM
🌍 MIDDLE EAST ACADEMIA VIBES
-Prestige is imported, equity optional
- “Local but not Jewish?” “Muslim but not Iranian?” “Brown but not Emirati?” Good luck getting tenure
-Meanwhile, “Dr. John from Cambridge” still gets the keynote. 🫠
#CiteJohnSmith #MiddleEastAcademia
-Prestige is imported, equity optional
- “Local but not Jewish?” “Muslim but not Iranian?” “Brown but not Emirati?” Good luck getting tenure
-Meanwhile, “Dr. John from Cambridge” still gets the keynote. 🫠
#CiteJohnSmith #MiddleEastAcademia
📖 African Academia Vibes:
– Power cuts during PhD defense? Classic.
– Strike? Budget freeze? No Wi-Fi? Just another semester.
– Underpaid, overworked, and undercited.
– “Dr. John from London” still gets invited to explain your own country.
#AfricanAcademia
#DoMoreWithLess
#CiteJohnSmith
– Power cuts during PhD defense? Classic.
– Strike? Budget freeze? No Wi-Fi? Just another semester.
– Underpaid, overworked, and undercited.
– “Dr. John from London” still gets invited to explain your own country.
#AfricanAcademia
#DoMoreWithLess
#CiteJohnSmith
July 8, 2025 at 12:05 PM
📖 African Academia Vibes:
– Power cuts during PhD defense? Classic.
– Strike? Budget freeze? No Wi-Fi? Just another semester.
– Underpaid, overworked, and undercited.
– “Dr. John from London” still gets invited to explain your own country.
#AfricanAcademia
#DoMoreWithLess
#CiteJohnSmith
– Power cuts during PhD defense? Classic.
– Strike? Budget freeze? No Wi-Fi? Just another semester.
– Underpaid, overworked, and undercited.
– “Dr. John from London” still gets invited to explain your own country.
#AfricanAcademia
#DoMoreWithLess
#CiteJohnSmith
Asian Edition 🇯🇵🇰🇷🇨🇳
Publish 10 papers a year.
Work 90 hours.
No one outside your lab knows your name.
Jealous of that Oxford guy with one TED Talk? You should be.
Tenure by age 50… maybe.
Meanwhile, “Dr. Emma from Stanford” gets 5x the citations for a blog post.
#CiteJohnSmith #AsianAcademy
Publish 10 papers a year.
Work 90 hours.
No one outside your lab knows your name.
Jealous of that Oxford guy with one TED Talk? You should be.
Tenure by age 50… maybe.
Meanwhile, “Dr. Emma from Stanford” gets 5x the citations for a blog post.
#CiteJohnSmith #AsianAcademy
July 8, 2025 at 12:01 PM
Asian Edition 🇯🇵🇰🇷🇨🇳
Publish 10 papers a year.
Work 90 hours.
No one outside your lab knows your name.
Jealous of that Oxford guy with one TED Talk? You should be.
Tenure by age 50… maybe.
Meanwhile, “Dr. Emma from Stanford” gets 5x the citations for a blog post.
#CiteJohnSmith #AsianAcademy
Publish 10 papers a year.
Work 90 hours.
No one outside your lab knows your name.
Jealous of that Oxford guy with one TED Talk? You should be.
Tenure by age 50… maybe.
Meanwhile, “Dr. Emma from Stanford” gets 5x the citations for a blog post.
#CiteJohnSmith #AsianAcademy
ACADEMIC THOUGHTFLUENCER – EU Edition 🇪🇺
Must:
– Say “post-anthropocene” in 3+ languages
– Cite Foucault, ignore local scholars
– Eurocentric views are a must
– More panels than publications
– Able to navigate EU grants like a techno DJ at 3am
Retweet to be considered.
#EuroAcademia
#VisibilityFirst
Must:
– Say “post-anthropocene” in 3+ languages
– Cite Foucault, ignore local scholars
– Eurocentric views are a must
– More panels than publications
– Able to navigate EU grants like a techno DJ at 3am
Retweet to be considered.
#EuroAcademia
#VisibilityFirst
July 8, 2025 at 11:51 AM
ACADEMIC THOUGHTFLUENCER – EU Edition 🇪🇺
Must:
– Say “post-anthropocene” in 3+ languages
– Cite Foucault, ignore local scholars
– Eurocentric views are a must
– More panels than publications
– Able to navigate EU grants like a techno DJ at 3am
Retweet to be considered.
#EuroAcademia
#VisibilityFirst
Must:
– Say “post-anthropocene” in 3+ languages
– Cite Foucault, ignore local scholars
– Eurocentric views are a must
– More panels than publications
– Able to navigate EU grants like a techno DJ at 3am
Retweet to be considered.
#EuroAcademia
#VisibilityFirst
📢 Latin America version (English)
Now hiring: Academic Influencer
Must:
– Say “decolonial” with a sepia filter
– Foreign white partner highly recommended
– Folkloric clothes are a must
– Have more Reels than papers
– Research optional, vibes essential
#AcademiaLatAm #KardashianIndex
Now hiring: Academic Influencer
Must:
– Say “decolonial” with a sepia filter
– Foreign white partner highly recommended
– Folkloric clothes are a must
– Have more Reels than papers
– Research optional, vibes essential
#AcademiaLatAm #KardashianIndex
July 8, 2025 at 11:31 AM
📢 Latin America version (English)
Now hiring: Academic Influencer
Must:
– Say “decolonial” with a sepia filter
– Foreign white partner highly recommended
– Folkloric clothes are a must
– Have more Reels than papers
– Research optional, vibes essential
#AcademiaLatAm #KardashianIndex
Now hiring: Academic Influencer
Must:
– Say “decolonial” with a sepia filter
– Foreign white partner highly recommended
– Folkloric clothes are a must
– Have more Reels than papers
– Research optional, vibes essential
#AcademiaLatAm #KardashianIndex
Now hiring at UniStraya™: Senior Lecturer in Visibility
Must bring:
– Decent tan, polished LinkedIn, podcast about “irrelevant impactful leadership” ✅
– Ability to say “First Nations” without ever citing one ✅
– Research? Ah yeah… nah.
