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abysMEL
@abysmel.bsky.social
· Jul 21
Secret alt for unhinged mental illness posting :b
I guess I should really just conclude the "vent account" experiment as a massive failure, log out forever and move on... 🤷♀️
September 4, 2025 at 9:43 AM
I guess I should really just conclude the "vent account" experiment as a massive failure, log out forever and move on... 🤷♀️
Somehow I actually prefer the cringe Mel that meows at work, endlessly yaps about Bookchin and transfeminism, writes bad lesbian smut, and hornyposts about Impalers from Helldivers over the person I see on here ngl...
I think I prefer being embarrassing and naive over being vile and repulsive 🫤
I think I prefer being embarrassing and naive over being vile and repulsive 🫤
Scrolling through the posts here I really really don't like the person I see..
These parts of me need to be fucking purged
These parts of me need to be fucking purged
September 4, 2025 at 9:40 AM
Somehow I actually prefer the cringe Mel that meows at work, endlessly yaps about Bookchin and transfeminism, writes bad lesbian smut, and hornyposts about Impalers from Helldivers over the person I see on here ngl...
I think I prefer being embarrassing and naive over being vile and repulsive 🫤
I think I prefer being embarrassing and naive over being vile and repulsive 🫤
You either die a "manmoder" or you live long enough to see yourself becoming a toxic luckshit passoid, I guess... <___<
Isn't it ironic how boymoder me went on big tirades about passoids who somehow think they're better than other trans women despite just being luckshits...
Just to then become a luckshit passoid myself and going on rants about naive early girls...
Just to then become a luckshit passoid myself and going on rants about naive early girls...
September 4, 2025 at 9:27 AM
You either die a "manmoder" or you live long enough to see yourself becoming a toxic luckshit passoid, I guess... <___<
Isn't it ironic how boymoder me went on big tirades about passoids who somehow think they're better than other trans women despite just being luckshits...
Just to then become a luckshit passoid myself and going on rants about naive early girls...
Just to then become a luckshit passoid myself and going on rants about naive early girls...
September 4, 2025 at 9:25 AM
Isn't it ironic how boymoder me went on big tirades about passoids who somehow think they're better than other trans women despite just being luckshits...
Just to then become a luckshit passoid myself and going on rants about naive early girls...
Just to then become a luckshit passoid myself and going on rants about naive early girls...
Apparently, when given an anonymous account with almost no self-imposed restrictions, I just revert to full bitterhon-mode.
I really don't like that tbh... 😒
I really don't like that tbh... 😒
September 4, 2025 at 8:55 AM
Apparently, when given an anonymous account with almost no self-imposed restrictions, I just revert to full bitterhon-mode.
I really don't like that tbh... 😒
I really don't like that tbh... 😒
I guess the problem with venting is that in order to put emotions into words you need to give them a lot of room, which is exactly what my therapist told me I'm not supposed to do 🫤
September 4, 2025 at 6:32 AM
I guess the problem with venting is that in order to put emotions into words you need to give them a lot of room, which is exactly what my therapist told me I'm not supposed to do 🫤
>You're a troll, there's no way your mental health is actually that bad
I wish...
I wish...
September 3, 2025 at 10:01 AM
>You're a troll, there's no way your mental health is actually that bad
I wish...
I wish...
Honestly, I'm actually quite upset that those arguments, which I believe were pretty sane and reasonably well thought out, were dismissed on the basis that I am unfortunately otherwise pretty mentally ill.... Yeah that does bother me a lot ngl <____<
September 3, 2025 at 5:10 AM
Honestly, I'm actually quite upset that those arguments, which I believe were pretty sane and reasonably well thought out, were dismissed on the basis that I am unfortunately otherwise pretty mentally ill.... Yeah that does bother me a lot ngl <____<
Idk why I did that...
No, I don't regret what I said, quite the contrary, but I'm not happy that I impulsively violated my own rules for this account again... 🫤
No, I don't regret what I said, quite the contrary, but I'm not happy that I impulsively violated my own rules for this account again... 🫤
September 3, 2025 at 4:51 AM
Idk why I did that...
No, I don't regret what I said, quite the contrary, but I'm not happy that I impulsively violated my own rules for this account again... 🫤
No, I don't regret what I said, quite the contrary, but I'm not happy that I impulsively violated my own rules for this account again... 🫤
Well, ok, let's be real, cis women get punished for that too...
OMGGG... I FUCKING HATE THIS SOCIETY!!
