Brian
@500lizards.bsky.social
I make music as Ghost Kitchen
I attend University as 500 lizards
Psych x Comp Sci Major
Future stay at home dad (single)
White male and sad about it
I attend University as 500 lizards
Psych x Comp Sci Major
Future stay at home dad (single)
White male and sad about it
I had a dream Luigi Mangione was at Christmas dinner and I wanted to show him the song I wrote about him but I was also too embarrassed cause in the song I say he made America get horny for his cock
January 15, 2025 at 11:36 PM
I had a dream Luigi Mangione was at Christmas dinner and I wanted to show him the song I wrote about him but I was also too embarrassed cause in the song I say he made America get horny for his cock
I showed you my crippling need for validation please respond
January 15, 2025 at 11:35 PM
I showed you my crippling need for validation please respond
People seeing other people's spotify wrapped:
🫷
People sharing their own spotify wrapped: 👨🍳
🫷
People sharing their own spotify wrapped: 👨🍳
December 3, 2024 at 7:42 AM
People seeing other people's spotify wrapped:
🫷
People sharing their own spotify wrapped: 👨🍳
🫷
People sharing their own spotify wrapped: 👨🍳
I whistle along to music in public because for some deranged reason I want people to know this 30 year old man is vibing to red wine supernova on repeat while buying literally only beer and lettuce
December 3, 2024 at 12:58 AM
I whistle along to music in public because for some deranged reason I want people to know this 30 year old man is vibing to red wine supernova on repeat while buying literally only beer and lettuce
I would say my overall vibe is count olaf meets the beaudelaire orphans and attempts murder several times over the course of 13 novels
December 3, 2024 at 12:51 AM
I would say my overall vibe is count olaf meets the beaudelaire orphans and attempts murder several times over the course of 13 novels
My parents call them abandonment issues, but i call them by their first names
December 3, 2024 at 12:48 AM
My parents call them abandonment issues, but i call them by their first names
Fun fact I like to get thousands of followers on random accounts/topics and then completely abandon them and move on to the next challenge
December 3, 2024 at 12:45 AM
Fun fact I like to get thousands of followers on random accounts/topics and then completely abandon them and move on to the next challenge
*opens spotify for artists
*4 people listening now
*4 people listening now
a man with a surprised look on his face is standing in front of a blue screen .
ALT: a man with a surprised look on his face is standing in front of a blue screen .
media.tenor.com
December 3, 2024 at 12:37 AM
*opens spotify for artists
*4 people listening now
*4 people listening now
A single one of my gargantuan thighs is canonically enough to take down several lesser known comedians
December 3, 2024 at 12:35 AM
A single one of my gargantuan thighs is canonically enough to take down several lesser known comedians
Has anyone tried vaping liquid ass yet or am I about to get into medical textbooks
December 3, 2024 at 12:31 AM
Has anyone tried vaping liquid ass yet or am I about to get into medical textbooks
I have unsubscribed from so many email alerts, WHERE DO THEY ALL COME FROM
December 3, 2024 at 12:18 AM
I have unsubscribed from so many email alerts, WHERE DO THEY ALL COME FROM
Maybe if I follow enough random people the algorithm will respect me
December 3, 2024 at 12:04 AM
Maybe if I follow enough random people the algorithm will respect me
Idea: chewing gum shaped like individual teeth
Followup idea: go to therapy
Followup idea: go to therapy
December 2, 2024 at 11:56 PM
Idea: chewing gum shaped like individual teeth
Followup idea: go to therapy
Followup idea: go to therapy
Day 1 of owning a smart watch: oh yeah I'm gonna track my workouts and get so buff
Day 2 of owning a smart watch: STOP REMINDING ME TO STAND UP
Day 2 of owning a smart watch: STOP REMINDING ME TO STAND UP
December 2, 2024 at 11:56 PM
Day 1 of owning a smart watch: oh yeah I'm gonna track my workouts and get so buff
Day 2 of owning a smart watch: STOP REMINDING ME TO STAND UP
Day 2 of owning a smart watch: STOP REMINDING ME TO STAND UP
Hey tump voters: beep boop your opinion is soup #whatisatariff
December 2, 2024 at 11:55 PM
Hey tump voters: beep boop your opinion is soup #whatisatariff
FUN GAME: reply to this post by closing your eyes and typing your credit card numbers
December 2, 2024 at 11:54 PM
FUN GAME: reply to this post by closing your eyes and typing your credit card numbers
I think we should start calling santa "Christmas Dad"
Just you and me though
Just you and me though
December 2, 2024 at 11:52 PM
I think we should start calling santa "Christmas Dad"
Just you and me though
Just you and me though
When you learn to code you start to get angry at random integers. Fuck negative 5 by the way #software #programming #coding
December 2, 2024 at 11:50 PM
When you learn to code you start to get angry at random integers. Fuck negative 5 by the way #software #programming #coding
Consider this: eating pizza rolls is just microdosing calzones
December 2, 2024 at 11:49 PM
Consider this: eating pizza rolls is just microdosing calzones
Back in my day I could turn the brightness of my iPod Touch all the way down and make 2% of battery last for 3 hours while I walked home in the snow. Nowadays if my phone gets to 2% I have approximately 90 seconds before my life and my family's lives are erased forever
December 2, 2024 at 11:48 PM
Back in my day I could turn the brightness of my iPod Touch all the way down and make 2% of battery last for 3 hours while I walked home in the snow. Nowadays if my phone gets to 2% I have approximately 90 seconds before my life and my family's lives are erased forever
I don't get scarves. Sure, parts of me get cold sometimes but I'm never like "damn my neck sure could use a coat"
December 2, 2024 at 11:45 PM
I don't get scarves. Sure, parts of me get cold sometimes but I'm never like "damn my neck sure could use a coat"