#Academia #AussieEdition #KardashianIndex
Make your own country😉
Must bring:
– Decent tan, polished LinkedIn, podcast about “irrelevant impactful leadership” ✅
– Ability to say “First Nations” without ever citing one ✅
– Research? Ah yeah… nah.
#Academia #AussieEdition #KardashianIndex
Make your own country😉
July 8, 2025 at 11:18 AM
Now hiring at UniStraya™: Senior Lecturer in Visibility
Must bring:
– Decent tan, polished LinkedIn, podcast about “irrelevant impactful leadership” ✅
– Ability to say “First Nations” without ever citing one ✅
– Research? Ah yeah… nah.
#Academia #AussieEdition #KardashianIndex
Make your own country😉
Must bring:
– Decent tan, polished LinkedIn, podcast about “irrelevant impactful leadership” ✅
– Ability to say “First Nations” without ever citing one ✅
– Research? Ah yeah… nah.
#Academia #AussieEdition #KardashianIndex
Make your own country😉
“UniStraya™ – Proudly shaping the future, one curated profile at a time. Research excellence? That’s sooo 2010.”
July 8, 2025 at 11:16 AM
“UniStraya™ – Proudly shaping the future, one curated profile at a time. Research excellence? That’s sooo 2010.”
🚨 Now hiring: Senior Lecturer Influencer
Requirements:
– Poor publication record ✅
– High Kardashian Index ✅
– Podcast voice + soft lighting ✅
Actual research? Optional.
Looking good while talking about it? Essential.
-Cute Instagram with dogs, kids or travel is a bonus. 😉
#Academia #Visibility
Requirements:
– Poor publication record ✅
– High Kardashian Index ✅
– Podcast voice + soft lighting ✅
Actual research? Optional.
Looking good while talking about it? Essential.
-Cute Instagram with dogs, kids or travel is a bonus. 😉
#Academia #Visibility
July 8, 2025 at 11:07 AM
🚨 Now hiring: Senior Lecturer Influencer
Requirements:
– Poor publication record ✅
– High Kardashian Index ✅
– Podcast voice + soft lighting ✅
Actual research? Optional.
Looking good while talking about it? Essential.
-Cute Instagram with dogs, kids or travel is a bonus. 😉
#Academia #Visibility
Requirements:
– Poor publication record ✅
– High Kardashian Index ✅
– Podcast voice + soft lighting ✅
Actual research? Optional.
Looking good while talking about it? Essential.
-Cute Instagram with dogs, kids or travel is a bonus. 😉
#Academia #Visibility
Academia Visibility Olympics:
🥇 White men–legacy mode
🥈 White women–boosted by the DEI breeze
🥉 Asians–Consistent, quiet qualifiers and model minorities
🏃♀️ Aboriginal scholars–always invited to open the ceremony, never to win
🚫 Other non-white men?Still waiting at the gate
#Academia #DiversityShow
🥇 White men–legacy mode
🥈 White women–boosted by the DEI breeze
🥉 Asians–Consistent, quiet qualifiers and model minorities
🏃♀️ Aboriginal scholars–always invited to open the ceremony, never to win
🚫 Other non-white men?Still waiting at the gate
#Academia #DiversityShow
July 8, 2025 at 10:56 AM
Academia Visibility Olympics:
🥇 White men–legacy mode
🥈 White women–boosted by the DEI breeze
🥉 Asians–Consistent, quiet qualifiers and model minorities
🏃♀️ Aboriginal scholars–always invited to open the ceremony, never to win
🚫 Other non-white men?Still waiting at the gate
#Academia #DiversityShow
🥇 White men–legacy mode
🥈 White women–boosted by the DEI breeze
🥉 Asians–Consistent, quiet qualifiers and model minorities
🏃♀️ Aboriginal scholars–always invited to open the ceremony, never to win
🚫 Other non-white men?Still waiting at the gate
#Academia #DiversityShow
Panels are full. Statements are polished. But where’s the first Aboriginal VC in Australia? Inuit in Canada? Indigenous woman in Latin America? Talk less, appoint more. #diversity #academia
July 8, 2025 at 10:45 AM
Panels are full. Statements are polished. But where’s the first Aboriginal VC in Australia? Inuit in Canada? Indigenous woman in Latin America? Talk less, appoint more. #diversity #academia
Diversity in academia: proudly showcasing a mosaic of voices… carefully selected to all say the same thing. Don’t make uncomfortable anyone at the leadership retreat. #diversity in #academia
July 8, 2025 at 10:43 AM
Diversity in academia: proudly showcasing a mosaic of voices… carefully selected to all say the same thing. Don’t make uncomfortable anyone at the leadership retreat. #diversity in #academia
Who cares about the research? Just stay visible, speak fluent buzzword, and master the art of panel hopping. That’s the real academic hustle. 🫠
July 8, 2025 at 10:36 AM
Who cares about the research? Just stay visible, speak fluent buzzword, and master the art of panel hopping. That’s the real academic hustle. 🫠