Fuck patriarchy! <_____<
OMGGG... I FUCKING HATE THIS SOCIETY!!
Fuck patriarchy! <_____<
I just want to be a woman... why is this wretched society so hell-bent on punishing me for that? 😞
September 2, 2025 at 11:18 AM
Well, ok, let's be real, cis women get punished for that too...
OMGGG... I FUCKING HATE THIS SOCIETY!!
Fuck patriarchy! <_____<
OMGGG... I FUCKING HATE THIS SOCIETY!!
Fuck patriarchy! <_____<
Yes, I was wrong for going after other trans people instead of the real root cause of the issue yesterday... I know...
I just really struggled to cope with all that shame and I went too far, sorry 😣
I just really struggled to cope with all that shame and I went too far, sorry 😣
Look, one problem with being marginalized is that bigots stigmatize the whole group based on the questionable behavior of a few individuals...
And even though the bigots are fundamentally to blame, seeing those behaviors does invoke feelings of shame in others in the group 🫤
And even though the bigots are fundamentally to blame, seeing those behaviors does invoke feelings of shame in others in the group 🫤
September 2, 2025 at 10:43 AM
Yes, I was wrong for going after other trans people instead of the real root cause of the issue yesterday... I know...
I just really struggled to cope with all that shame and I went too far, sorry 😣
I just really struggled to cope with all that shame and I went too far, sorry 😣
I'm aware my trans shame is malignant rot and blights my entire personality 😖
I've tried for quite a while to shake it off but it's really difficult when I'm constantly confronted with the reality that many people really do think think I'm subhuman degenerate filth who should be purged from society
I've tried for quite a while to shake it off but it's really difficult when I'm constantly confronted with the reality that many people really do think think I'm subhuman degenerate filth who should be purged from society
Look, I know I said some disgusting things today, and I'll probably hate myself for it soon... but I said these things because I really feel them.
I never wanted to be trans; I just want to be a woman.
I never wanted to be trans; I just want to be a woman.
September 2, 2025 at 10:37 AM
I'm aware my trans shame is malignant rot and blights my entire personality 😖
I've tried for quite a while to shake it off but it's really difficult when I'm constantly confronted with the reality that many people really do think think I'm subhuman degenerate filth who should be purged from society
I've tried for quite a while to shake it off but it's really difficult when I'm constantly confronted with the reality that many people really do think think I'm subhuman degenerate filth who should be purged from society
Look, one problem with being marginalized is that bigots stigmatize the whole group based on the questionable behavior of a few individuals...
And even though the bigots are fundamentally to blame, seeing those behaviors does invoke feelings of shame in others in the group 🫤
And even though the bigots are fundamentally to blame, seeing those behaviors does invoke feelings of shame in others in the group 🫤
September 2, 2025 at 10:23 AM
Look, one problem with being marginalized is that bigots stigmatize the whole group based on the questionable behavior of a few individuals...
And even though the bigots are fundamentally to blame, seeing those behaviors does invoke feelings of shame in others in the group 🫤
And even though the bigots are fundamentally to blame, seeing those behaviors does invoke feelings of shame in others in the group 🫤
Nihigo - angelic w/ nunashi
YouTube video by niplet
youtu.be
September 2, 2025 at 8:50 AM
Tbh, I'm starting to realize that venting doesn't actually serve me...
This account seems to just bring out the worst sides of me and feed my darkest impulses, without providing any actual benefit.
This account seems to just bring out the worst sides of me and feed my darkest impulses, without providing any actual benefit.
September 2, 2025 at 7:03 AM
Tbh, I'm starting to realize that venting doesn't actually serve me...
This account seems to just bring out the worst sides of me and feed my darkest impulses, without providing any actual benefit.
This account seems to just bring out the worst sides of me and feed my darkest impulses, without providing any actual benefit.
I hate myself for being a trans woman 😖
September 1, 2025 at 6:07 PM
I hate myself for being a trans woman 😖
Look, I know I said some disgusting things today, and I'll probably hate myself for it soon... but I said these things because I really feel them.
I never wanted to be trans; I just want to be a woman.
I never wanted to be trans; I just want to be a woman.
September 1, 2025 at 6:05 PM
Look, I know I said some disgusting things today, and I'll probably hate myself for it soon... but I said these things because I really feel them.
I never wanted to be trans; I just want to be a woman.
I never wanted to be trans; I just want to be a woman.
>Uhm, honey, autogynephilia is just pesudesicence. It's not fucking real 🤓👆
t. girl who somehow fulfills every single AGP cliché
t. girl who somehow fulfills every single AGP cliché
September 1, 2025 at 6:02 PM
>Uhm, honey, autogynephilia is just pesudesicence. It's not fucking real 🤓👆
t. girl who somehow fulfills every single AGP cliché
t. girl who somehow fulfills every single AGP cliché
>meet a new trans woman
>ask her if she's a hugboxer or a gockposter
>she doesn't understand
>pull out illustrated diagram explaing what is hugboxer and what is gockposter
>she laughs and says “I'm a good trans girl ma'am”
>become her friend
>she's a gockposter
>ask her if she's a hugboxer or a gockposter
>she doesn't understand
>pull out illustrated diagram explaing what is hugboxer and what is gockposter
>she laughs and says “I'm a good trans girl ma'am”
>become her friend
>she's a gockposter
September 1, 2025 at 1:26 PM
>meet a new trans woman
>ask her if she's a hugboxer or a gockposter
>she doesn't understand
>pull out illustrated diagram explaing what is hugboxer and what is gockposter
>she laughs and says “I'm a good trans girl ma'am”
>become her friend
>she's a gockposter
>ask her if she's a hugboxer or a gockposter
>she doesn't understand
>pull out illustrated diagram explaing what is hugboxer and what is gockposter
>she laughs and says “I'm a good trans girl ma'am”
>become her friend
>she's a gockposter
I'm sorry, but I just can't cope with the shame anymore.
Sometimes I wish I could die just so I wouldn't have to embarrass myself by being trans anymore 😖
Sometimes I wish I could die just so I wouldn't have to embarrass myself by being trans anymore 😖
September 1, 2025 at 11:00 AM
I'm sorry, but I just can't cope with the shame anymore.
Sometimes I wish I could die just so I wouldn't have to embarrass myself by being trans anymore 😖
Sometimes I wish I could die just so I wouldn't have to embarrass myself by being trans anymore 😖
OK... FUCK. IT.
We're crashing the fuck out.... <__<
I'm so fucking done with "the trans community." Seeing how some trans people behave makes me ashamed of having something so important in common with them.
I really wish I wasn't trans.
We're crashing the fuck out.... <__<
I'm so fucking done with "the trans community." Seeing how some trans people behave makes me ashamed of having something so important in common with them.
I really wish I wasn't trans.
September 1, 2025 at 10:45 AM
OK... FUCK. IT.
We're crashing the fuck out.... <__<
I'm so fucking done with "the trans community." Seeing how some trans people behave makes me ashamed of having something so important in common with them.
I really wish I wasn't trans.
We're crashing the fuck out.... <__<
I'm so fucking done with "the trans community." Seeing how some trans people behave makes me ashamed of having something so important in common with them.
I really wish I wasn't trans.
I'm extremely ashamed of being trans, I don't want other people to see me as a trans person.
This is why I NEED to pass so badly. Everything depends on it. I really really don't want people to think of me as a trans person.
This is why I NEED to pass so badly. Everything depends on it. I really really don't want people to think of me as a trans person.
September 1, 2025 at 10:07 AM
I'm extremely ashamed of being trans, I don't want other people to see me as a trans person.
This is why I NEED to pass so badly. Everything depends on it. I really really don't want people to think of me as a trans person.
This is why I NEED to pass so badly. Everything depends on it. I really really don't want people to think of me as a trans person.
I really wish I wasn't trans... 😞
September 1, 2025 at 9:57 AM
I really wish I wasn't trans... 😞
Even when things actually go my way for once I apparently can't be happy about it...
Cuz I'm an ungrateful spoiled obnoxious dumbfuck brat who just expects to be handed everything anyway...
Sorry for being like that, I wish I could change... really 😖
Cuz I'm an ungrateful spoiled obnoxious dumbfuck brat who just expects to be handed everything anyway...
Sorry for being like that, I wish I could change... really 😖
August 29, 2025 at 3:20 PM
Even when things actually go my way for once I apparently can't be happy about it...
Cuz I'm an ungrateful spoiled obnoxious dumbfuck brat who just expects to be handed everything anyway...
Sorry for being like that, I wish I could change... really 😖
Cuz I'm an ungrateful spoiled obnoxious dumbfuck brat who just expects to be handed everything anyway...
Sorry for being like that, I wish I could change... really 😖